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See Current contributions.
See Jun 99 contributions.
See May 99 contributions.
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Sat Jul 31 11:59:00 1999
F32 in Born-Oneonta live-Wattens, New York/Austria =USA/Austria=
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Found us by: [ Web Search: ]
Prof/Studies: Housewife
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Most Significant Recent Death Exp was death of GrandFather, 27 years ago.
Cause of Death: liver cancer; Aged: 52.
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--Death Is:
sad. Death causes sorrow because we feel the loss of someone we
love very much and we realize that we will never see them again. I
think that the sorrow is caused by feeling alone and when you truly
love someone you miss the contact and interaction of their love
and yours. Death is an ending of sorts....
--The first time I ever experienced someone's death, I
cried but I was too young to really experience the pain it causes
in later years.
--That first time, how it happened was
How it happened was...when I was 5 years old my mother and Uncle
came to pick me up at school and they told me that Grandpa had died.
--The Most Vivid memory I have of this most recent death is:
Although the death I first experienced was at a young age, my father
died when I was 18 and I remember it well.The death of my father
caused a lot of emotional changes in me. I never cried or showed
my feelings before, and after my father's death I wear my feelings
on my sleeve. It made me a stronger person and a lover of life. I
have also learned to accept what comes my way and to relize that
there is a higher meaning in life than just to exist.
--What I think my (USA/Austria) culture needs to better learn about death is:
It is not an ending but a new beginning for the person who has
passed on. Memories live on...
--One gift for which I shall always be grateful is:
I realized how deep my love really was for the people who I lost,
and I learned to value life more.
--What was of most support to me in my experience with death was:
My family and believe it or not music.
--And the most difficult for me in my experience with death was:
Watching the person suffer until the end and knowing that they
were young and did't see their children grow. I guess what I mean
is realizing that the person who passed on did'nt lead a full life.
--Regarding just Being There for someone dying, my advice would be:
Regardless if you think it doesn't matter it does. They always know
you are there. Support and love mean everything.
--[My Father's] death taught me so much. I'd have others know how I:
Dealt with the feeling that I was'nt a great daughter but until
the end my father knew that I loved him.
--The most confusing point of death for me was when:
The end finally came. What do I do? What do I say? Etc....
--Not that it's a regret, but I would like to have better had time to:
be a better daughter and spend more quality time with my dad.
--But some things worked out so well... I'm SO GLAD I was able to:
be the last one with my father when he died.
--One seemingly minor thing (yet important) which impressed me was when:
I finally told my father with words that I loved him and death
would never take him out of heart and mind.
--And exactly backwards: what we didn't make a big deal of, was:
to grieve.
--I can get all teary-eyed just thinking about it all again when:
I look at my life and realize that my father is'nt here to share
it with me.
--In another dimension of Life where this all had never happened...
The only difference would be that we would be together in the flesh.
--Sometimes I think: It's just not fair...
he is so young and doesn't deserve this!
--It's sometimes so very difficult. I just wish I could
bring him back!
--When it really hit me... when I realized & acknowledged the death, I
felt sad.
--Regarding MEDICINE, DOCTORS, etc:
disappointment,and regret.
--Regarding HOSPICE etc:
The Hospice was the only organization that treated him with respect
and dignity. They were very helpful and generous. My father was a
man with a family and that's how they treated him.
--Regarding CHURCHES, RELIGION, etc:
that we were never alone.
--Religious Affiliation:
Baptist
--Regarding ONENESS of SPIRIT, etc:
like everyone knows sadness.
--Regarding MONEY:
the medical and funeral bills were overwhelming and it seemed
that the money was the main ojective other than the family and
their feelings.
--Regarding the FUNERAL:
that we celebrated the life of my father and we didn't focus on
the death.
--The weirdest part of it all to me was:
realizing that it can happen to anyone.
--SOME OF THE COMMON SIGNS OF DEATH :
an inner sadness, and non desire to live on.
--SOME OF THE COMMON STAGES OF GRIEF:
it is better to accept the impending death and live each day to
it's fullest rather than wallowing in sadness and pity and wasting
the precious time you have left with that person.
--How might you deal with yet unresolved issues from a death?:
I have already resolved this problem but as I've said I wasn't a
very emotional person and I did'nt say I love you very often out
loud. I told my father that I really loved him on his death bed
and I will always love him.
--If we were to visit one last conversation...
I just want to hear my father say I am proud of you. He wrote me
a letter before he died that I received after he died that said it
but I would like to hear it from him.
--Regarding Rights & Wishes of the Dying:
I am an organ donor and I fobid my family to bury me. I want to be
creamated and my ashes thrown on a specific place. My mother does
not agree with me but this is my decision and I have thought about
it and this is what's right for me.
--Any thoughts about your own death?:
I would feel very sad and disapponited. I really don't know what
I would do. I know myself and I would cry for a long time and feel
sorry for my loved ones.
--Any Coping Ritual or Event you invented / devised to help you cope:
I talk to my father at night before bed when something has happened
that I would like to share.
--Any Coping Rituals or Events which have carried over into your life?
Acceptance. Accept what life has dealt you, deal with it, and make
the best of it. This is the only life you have and what you decide
to do with it is your decision!
--Any New Friends emerge in the shared grieving process of Death?
My sister and I are closer than we have ever been!
- - - - - P e r s o n a l H i s t o r y - - - - -
1st Death event occurred in my life at: Very Young Child
How'd I do? Adequate
What Helped me most deal with death? Lack of Awareness
What Hindered me most in my dealing with death? Disbelief it could happen
- - - Comments on this Questionnaire & collection GuestBook - - -
Just making me think about how I dealt with it and making me think
of my father.
- - - Any other questions you feel we should have asked here?
What do you feel is the most inappropriate thing to say to someone
when a loved one has died? My answer: I know how you feel(when they
really don't) We don't want to hear anything we just want a hand
on the shoulder or a hug.
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Fri Jul 30 15:32:32 1999
F16 in Bartlesville, OK ==
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Found us by: [ Web Search: ]
I went to Yahoo. I put in a web search for "psychological
experiments" and got a link to this page along with links to
other pages.
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Most Significant Recent Death Exp was death of Mother, 14 ago.
Cause of Death: Skin Cancer; Aged: late 30s.
--Details:
already wrote about it up earlier...
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--Death Is:
when the human body stops working for some reason or another and
movement is no longer possible.
--The first time I ever experienced someone's death, I
was told by my father that she had gone up to heaven. When I was
2 and a half, I tried to climb up to the roof to see if I could
see heaven from there. My dad, thinking I was outside playing,
heard my screaming and came to realize I had fallen off the roof
and had broken one of my legs.
--That first time, how it happened was
How it happened was... my mother died of skin Cancer when I was two.
--The Most Vivid memory I have of this most recent death is:
Most recently, my grandfather died. I wasn't very close to him but
I cried anyway only because my young cousins were very close to
him. I cried for them because they no longer had their grandfather
as a companion; not really because I would miss him.
--What I think my () culture needs to better learn about death is:
not the answer. Killing yourself is one of the worst things you
can do.
--One gift for which I shall always be grateful is:
My mother was suffering when she had cancer. Her death brought an
end to suffering.
--What was of most support to me in my experience with death was:
Youth. As I said, I was so young the unfathomable power of death
hadn't really sunken in. By the time I got old enough to understand
how huge of a thing death was, time had alleviated some of the
grief and suffering.
--And the most difficult for me in my experience with death was:
I have been raised by a single father without a mother. I have not
been taught to behave "like a girl." Going through puberty was also
hard because my mother was not around to tell me about my period or
the other changes I was going through. Puberty is very frightening
without a mother.
--Regarding just Being There for someone dying, my advice would be:
I was not there when it occurred.
--[My Mother's] death taught me so much. I'd have others know how I:
listened to music to deal with it for most of my childhood.
--Regarding Humor in the death process, I'd just say that:
That wasn't really during the death experience. Recently, I was
listening to music and I realized that my mother was gone. Until
then I had hoped my mother would appear and tell me she had wanted
to run away from motherhood. I did finally realize there was a
death. This was sort of a release for me. So I laughed out loud. I
did that why? It's inexplicable.
--Not that it's a regret, but I would like to have better had time to:
have my mother watch me grow up...
--But some things worked out so well... I'm SO GLAD I was able to:
give my mother pleasur as a daughter as long as she knew me.
--One seemingly minor thing (yet important) which impressed me was when:
?
--And exactly backwards: what we didn't make a big deal of, was:
the fact that she was cremated as opposed to being buried. Everyone
in her family had been buried and she was cremated.
--I can get all teary-eyed just thinking about it all again when:
I hear tapes of her talking. My dad and her used to make tapes like
that a lot. It was her form of journalling.
--In another dimension of Life where this all had never happened...
Wow. I could go on and on about houw different my life would be
if my mother had not died. The death of my mother has so much to
do with everything else in my life: even how people treat me. If
I tell people my mother died suddenly they feel as though they
want to nurture me and care for me. Also, my father felt lonely in
Albuquerque. We moved from Albuquerque, then, ten years after her
death because the loneliness had gotten too intense for him, we moved
to Oklahoma. In Oklahoma, I have undergone a great deal of change.
--Sometimes I think: It's just not fair...
It's just not fair that a mother has birthed a daughter she will
not live long enough to nurture.
--It's sometimes so very difficult. I just wish I could
resurrect my mother.
--When it really hit me... when I realized & acknowledged the death, I
finally cried about it. I was nine when I cried for the first time.
--Regarding MEDICINE, DOCTORS, etc:
She was one of the first people to undergo chemotherapy. If her
cancer had been detected earlier, she could have lived... that
wasn't really the fault of the medical profession, though. We
weren't really on the lookout for any disease within her body.
--Regarding HOSPICE etc:
I was two. Nothing interesting happened.
--Regarding CHURCHES, RELIGION, etc:
It just meant a nice funeral.
--Religious Affiliation:
I was a Presbyterian most of my childhood but I am an atheist now.
--Regarding ONENESS of SPIRIT, etc:
Death takes a person away from their loved ones.
- - - - - P e r s o n a l H i s t o r y - - - - -
1st Death event occurred in my life at: Very Young Child
How'd I do? Adequate
What Helped me most deal with death? Other:
It happened so long ago that as I grew old enough to know what had
happened I had already somehow accepted it. This is not to say it
isn't painful for me but all the brute force of losing a parent
was absorbed by my youthful sort of ignorance.
What Hindered me most in my dealing with death? Memories
- - - Comments on this Questionnaire & collection GuestBook - - -
I'm sorry; I didn't have time to finish all of the questions on
the questionnaire.
F16 []; located in Bartlesville, OK.
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Fri Jul 30 11:42:14 1999
F30 in Atlanta, Georgia =USA=
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Found us by: [ Stumbled on it ]
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Recommended Reading-- Titles:
The Road Less Traveled
Recommended Reading-- Writers:
M. Scott Peck
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Most Significant Recent Death Exp was death of friend, 5 years ago.
Cause of Death: suicide; Aged: 23.
--Details:
My best friend's brother shot himself in the head with his
grandfather's shotgun. My best friend found him.
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--Death Is:
THE END.
--The first time I ever experienced someone's death, I
could hardly believe they were really GONE FOREVER.
--That first time, how it happened was
The first death I remember actually *registering* to me as a DEATH,
where I understood what the word really meant, was when I heard
Elvis was dead and I saw the reaction by the older folks in my
family. That's when I knew death was permanent, and no one would
ever see, hear, or speak to Elvis again.
The first person in my
family to die was my grandmother. Everyone else is still alive. My
grandmother died of cancer about 4 years ago.
--The Most Vivid memory I have of this most recent death is:
How much pain it caused.
--What I think my (USA) culture needs to better learn about death is:
?
--One gift for which I shall always be grateful is:
it ends a person's misery if they are in great pain.
--What was of most support to me in my experience with death was:
Drinking beer.
--And the most difficult for me in my experience with death was:
not knowing why they died.
--Regarding just Being There for someone dying, my advice would be:
?
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1st Death event occurred in my life at: Young Child
How'd I do? Very Well
What Helped me most deal with death? Viewing the Body
Talking and being with other people.
What Hindered me most in my dealing with death? Thoughts of the Afterlife
I don't like to think about death b/c I don't know what happens
afterward and that scares me.
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Wed Jul 28 18:10:11 1999
F in traverese city, mi =usa=
Name: michelle
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Found us by: [ Stumbled on it ]
Prof/Studies: student
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Most Significant Recent Death Exp was death of Friend, 1 month ago.
Cause of Death: natural causes; Aged: 15.
--Details:
he died in his sleep
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--Death Is:
when human people bodies die
the body is hard and still and doesn't
move it and ot starts to rot. But the human sole goes to heaven or
hell (depending on the life they lead)
--The first time I ever experienced someone's death, I
was in shcok and i refused to believe that he was dead. I cryed and
cryed. Then i started to become a "rebel" i disobeyed my parents
and such
--That first time, how it happened was
How it happened was...I was taking a test in 4th grade and i got
called down to the office and my mother told me that my grandpa
had died.I refused to believe it till i saw his body. I actullay
had to touch it to make sure
--The Most Vivid memory I have of this most recent death is:
Nothing
--What I think my (usa) culture needs to better learn about death is:
that you cant live in teh past the person died and you have to move
on with your life
--One gift for which I shall always be grateful is:
it brough my family closer together and made me realize that my
family will not be with me forever and i should enjoy there compamy
while i have it
--What was of most support to me in my experience with death was:
school and wok being able to take my mind off it
--And the most difficult for me in my experience with death was:
not being able to say goodbye
- - - - - P e r s o n a l H i s t o r y - - - - -
1st Death event occurred in my life at: Young Child
How'd I do? A bit rough
What Helped me most deal with death? Distractions
What Hindered me most in my dealing with death? Crying and Crying
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Tue Jul 27 22:59:40 1999
F21 in Chicago, Il =United States=
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Found us by: [ Web Search: ]
yahoo
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Prof/Studies: Sales
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Most Significant Recent Death Exp was death of Lover, a few months ago.
Cause of Death: cancer; Aged: 25.
--Details:
millitary incompetence for starters,
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--Death Is:
ceaseing to be here
--The first time I ever experienced someone's death, I
was young and afraid
--That first time, how it happened was
grat grandmother died
--The Most Vivid memory I have of this most recent death is:
rage
--What I think my (United States) culture needs to better learn about death is:
how to teach the youngeer ones to deal with it so it is not so hard
--One gift for which I shall always be grateful is:
the feeling he is near
--What was of most support to me in my experience with death was:
love for him
--And the most difficult for me in my experience with death was:
i felt as tho i had missed my chance
--Regarding just Being There for someone dying, my advice would be:
go out of your way to do anything to Be There
--The most confusing point of death for me was when:
i saw what it was doing to his body
--Not that it's a regret, but I would like to have better had time to:
stay with him longer, spend more time with him
--But some things worked out so well... I'm SO GLAD I was able to:
see him before it happened
--Sometimes I think: It's just not fair...
he should not be gone
--It's sometimes so very difficult. I just wish I could
SCREAM
--When it really hit me... when I realized & acknowledged the death, I
blew up
--Regarding MEDICINE, DOCTORS, etc:
anger
--Religious Affiliation:
catholic(*past) none now
--Regarding MONEY:
it almost stoped me from being able t say good-bye
--How might you deal with yet unresolved issues from a death?:
no unresolved, we spent our last few days together loveing and
talking to eacch other
--If we were to visit one last conversation...
i would tell him i love him and that i am ok, finally, and safe
--RE: After-death visits from our loved ones:
i sometimes can feel his "awareness" or something, around me...i
expect to see him online..or hear him on the phone..or i feel him
watching over me, protective,loving...
--Regarding Rights & Wishes of the Dying:
my love wanted to die alone, i had to fight to see him, for the first
and only time, we had been trying to see each other for awhile..but
the sicker he got the more reasons he came up with..and finally he
told me he did not want me to see him that way...and i told him
that i would see him now, before it was to late or in a casket,
after it was to late..and asked im to please spend the days with
me that i would have spent at his funeral,...and in return, i did
not go when he passed, to respect his wishes, tho i felt i needed to
--Any thoughts about your own death?:
i would be trying to help my sons...
--Any Coping Ritual or Event you invented / devised to help you cope:
i send messages to his ICQ when ever things are particularly bad..it
is like sending him a note, since most of our three years together
was online or by phoe
--Any Coping Rituals or Events which have carried over into your life?
i feel better able to cope now..but still when things are really
bad...
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1st Death event occurred in my life at: Young Child
How'd I do? Adequate
What Helped me most deal with death? Zoning Out
What Hindered me most in my dealing with death? Lack of Awareness
lack of information
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Tue Jul 27 13:28:52 1999
Anonymous Guest
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Found us by: [ CrossLink from: ]
Linked from Ice Princess Web Page to Death Web Page to here.
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Recommended Reading-- Titles:
Bible
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--Death Is:
A kind of deep sleep that we go through until the time of the
resurection of the body at the end of the world. At that time Jesus
Christ will come and raise all those who are dead back to life and
there will be a divine jugdment. All those with faith in Christ
will live forever. Those without will suffer eternal fire.
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Mon Jul 26 19:16:46 1999
M30 in Slave Lake, Alberta =Canada=
Email: <Lockyer04-at-hotmail.com>
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Found us by: [ Stumbled on it ]
found you on Yahoo's listing under surveys.
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Prof/Studies: sales clerk
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Recommended Reading-- Titles:
King James Bible
Recommended Reading-- Writers:
Matthew, Mark, Luke, John, et. al.
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Most Significant Recent Death Exp was death of Uncle, 2 months ago.
Cause of Death: heart attack; Aged: 49.
--Details:
He didn't want to go to the Doctor, thought he had a Flu and
died
in his sleep, my Aunt found him hours later.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - T O P I C A L S - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
--Death Is:
the time when the body is no longer fit for human habitation
and
the essence or software is transferred to another place
for eternal
storage or is given a new body, new hardware. The friends and loved
ones express thier intense loss by crying or other ways called,
"Grieving" It is a veried length of grieving and some respond better
to it than others
sometimes resulting in a psychotic episode or
"System Crash"
--The first time I ever experienced someone's death, I
was very shocked; I couldn't believe it actually happened.
--That first time, how it happened was
How it happened was... My Grandfather had a heart attack, I was
going to visit him that day after school but had a massive heart
attack before hand.
--The Most Vivid memory I have of this most recent death is:
shaking my head and saying, "Oh Great!"
--What I think my (Canada) culture needs to better learn about death is:
support those who are there, ie. family members who may have
been disowned. Also we should celebrate the persons life instead
of fighting or getting depressed.
--One gift for which I shall always be grateful is:
my aunt Joan came from Newfoundland to Alberta for the funeral,
we got to be quite close.
--What was of most support to me in my experience with death was:
The fact that he knew God and we'd see him again in Heaven
--And the most difficult for me in my experience with death was:
Seeing my Father cry as he gave the eulogy.
--[My Uncle's] death taught me so much. I'd have others know how I:
found out how many friends you truly have and how many lives
that
you touch.
--The most confusing point of death for me was when:
They were talking about insurance claims and the like.
--Regarding Humor in the death process, I'd just say that:
I wouldn't be here on this world today if I didn't have the ability
to laugh. I have a plan to leave this existence.
--Not that it's a regret, but I would like to have better had time to:
let him teach me how to fight when he offered to.
--But some things worked out so well... I'm SO GLAD I was able to:
meet family and cheer some of them up.
--One seemingly minor thing (yet important) which impressed me was when:
they asked me to take the video of the memorial service. I hadn't
done anything like that before.
--And exactly backwards: what we didn't make a big deal of, was:
whether he was to be buried or cremated.
--I can get all teary-eyed just thinking about it all again when:
I wonder how my Aunt is doing, or I fantasize about having to spend
my life alone.
--In another dimension of Life where this all had never happened...
I would be the bearer on the Phoenix Matrix, being a Super Hero
like Green Lantern. Everyone I help, every opponent I defeat; my
parameters would increase including accumulated Lifeforce. I would
also have a Goddess named Shanna watching over me who wants to marry
me but can't until I achieve Immortality. I would occasionally get
to embrace her when I went to a secret Greek temple which housed
a rift in the space-time continuum where she could temporarily
move to this world. Whenever I die I would either be physically
reborn or do a "Quantum Leap" intoa body that has been dead for less
than a half-hour. Of course everything earlier than 16 would be a
complete wash except name, bitrhdate and what I learned in school.
I would also have the memories of
what I learned in previous
parallel earths and would be mindlinked with the main computer
of the immortals that granted me the Matrix-the Guardians of the
Multiverse.
I have been daydreaming this for years!
--Sometimes I think: It's just not fair...
He was a very young person and he was always up-beat.
--It's sometimes so very difficult. I just wish I could
Go to another Earth!
--When it really hit me... when I realized & acknowledged the death, I
Realized that it eventually happens to us all.
--Regarding MEDICINE, DOCTORS, etc:
frustration. Things aren't progressing a fast as they should.
--Regarding CHURCHES, RELIGION, etc:
A certain order and reassurance.
--Religious Affiliation:
Pentecostal Assemblies of Canada
--Regarding ONENESS of SPIRIT, etc:
like we aren't as different as we'd like to think.
--Regarding MONEY:
they had to do a lot to convince the insurance company that my
uncle was really dead.
--Regarding the FUNERAL:
there was not much crying there as if it was a secular funeral.
--The weirdest part of it all to me was:
It was so sudden.
--SOME OF THE COMMON SIGNS OF DEATH :
Becoming more philisophical.
--SOME OF THE COMMON STAGES OF GRIEF:
as you will eventually be comforted, either physically or spititually
--RE: Visions from the 'Other Side':
there were none that I know of
--RE: Near Death Experiences:
No near death experiences that I can recall but I DO have cases of
Deja Vu!
--How might you deal with yet unresolved issues from a death?:
I don't know; my parents just seem to laugh things off or turn them
into lectures when I tell them about my problems.
They are good
people mind you, but now I tend to keep things to myself.
--If we were to visit one last conversation...
I would tell him that I wish we could have spent more time together.
There's not much I can do about it but wish and say, "What If?"
--RE: After-death visits from our loved ones:
regretably no. Sorry.
--Regarding Rights & Wishes of the Dying:
Tell people how you feel about them because the may not come back
after they walk out the door.
--Any thoughts about your own death?:
I want to die fast with no pain. Not many people would grieve
for me.
--Any Coping Ritual or Event you invented / devised to help you cope:
Eating!
--Any Coping Rituals or Events which have carried over into your life?
I'm a bit more melencholy about things, I wonder how my Aunt
is doing.
--Any New Friends emerge in the shared grieving process of Death?
No, I just feel glad to know my Aunt Joan a bit more.
- - - - - P e r s o n a l H i s t o r y - - - - -
1st Death event occurred in my life at: Teen Ager
How'd I do? Adequate
What Helped me most deal with death? Religion/Clergy
My family and I felt he was in a better place and my dad said,
"It wouldn't be fair to wish him back to this world"
What Hindered me most in my dealing with death? Other:
I was alone a lot, didn't have much opportunity to talk.
--As for reaching out helping others now as part of my healing process:
That people would reach out to me. They basically stuck to their
own groups.
- - - Comments on this Questionnaire & collection GuestBook - - -
This site was/is a godsend. I feel there is someone out there
that cares about me and I feel grateful that I could think and
be creative. Thank you from the bottom of my heart!
- - - Any other questions you feel we should have asked here?
I don't think you need to know my religious affiliation.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Mon Jul 26 17:38:12 1999
F48 in Steens, Ms =USA=
Email: <yukon-at-tilc.com>
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Found us by: [ Web Search: ]
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Most Significant Recent Death Exp was death of Father, 2 yrs ago.
Cause of Death: illness; Aged: 72.
--Details:
He suffer long with emphazema. I hated to lose him but I knew he
would be much better off.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - T O P I C A L S - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
--Death Is:
the end of suffering and the beginning of joy.
--The first time I ever experienced someone's death, I
thought it scary and was unsure what happened to people who died.
--That first time, how it happened was
How it happened was I was staying with my grandmother and a friend
of hers died. I went to the funeral with her. I remember I kinda
got scared because it was thundering and lightening. I thought she
must not have been a good person because of that.
--The Most Vivid memory I have of this most recent death is:
the sense of something lost that I would never regain
--What I think my (USA) culture needs to better learn about death is:
people need time to mourn in their own way.
--One gift for which I shall always be grateful is:
my dad went so easy.
--What was of most support to me in my experience with death was:
being able to say good-bye.
--And the most difficult for me in my experience with death was:
dealing with funeral arrangements.
--Regarding just Being There for someone dying, my advice would be:
I believe the dying can hear even in the throes of death. It is
important to let your loved one know you loved them and it is okay
to let go of the world.
--The most confusing point of death for me was when:
I was not confused about it
--Regarding Humor in the death process, I'd just say that:
my dad wouldn't have had it any other way. We were remembering the
good times when we all laughed together
--Not that it's a regret, but I would like to have better had time to:
to spend more time with my dad.
--In another dimension of Life where this all had never happened...
I would definately spend more time with my dad.
--It's sometimes so very difficult. I just wish I could
just talk to him.
--When it really hit me... when I realized & acknowledged the death, I
cried at my loss.
--Regarding MEDICINE, DOCTORS, etc:
lack of compassion.
--Regarding CHURCHES, RELIGION, etc:
very little. It was much more personal.
--Religious Affiliation:
Episcopalian
--Regarding ONENESS of SPIRIT, etc:
true
--Regarding MONEY:
there was no issue. I gave my portion to my step-mother. She
needed it.
--Regarding the FUNERAL:
my dad was loved by many people. So many of them I had no idea of
how they knew him.
--The weirdest part of it all to me was:
watching the life leave his body.
--SOME OF THE COMMON SIGNS OF DEATH :
the short rasping breathing and the utter stillness of the body.
--SOME OF THE COMMON STAGES OF GRIEF:
that I had to let go of him in the physical sense but his memories
would always be with me.
--RE: Visions from the 'Other Side':
I have no knowledge of this happening with my dad.
--How might you deal with yet unresolved issues from a death?:
My dad and I had resolved all of our issues.
--Regarding Rights & Wishes of the Dying:
A will should be made and adhered to
--Any thoughts about your own death?:
I am not afraid of dying but I don't feel ready to go yet.
--Any New Friends emerge in the shared grieving process of Death?
Nope
- - - - - P e r s o n a l H i s t o r y - - - - -
1st Death event occurred in my life at: Young Child
How'd I do? Adequate
What Helped me most deal with death? My Belief System
What Hindered me most in my dealing with death? -none-
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Mon Jul 26 10:45:44 1999
F27 in Houson, TX =USA=
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Found us by: [ Web Search: ]
Via Yahoo.Com
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Most Significant Recent Death Exp was death of (Relation to You), yrs ago.
Aged:
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - T O P I C A L S - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
--Death Is:
an ending to one's life on Earth. A transition to a better place.
--The first time I ever experienced someone's death, I
was only 5 or 6 years old. Elvis Prestley died. I was devistated,
I cried and cried. I listened to his records over and over.
--That first time, how it happened was
How it happened was...my uncle died of cancer. It had spread
throughout his body -- he had several different "types."
--The Most Vivid memory I have of this most recent death is:
how much I regret not showing him (my uncle) how special I thought
he was. He was a cross between Forrest Gump and the Rainman --
a very unique individual. No one gave him the time of day --
just thought he was stupid or something.
--What I think my (USA) culture needs to better learn about death is:
Everyone deals with death in their own way. No one can say how it
"should" be dealt with, unless someone is being self-destructive,
no one should interfere.
--One gift for which I shall always be grateful is:
I'm just glad he's not hurting anymore -- I feel like he's in heaven
living a real life for the first time.
--What was of most support to me in my experience with death was:
God.
--And the most difficult for me in my experience with death was:
Waiting and watching the death happen.
- - - - - P e r s o n a l H i s t o r y - - - - -
1st Death event occurred in my life at: Young Adult
How'd I do? Well
What Helped me most deal with death? My Belief System
I was glad to know he wasn't hurting anymore.
What Hindered me most in my dealing with death? Guilt
I felt like he didn't know how special I thought he was.
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Sun Jul 25 13:21:14 1999
F33 in Petal, MS =USA=
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Found us by: [ Teacher ]
Social Science Tests
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Prof/Studies: psy major
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Recommended Reading-- Titles:
Bible
Recommended Reading-- Writers:
God
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Most Significant Recent Death Exp was death of dog, 4yrs ago.
Cause of Death: cancer; Aged: 10.
--Details:
I was divorced and Konan(the dog) was with ex-husband. Had to
be put to sleep because of tumor and I wasn't there to be with
him or see him before he was gone. I was very close to Konan.
He was like a son to me.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - T O P I C A L S - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
--Death Is:
in my belief, the beginning of another type of life.
--The first time I ever experienced someone's death, I
could not understand it. With age I think I can handle things
better now
--That first time, how it happened was
How it happened was...I don't remember details much. I was 4yrs
old and it was my grandmother. She died in the hospital from a
brain tumor. I have a sketchy memory of her and most of my memory
is from stories told of her.
--The Most Vivid memory I have of this most recent death is:
that I was not with Konan in his last moments. He must have wondered
where his mom was and why I wasn't there for him.
--What I think my (USA) culture needs to better learn about death is:
we had better be prepared for what is after death!
--One gift for which I shall always be grateful is:
it ended Konans suffering and pain.
--What was of most support to me in my experience with death was:
my daughter and us clinging to each other and always being open
and talking about our feelings concerning Konan.
--And the most difficult for me in my experience with death was:
not being there
--Regarding just Being There for someone dying, my advice would be:
for support
--The most confusing point of death for me was when:
I was told he was gone
--Regarding Humor in the death process, I'd just say that:
never happened
--Not that it's a regret, but I would like to have better had time to:
to be there and hold him til he drew his last breath
--But some things worked out so well... I'm SO GLAD I was able to:
know he didn't suffer any more
--One seemingly minor thing (yet important) which impressed me was when:
n/a
--And exactly backwards: what we didn't make a big deal of, was:
bills
--I can get all teary-eyed just thinking about it all again when:
I see his picture or another breed of dog like him(Siberian Huskey)
--In another dimension of Life where this all had never happened...
running and playing with him, loving him
--Sometimes I think: It's just not fair...
my ex should have told me or let me have some decision in the matter
--It's sometimes so very difficult. I just wish I could
not feel
--When it really hit me... when I realized & acknowledged the death, I
cried for days. Konan is always in my heart
--Regarding MEDICINE, DOCTORS, etc:
thanks
--Regarding HOSPICE etc:
n/a
--Regarding CHURCHES, RELIGION, etc:
n/a
--Religious Affiliation:
baptist
--Regarding ONENESS of SPIRIT, etc:
n/a
--Regarding MONEY:
ex payed for all
--Regarding the FUNERAL:
n/a
--The weirdest part of it all to me was:
n/a
--SOME OF THE COMMON SIGNS OF DEATH :
n/a
--Any Coping Ritual or Event you invented / devised to help you cope:
staying drunk
- - - - - P e r s o n a l H i s t o r y - - - - -
1st Death event occurred in my life at: Very Young Child
How'd I do? Adequate
What Helped me most deal with death? People's Stories, etc.
Family talked a lot of it. I am youngest of four children and
they helped
What Hindered me most in my dealing with death? Viewing the Body
don't think at that age I should have been allowed to view the body
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Sat Jul 24 19:50:15 1999
F18 in Belfast, =United Kingdom=
Email: <schnapps_2000-at-yahoo.com>
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Found us by: [ Web Search: ]
Followed links on Yahoo.
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Most Significant Recent Death Exp was death of Father, 3 weeks ago.
Cause of Death: heart attack; Aged: 69.
--Details:
I always knew he would die, as he was so much older than me . . . but
I was completely unprepared for the event. The last words I ever said
to him were "you are not going to die", and when he fell unconscious,
surrounded by paramedics, he looked so afraid . . . I couldn't
really believe it; on TV the paramedics save the victim, if he dies,
it happens in hospital, or the ambulance . . . not on the floor of
the toilet. Since then, I can only cope by trying to ignore it
all, otherwise, i just cry and scream silently. I miss him. And
he's never coming back. I can barely remember what he looks like,
and his voice is gone completely. I can't believe he's gone.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - T O P I C A L S - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
--Death Is:
the ending of things. An event in which an individual is removed
completely from existence, and all his memories and thoughts are
lost forver, "like tears in rain".
--The first time I ever experienced someone's death, I
Went to pieces, but took great pains not to "collapse" in front
of my friends or family . . . they thought I was okay after a day
or two. It was three weeks ago + . . . I'm still not remotely
okay. Completing this questionaire hurts like hell, I can only do
it by distancing myself from what happened.
--That first time, how it happened was
My father died fo a heart attack . . . myself and one of my brothers
were there, no-one else was.
--The Most Vivid memory I have of this most recent death is:
Not eating, not sleeping, and staying on the internet for 12 hour
+ bursts.
--What I think my (United Kingdom) culture needs to better learn about death is:
Nothing. I don't consider myself to be living in one "culture",
and I certainly live by my own rules, rather than what my "culture"
tells me to live by.
--One gift for which I shall always be grateful is:
How close it bbrought me to the friend online who got me though it.
--What was of most support to me in my experience with death was:
Music, which caused me great pain but helped "get it out", and that
oft-mentioend friend.
--And the most difficult for me in my experience with death was:
The sheer pain of it all. The emotional pain was like a physical
force. it still is, when I allow it in, or am too weak to fight
it away.
--Regarding just Being There for someone dying, my advice would be:
Look them in the eye. Don't say goodbye. They will soon be gone
forever; let them know you love them and that you are strong, but
don't let them give up. If they're going to go, try to help them
go out fighting.
--[My Father's] death taught me so much. I'd have others know how I:
I don't think I learned a lot. I cried a lot, I screamed a lot,
I lost a lot of weight - learned a lot? No, I don't think so.
--The most confusing point of death for me was when:
Screaming, silently, at night, while on the internet. Still happens,
it's an ongoing process.
--Regarding Humor in the death process, I'd just say that:
Never happened to me.
--Not that it's a regret, but I would like to have better had time to:
He never saw me play hockey. I should have let him come watch me,
and take photographs, but I was embarrassed of letting him down
(by losing the game) and embarraswsed of him standing with a tripod
and camera. And I should have let him photograph my newly dyed
bright red hair. And gone kite flying with him. Little things
I should have done but didn't. That I have run out of time to do now.
--But some things worked out so well... I'm SO GLAD I was able to:
Be with him when I died. And no, things did *not* go better than
I imagined.
--One seemingly minor thing (yet important) which impressed me was when:
While the paramedics decided not to go on (he was already dead
by then, IMO), I was walking round the block reciting poetry to
myself. I like that he went out to Tennyson's Ulysses - it's a
fitting exit march for my father.
--And exactly backwards: what we didn't make a big deal of, was:
replace "us" with "me" . . . Religion. My family is religious,
I'm not. I don't know if "matter" is right, my family seemed to
take comfort from the idea that they would see him again, but my
lack of religion didn't seem to be a gap for me.
--I can get all teary-eyed just thinking about it all again when:
When I think I hav it convered, and try to analyse it. Then I realise
I don't; that he is dead; that nothing can compare to the enormity
of that.
--In another dimension of Life where this all had never happened...
I can't allow myself to think like that, I'd lose my sanity all
together.
--Sometimes I think: It's just not fair...
The worst part is that it *is* fair . . . and if I had to choose
between my mother and father dying, it would be my father every
time. That hurts a lot, the fact that if I had to pick, iwould
pick him.
--It's sometimes so very difficult. I just wish I could
Sleep. Sleep, and not ever need to wake up.
--When it really hit me... when I realized & acknowledged the death, I
cried. I don't think anything else conveys that meaning.
--Regarding MEDICINE, DOCTORS, etc:
No opinion - they did their best, no more, no less.
--Regarding HOSPICE etc:
Not applicable to me.
--Regarding CHURCHES, RELIGION, etc:
A lot to my father and the rest of my family, but nothing to
me. They believed they would meet again - I don't. But when my
father was dying, I could see such fear in his eyes, and I thought
he wasn't sure . . . although I hope so much my family is right,
and that they will meet again.
--Religious Affiliation:
Agnostic. Family are Christian.
--Regarding ONENESS of SPIRIT, etc:
Death is universal. All things must die; it's the dricing force
that keeps u alive, even though it, quite frankly, hurts like
fuck. Nothing's the same after experianceing it for the first time;
a little piece of me (large piece) is now dead, and can never come
back. Death is a common denominator. Nothing is more sure than
the fact that all will end.
--Regarding MONEY:
Heh, now my dad is dead, I think I'm officially destitute. That's
my new catchphrase ~smile~
--Regarding the FUNERAL:
So many people knew him and respected him . . . he was a real
*somebody*. That made me incredibly proud, yet very sad that I
didn't know them before he died. I also got myself smiling when I
realised that the few people I knew I'd met at a wedding, and my life
was turning into Hugh Grant's. The most touching moment was when
I realised one fo my teachers had come. It was totally unexpected
(I'd asked my friends not to come), and it meant a great deal to me.
--The weirdest part of it all to me was:
I sat a "vigil" with the body for a while, Klingon style (no,
really). I recited his body some poetry, Tennyson mainly. It helped
me a lot - cleansing through pain, as it were. At one point
I forgot what colour his eyes were. I thought green, but when I
opened them, they were dark brown, just like mine. That hurt.
--SOME OF THE COMMON SIGNS OF DEATH :
He was tired the day before and the day he died. And he looked very
small - very short, and very old. However, I heard that people
who died from his specific type of eart attack can't usually be
helped even in hospital, so I don't feel llike I let him down by
not getting him medical help. I never expected him to die -
he was meant to live for years more . . .
--SOME OF THE COMMON STAGES OF GRIEF:
The hardest time was after I came back from my week away. He died,
one or two weeks at home, then a week away. When I got back,
it almost felt like it never happened - like he had never even
lived. It was very hard to cry on people's shoulders after that -
I felt like I was a burden, like I was expected to to all right
again, back to my old self. That old self is gone now.
--RE: Visions from the 'Other Side':
It didn't happen - although my mother believes there was an angel
on the plane to and from England (where she was when he died). She
spoke to him a lot. I could believe we were being watched -
even though I don't "believe", per se.
--RE: Near Death Experiences:
Bah, not at all.
--How might you deal with yet unresolved issues from a death?:
In order to answer that, I'd need to think in depth about my father -
I can't do that, it hurts too much.
--If we were to visit one last conversation...
I don't know if it would. Of course, part of me would feel like
a traitor if I recover.
--RE: After-death visits from our loved ones:
Hasn't happened.
--Regarding Rights & Wishes of the Dying:
I'm with the dying, always. Its they who die; it should be up
to them. I could talk about organ donation (all for it), and
euthanasia (very complicated) but I have done so for a long, long
time, and it bores me now. Sorry ~smile~.
--Any thoughts about your own death?:
It doesn't concern me. If when I die I am "over", nothing will be
of importance to me . . . if I "continue", then I will miss everyone
. . .
--Any Coping Ritual or Event you invented / devised to help you cope:
Heh, closure? I don't have it; I'm not even sure if I want it. I
don't want to forget, you see.
--Any Coping Rituals or Events which have carried over into your life?
I'm still in the immediate stages of grief - I can't really answer
that yet.
--Any New Friends emerge in the shared grieving process of Death?
Yes - I've become closer to one specific person. However, I
am very far apart from the people I used to be close to (family
inculded). They don't understand that I am not the "old me" any more.
- - - - - P e r s o n a l H i s t o r y - - - - -
1st Death event occurred in my life at: Teen Ager
How'd I do? Very Difficult
What Helped me most deal with death? Friends' Sensitivities
One particular friend from the internet kept me sane, without him,
I do not know how I would have coped.
What Hindered me most in my dealing with death? Ability to Forget
heh, I'm not done dealing with it yet, though I always thought
I understood about it . . . forgetting scares me, and upsets me
*a lot*.
--As for reaching out helping others now as part of my healing process:
I didn't reach out - and one of the most helpful things owuld have
been if RL friends hadn't told me ot was "okay". Them trying to
avoid the issue did *not* help at all.
- - - Comments on this Questionnaire & collection GuestBook - - -
It was very useful, but painful. Got me crying again - I think
that's good, in a way.
- - - Any other questions you feel we should have asked here?
Nothing I can think of.
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Fri Jul 23 01:55:38 1999
F59 in scottsdale, arizona =usa=
Email: <shenahn-at-aol.com>
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Found us by: [ Email Message ]
Prof/Studies: psychology
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Most Significant Recent Death Exp was death of Son, 21yrs ago.
Cause of Death: aircraft wreck; Aged: 14.
--Details:
he died with his father. they left against my wishes. i had a
premonition that they would not return alive
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - T O P I C A L S - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
--Death Is:
the passing over and the rebirth into another life
--The first time I ever experienced someone's death, I
was a young child. my grandmother passed over in the apartment that i
was living in at the time. after she was removed, that evening as i
gazed out the window in to the night sky, a cloud appeared and slowly
thinned out. her face appeared to me and she smiled reassuringly
at me. this was very comforting. i believe i was 7 at the time.
--That first time, how it happened was
How it happened was...grandmother passed over in apartment that i
was residing in.
--The Most Vivid memory I have of this most recent death is:
lack of closure and kept waiting for the doorbell to ring. and
husband and son would appear back from trip
--What I think my (usa) culture needs to better learn about death is:
reincarnation
--One gift for which I shall always be grateful is:
the marriage to my husband and the beautiful son we produced. the
joy of having my son in my life for 14 years.
--What was of most support to me in my experience with death was:
a grief counselor from a church.
--And the most difficult for me in my experience with death was:
lack of closure as they were incinerated
--Regarding just Being There for someone dying, my advice would be:
constantly stroke them emotionally and physically and most
importantly, tell them how much you love them and how happy that
they were in your life.
--[My --specify--'s] death taught me so much. I'd have others know how I:
son and husband. take one at a time and live for the moment,
as it passes very quickly
--The most confusing point of death for me was when:
accepting reality as i was unable to see their final remains
--Regarding Humor in the death process, I'd just say that:
i laughed at some of the antics that when on in the house from
my son and husband to show me that they were doing fine in their
new surroundings
--Not that it's a regret, but I would like to have better had time to:
how much i loved them and to see their faces light up with happiness
at the sound of my words
--But some things worked out so well... I'm SO GLAD I was able to:
not act on my thoughts of suicide and stick around to raise my
other 2 children
--I can get all teary-eyed just thinking about it all again when:
i amwriting my thesis on when a child dies. just reading the
material has put me over the edge several times
--In another dimension of Life where this all had never happened...
when i do soul travel, i like to believe that i hook up with their
engergies and we communicate. we are a multi dimensional society
--Sometimes I think: It's just not fair...
that a healthy child should have to die
--When it really hit me... when I realized & acknowledged the death, I
i realized the reality that i had outlived my dear son, and it is
supposed to be the other way around.
--Regarding CHURCHES, RELIGION, etc:
nothing i got absolutely nothing out of going to services.
--Religious Affiliation:
jewish
--Regarding ONENESS of SPIRIT, etc:
it is a return to energy form.
--Regarding the FUNERAL:
i wanted to be alone . they came in droves to the house to wish
me well. i wanted to be with my thoughts and i was feeling as if
i was being suffocated alive
--The weirdest part of it all to me was:
feeling their presence around me
--RE: Visions from the 'Other Side':
i am involved in hospice and noticed the glassy expressions on
those on the brink of passing over. they will glaze to the side of
the room and a smile will plastered on their faces.
--How might you deal with yet unresolved issues from a death?:
yes there are issues. i never had an opportunity to say i love
you or to say goodbye. i have tried the letter writing, but it
never worked. i have guilt that i could not change their minds
regarding the trip.
--If we were to visit one last conversation...
i would have loved to tell them how much i love them and how
grateful i am to have had them in my life. i need the reassurance
of knowing that they were aware of how intense my love was for them.
i did not say it enough when they were alive and i feel guilty
--RE: After-death visits from our loved ones:
i was in recovering room in hosp. was waiting to hear if tumor
removed was cancerous. saw husband and son walking to me holding
hands. they appeared to be the same age that i last saw them.
husband said that there was no need to worry, that there was no
cancer and i would fully recover. they turned around and walked
away. i started screaming, "don't go, don't leave me again." husband
turned and said "they needed to go." i said, "please i want to
go with you, " his response was that it was not time and they
disappeared.
--Any thoughts about your own death?:
death is not an ending, it is a beginning. i would feel sad leaving
my 2 children on this plane.
--Any Coping Ritual or Event you invented / devised to help you cope:
honestly, there is still a lack of closure as i nver viewed any
remains.
--Any Coping Rituals or Events which have carried over into your life?
i have changed drastically. i do not expend energy on things that
are not in my power to change.
--Any New Friends emerge in the shared grieving process of Death?
as i evolve, some of the people in my life fall by the wayside.
i prefer to keep up with those who are on my wave length, as the
compatiabilty level is higher.
- - - - - P e r s o n a l H i s t o r y - - - - -
1st Death event occurred in my life at: Very Young Child
How'd I do? Well
What Helped me most deal with death? Other:
What Hindered me most in my dealing with death? Silence & Taboos
--As for reaching out helping others now as part of my healing process:
i am a hospice worker and presently working on completely my degree.
i will be a grief counselor
- - - Comments on this Questionnaire & collection GuestBook - - -
this came at a delicate time, as i mentioned before the subject of
my thesis is the death of a child. i am a little raw inside, so
it was quite easy to answer several of your questions. my feelings
are being worn on my sleeve at this time.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Thu Jul 22 22:57:16 1999
Anonymous Guest
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Most Significant Recent Death Exp was death of friend, 5 yrs ago.
Cause of Death: siesure and drowned in pool.; Aged: 9.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - T O P I C A L S - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
--Death Is:
becoming something we don't see anymore
--The first time I ever experienced someone's death, I
cried
--That first time, how it happened was
How it happened was...my grandfather had a heart attact and died
a week before my 5th birthday
--The Most Vivid memory I have of this most recent death is:
I cried my eyes out and we got back to school and had a ceromny at
school and putting flowers in a vase for his family. I remember
going to the wake and sitting with my mother and I remember one
of his friends got up and said some words - she was the only one
that did
--One gift for which I shall always be grateful is:
that the person who has died is finally in peace because of his
illness.
--What was of most support to me in my experience with death was:
writing helped me in dealing with death
--Regarding just Being There for someone dying, my advice would be:
just listen to them
--Not that it's a regret, but I would like to have better had time to:
to forgive him for doing something
--One seemingly minor thing (yet important) which impressed me was when:
people just sat around and talked about the person.
--Sometimes I think: It's just not fair...
that I didn't get to say goodbye
--When it really hit me... when I realized & acknowledged the death, I
I balled my eyes out
- - - - - P e r s o n a l H i s t o r y - - - - -
1st Death event occurred in my life at: Very Young Child
How'd I do? Very Well
What Helped me most deal with death? Family's Sensitivities
being too young and not totally understanding
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Wed Jul 21 13:01:03 1999
F26 in houston, tx =usa=
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Found us by: [ Web Search: ]
Prof/Studies: psychology
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Recommended Reading-- Titles:
conversations with God , bhagavad gita, egyptian bookof the dead
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Most Significant Recent Death Exp was death of Friend, 4 yrs ago.
Cause of Death: suicide; Aged: ~ 47.
--Details:
blew his brains out
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - T O P I C A L S - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
--Death Is:
the end of physical existence as others know you to be, where your
body moves no longer, and your personality ceases to be expressed
physically. The body decays into its most basic components and
becomes part of the earth. We don't know exactly what happens to
the person that expressed itself through that body but there are
many beliefs of where that person may go. Many cultures deals with
death differently, some feel much pain as if when you have lost
something you terribly enjoyed and are not able to enjoy any longer,
others see it as just the passing away into another formand another
plane of existence as when you sleep and dream and other's see it
a sthe time when you are judged by an entity greater than everone
else on your actions while you lived in that body, others believe
you just cease to exist and go nowhere, others believe you become
part of everything as when mist dissipates into the air.
--The first time I ever experienced someone's death, I
felt a loss. I felt that I didn't want their existaence around me
to cease.
--That first time, how it happened was
How it happened was... a friend of the family comitted suicide
after several years of dealing with emotional issues that perhaps
were psychologycal and /or chemically dependent by way of nature.
--The Most Vivid memory I have of this most recent death is:
pity. For he ended his life since he was in so much pain and wasn't
able to cope with it, but I also felt relief because now it perhaps
could have some time off his bodily influences where perhaps he
could relfect upon what he wasn't able to deal with onthis plane
of existence.
--What I think my (usa) culture needs to better learn about death is:
it's not a bad thing, it's a natural process, and that dying with
dignity or anytime is a choice.
--One gift for which I shall always be grateful is:
that I was able to speak to that soul in my dreams and say see
you later
--What was of most support to me in my experience with death was:
thinking about it and not being selfish about how it hurt me but
how it just happened
--And the most difficult for me in my experience with death was:
no one was able to help him and that he gave up on himself.
--Regarding just Being There for someone dying, my advice would be:
don't make them feel as if they cannot go, be happy and accepting
and make your peace
--[My Friend's] death taught me so much. I'd have others know how I:
decided not to get lost in my grief
--The most confusing point of death for me was when:
i didn't get to say bye
--Not that it's a regret, but I would like to have better had time to:
thank him for all the pleasant things he did wand what he meant to me
--But some things worked out so well... I'm SO GLAD I was able to:
be there for others because I didn't grieve the eway they did
--And exactly backwards: what we didn't make a big deal of, was:
the religious ritual of deathf or the dead
--When it really hit me... when I realized & acknowledged the death, I
try to just let it go
- - - - - P e r s o n a l H i s t o r y - - - - -
1st Death event occurred in my life at: Young Adult
How'd I do? Well
What Helped me most deal with death? My Belief System
What Hindered me most in my dealing with death? Lack of Awareness
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Tue Jul 20 00:34:55 1999
F16 in Ocean County, New JOi!sey =US of A=
Name: Mel
Email: <XxAntiSocX-at-Aol.com>
Web: http://Members.aol.com/XxAntiSocX/main.html
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Found us by: [ Web Search: ]
Yahoo.com
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Prof/Studies: Imaging Technician at Alternative Micrographics and soon to be a
highschool drop-in
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More personal info:
Traditional skinhead (non racist), big punk/Oi! music fan, guitar
player, drunk, wierdo.
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Recommended Reading-- Titles:
The Faces of Death and Traces of Death ((It makes you immune to
the blood and gore part of dealing with everything but I wouldn't
condone going out and buying or renting it unless you're over 18
and don't mind seeing stuff that might rouse up a lot more inside
you than you're stomache.
Recommended Reading-- Writers:
various
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Most Significant Recent Death Exp was death of Mother, 2 months ago.
Cause of Death: murder; Aged: 16.
--Details:
Derrick LeCompte came into the thrift shop they owned and stabbed
her while she tried to leave, he left in her car with stuff he stole
and came back and stabbed her more. This went on for almost 2 hours
while she was still alive. By the grace of god, the video-tape of it
was found by a homeless man and turned into the police along with
the knife. The police made a definate on who he was and caught him
at the mall the next day.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - T O P I C A L S - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
--Death Is:
Death is when all major organs in you're body cease to function
and you're body begins to decompose.
--The first time I ever experienced someone's death, I
called my best friend and cried for the first and only time since. He
slept over and I took a 2 week leave from work and listened to music,
drank, hit things, and smoked up. I smoked about 2 and a half packs
of cigarettes a day and didn't sleep at all. The funeral came and
went, but I still am violent and I'm probably ruining my hearing
listening to music and playing it so loud.
--That first time, how it happened was
My mother got stabbed 30 times in the heart and lungs while some
jackass robbed the store she owned.
--The Most Vivid memory I have of this most recent death is:
everyone going around and hugging me and telling me how sorry they
were. That got me really pissed. and it was even worse at the veiwing
so I hibrenated with a few friends donwstairs in the smoking lounge
on the couches and talked about everything we could think of.
--What I think my (US of A) culture needs to better learn about death is:
Well, if you consider being a skinhead a culture (Not RACIST!) or
if you mean my German/Italian bloodline? Well, either way, we're
still both way to full of violence and anger.
--One gift for which I shall always be grateful is:
Being able to see my family and some old friends of ours that I
haven't seen in between 4 and 16 years. It really brought us back
together for once, and it's gone now, but it was nice.
--What was of most support to me in my experience with death was:
Definately Oi! and Punk music. The bands I listen to give the message
of hold up your head and having pride in yourself and what you do.
The music, to me at least, can calm me down big-time. Most people
consider it to be loud and obnoxious, but it's more than that to
people, it's therapy to me. And the feeling of being able to go
into a pit at a concert and just release all your energy and your
stress and just let loose, punch kick elbow and dance.. it's so nice.
--And the most difficult for me in my experience with death was:
Dealing with the empty space thats left after someone that close
dies. A lot of it was feeling uninformed on the murder's case,
and murder itself, and everything surrounding it.
--Regarding Humor in the death process, I'd just say that:
I felt so good. At the viewing my close friend Jess asked if it
would be out of place to tell me mom a joke that she thought she
would have loved if she was around to hear it. I told her to go
ahead, so she went up to the casket and said, "Hey mom, whats
a lesbian with a hard on?" and stuck out her tongue. That was
pretty funny right there, but then everyone came back down into the
smoking lounge where we were and jumped on her back. They thought
she was mocking her death and sticking out her tongue as if saying,
"Nyah Nyah, you're dead and I'm not". But she was just trying to
tell a joke about lesbians. I was cracking up about that one.
--Not that it's a regret, but I would like to have better had time to:
say goodbye.
--But some things worked out so well... I'm SO GLAD I was able to:
keep myself functioning and able to still do everything I used to,
plus everything I do now that my mom is gone.
--One seemingly minor thing (yet important) which impressed me was when:
I took a look around and went outside to listen to music away from
everyone except my best friends. My friends are family to me,
and I'm glad they were so enduring and put up with me (without
earplugs). Not many people would consider thanking there friends
before everything else, but I love my crew.
--And exactly backwards: what we didn't make a big deal of, was:
hugging, kissing, and crying. I didn't want to be near anyone at all,
and everyone asking me 'if I need anything to call' and telling me
they're 'sorry' didn't help at all. I just wanted to drink a few
brewski's, listen to loud music and beat on things/people.
--I can get all teary-eyed just thinking about it all again when:
I think I've got some mental block about being upset over death or
suicides. All that happenens is that I get angry and black-out.
That happens most often when I'm alone walking the streets in
my city.
--In another dimension of Life where this all had never happened...
Well, for one, I wouldn't be going back to highschool that I dropped
out of a year ago. I didn't want to be a failure because thats what
Mom died seeing me do. I'd probably still be a smart-ass and be
mooching off them for money and cigs and bitching when she wouldn't
let me get myself into a lot of dangerous situations. It certainly
wouldn't be a paradise, but I'd rather have her with me.
--Sometimes I think: It's just not fair...
I remember thinking that it's not fair that my mom died and I was
angry and everyone and angry at god for it. Then I realized that
she had a great and full life and that it's not god's fault and
that I was angry at all the wrong people.
--It's sometimes so very difficult. I just wish I could
either crawl up and sleep for weeks or wish I could make it the
weekend so I could go to a punk show and release my anger in a pit
and to other people
--Regarding MEDICINE, DOCTORS, etc:
hatred. The medical community won't even terminate her hospital
bill from when the coroner pronouced her dead after they found her
face-down in blood at the store she worked at
--Regarding CHURCHES, RELIGION, etc:
nothing at all, I was completely agnostic before everything.. but I
find myself looking to god a lot more. I think I just don't want to
turn into one of those people that do nothing but hand you pamphlets
at the mall and preach about 'Him' being a 'savior'.
--Religious Affiliation:
Right now, I don't consider myself as being religious.. I turn to
god sometimes, but for the most part some loud violent music and
actions and a few beers is all I turn to. Before Mom's death I
was the same, only I never thought of god at all and I was a bit
less aggressive (aggro)
--Regarding ONENESS of SPIRIT, etc:
It sounds right to me.. I'm no psychic or anything, but I think
a lot of you're thoughts about life and death are influenced by
organized religion. If you're christian or whatever, then go to
heavan and be happy, if you're satanist, then go be in the devils
army, whatever floats you're boat. I'm not a very spiritual person,
but I do believe in ghosts and the like.
--Regarding MONEY:
we'd better find some fast or we'd be homeless and starving.
--Regarding the FUNERAL:
it was wierd seeing people that hadn't cared about us for years
crying.
--The weirdest part of it all to me was:
zoning out at times.. kind of like when you doze off, only you're
not sleeping.. then when you realize you zoned out it's like being
startled awake.
--SOME OF THE COMMON SIGNS OF DEATH :
Be careful at the viewing! Sometimes bodies move, burp, twitch or
can even sit up! Don't let it scare you!
--RE: Visions from the 'Other Side':
Friends of my mom, and my living father said she came to them,
but I haven't seen anyhting wierd
--How might you deal with yet unresolved issues from a death?:
I have to prove to myself that I'm not as big as a failure as I
was when my mom died, so i'm going back to highschool.
--If we were to visit one last conversation...
I'd like to have the oppurtunity to tell her goodbye.. I never had
that chance because no one expects their mother to be murdered I
suppose. That would probably let me sleep a little easier at night
--RE: After-death visits from our loved ones:
I saw my mother in a dream I had after a night I didn't even think
about her murder that much. It was her standing on a street by a
bridge by my house, then I saw a reflector, a fence and a dead dog
and some water which had no bearing on anything and woke up.
--Regarding Rights & Wishes of the Dying:
I want people not to cry, hug or kiss at my funeral. I don't want
people to talk about god and play loving music. I don't want pink
or bright flowers either. All I ask for is a whole in the ground,
good music, my guitar with me, and for people to remember me for
what I am and not make me out to be perfect or an angel.
--Any thoughts about your own death?:
One thing I'd like to say is that I'm not afraid of dying, I invite
it at times. I'm afraid of the pain associated with it, not actually
dying. I don't expect to live past my 20's. I drink, act reckless,
drive bad and do drugs now, so there's not much else to do in life
except bills and love if you're lucky. Live fast and die young is
my strategy
--Any Coping Ritual or Event you invented / devised to help you cope:
MUSIC! Music and being able to release stress and let loose in a
pit and just go wild and not care.
--Any Coping Rituals or Events which have carried over into your life?
I got to concerts and hop in pits every oppurtunity I get, and I
drink too much beer.
--Any New Friends emerge in the shared grieving process of Death?
me and my friends that I was close to before my mothers death have
become much closer. I consider them to be my family. I love them
more than life itself.
- - - - - P e r s o n a l H i s t o r y - - - - -
1st Death event occurred in my life at: Teen Ager
How'd I do? A bit rough
What Helped me most deal with death? Friends' Sensitivities
Music, alchohol, blacking out, punk music and being able to release
a lot in the pits.
What Hindered me most in my dealing with death? Illicit Drugs
I smoked up a few times and had real bad experiences.
--As for reaching out helping others now as part of my healing process:
I think that my being so strong (numb) with everything helped my
father out a lot.
- - - Comments on this Questionnaire & collection GuestBook - - -
It's nice to talk about it without having to fear being critisized,
preached at, or hugged. It's nice not to have to hear, "I'm sorry"
- - - Any other questions you feel we should have asked here?
I think you aught to add something about how the reactions of other
people towards you made you feel, and if you thought something at
the veiwing of funeral was wrong.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Mon Jul 19 15:55:31 1999
M24 in Bucyrus, Kansas =USA=
Name: Tony Kerr
Email: <Kerrbop-at-Hotmail.com>
Web: none
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Found us by: [ Web Search: ]
www.yahoo.com
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Prof/Studies: Sales
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Most Significant Recent Death Exp was death of GrandMother, 7 ago.
Cause of Death: emphizema; Aged: 56.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - T O P I C A L S - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
--Death Is:
Death is a part of the cycle of life. We are born, live life, die
and come back as something or someone else at another time and place.
--The first time I ever experienced someone's death, I
Cried.
--That first time, how it happened was
My Grandmother died when I was in Colorado.
--The Most Vivid memory I have of this most recent death is:
How relieved everyone seemed.
--What I think my (USA) culture needs to better learn about death is:
It must happen.
--One gift for which I shall always be grateful is:
That that person died and is in no more pain.
--What was of most support to me in my experience with death was:
My parents.
--And the most difficult for me in my experience with death was:
That she was gone.
--Regarding just Being There for someone dying, my advice would be:
Just the sight of your face may be comfort enough.
--[My GrandMother's] death taught me so much. I'd have others know how I:
Look forward to the day I die.
--The most confusing point of death for me was when:
When they buried her.
--Regarding Humor in the death process, I'd just say that:
I did not laugh at all.
--Not that it's a regret, but I would like to have better had time to:
Have visite her more often.
--But some things worked out so well... I'm SO GLAD I was able to:
See her again.
--One seemingly minor thing (yet important) which impressed me was when:
Their ablity to persevere.
--And exactly backwards: what we didn't make a big deal of, was:
That she has died and is moving on to something better.
--I can get all teary-eyed just thinking about it all again when:
I remember her.
--In another dimension of Life where this all had never happened...
A little less depressed.
--Sometimes I think: It's just not fair...
Why couldn't I have been there when she died.
--It's sometimes so very difficult. I just wish I could
Die. So that I could join her.
--When it really hit me... when I realized & acknowledged the death, I
Started crying.
--Regarding MEDICINE, DOCTORS, etc:
Contentness.
--Regarding HOSPICE etc:
Positive
--Regarding CHURCHES, RELIGION, etc:
Not alot.
--Religious Affiliation:
current-none/ past-Catholic
--Regarding ONENESS of SPIRIT, etc:
That the spirit moves from body to body through death.
--Regarding MONEY:
That it all worked out.
--Regarding the FUNERAL:
How many people came.
--The weirdest part of it all to me was:
When she was buried.
--SOME OF THE COMMON SIGNS OF DEATH :
Age.
--SOME OF THE COMMON STAGES OF GRIEF:
Death is a phase.
--RE: Visions from the 'Other Side':
That she was sick and ready to go.
--How might you deal with yet unresolved issues from a death?:
None.
--If we were to visit one last conversation...
My parents.
--RE: After-death visits from our loved ones:
My Grandmother often appears to me in my dreams and comforts me
during my troubled times.
--Regarding Rights & Wishes of the Dying:
The final plan of action.
--Any thoughts about your own death?:
Finally! I'm dead. Time to move on.
--Any Coping Ritual or Event you invented / devised to help you cope:
Laying down with candles and incense and medatative music.
--Any Coping Rituals or Events which have carried over into your life?
I have learned that death is only a phase to the next life we
will live.
--Any New Friends emerge in the shared grieving process of Death?
None.
- - - - - P e r s o n a l H i s t o r y - - - - -
1st Death event occurred in my life at: Teen Ager
How'd I do? Very Difficult
What Helped me most deal with death? Family's Sensitivities
What Hindered me most in my dealing with death? Viewing the Body
--As for reaching out helping others now as part of my healing process:
My sister. We went out and bonded shortly after the funeral.
- - - Comments on this Questionnaire & collection GuestBook - - -
It's too long.
- - - Any other questions you feel we should have asked here?
Condence it a little.
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Thu Jul 15 21:33:48 1999
F22 in South Pasadena, CA =USA=
Name: Nicole
Email: <sunflowernik-at-earthlink.net>
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Found us by: [ Web Search: ]
Prof/Studies: Student
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Most Significant Recent Death Exp was death of relative, 1 month ago.
Cause of Death: cancer; Aged: 65.
--Details:
Actually, he was my godfather and he was battling with cancer for
a year and a half before he finally died last month. This is the
closest I've come to experiencing death because not only was it so
recent but also because I watched him deteriorate and lose everything
that he had. My godfather and I weren't that close but when he
got sick I suppose it brought us closer together. Sad but true.
Then when he died last month, even though I was half way around
the world, I felt intense sadness.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - T O P I C A L S - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
--Death Is:
something we all go through. Our lives end unexpectedly or with
a sickness. It is an inevitable thing we cannot stop or avoid.
we have no choice or say. Most humans try to believe that there is
life after death (if they are religious). If not they just handle
it on their own or try to compose an image of death they believe
to be true.
--The first time I ever experienced someone's death, I
didn't know what really happened as I was quite young. I knew that
person would not come back anymore.
--That first time, how it happened was
How it happened was...a priest was sick with caner and my mother and
I often visited him in the hospital. On one occasion we walked him
on him dying and my Mom tried to shield me away from the sight of
it since I was quite young. She didn't want me to see something
so sad at a young age but I did see the priest dying and gasping
for breath. There was another priest in the room whsipering prayers.
--The Most Vivid memory I have of this most recent death is:
when am I going to die? How am I going to die? Then I got scared
of my parents and my boyfriend dying. In fact, I sometimes have
dreams where my father dies.
--What I think my (USA) culture needs to better learn about death is:
that it is something we should talk more about. Being Chinese,
the topic of death is a bit taboo. We try not to mention it or
think morbidly, However, I think it is healthier to address fears
or topics of apprehension. One way to deal with a fear is always
to talk about it and find support from others.
--What was of most support to me in my experience with death was:
comfort and support of those close to me such as my parents and
boyfriend. I think my fear of death is unusual for someone this
young but I am still in control of it.
--And the most difficult for me in my experience with death was:
to see that person slowly slip away from me. Now all I have are
memories and I can never see that person again.
--Regarding just Being There for someone dying, my advice would be:
to not avoid body contact or show your fear to them. I am sure
they're scared enough. Don't make them feel as if they are dying.
Be there for a dying person by talking to them when they need
or just providing any support they need. Sometimes I just bring
food or books for them to read or little things to cheer them up.
I never mention anything about dying unless they want to talk.
--[My relative's] death taught me so much. I'd have others know how I:
wrote a poem for him afterwards to be read at the funeral. That also
helped me get my feelings out.
--The most confusing point of death for me was when:
someone is actually dying. The moment they are laving the world
seems strange to me.
--Not that it's a regret, but I would like to have better had time to:
say more to my godfather. Tell him how much we all care for him
and what a wonderful godfather he was to me.
--But some things worked out so well... I'm SO GLAD I was able to:
have more time with my Dad. He had a stroke during Thanksgiving
of 1998 and that made me realize how important he was to me and
how I couldn't live without him or my Mom. I am thankful for
all they have done for me and provided me with. All the love and
support and understanding they had. I am just thankful to have
such wonderful parents. I never want to lose them.
--When it really hit me... when I realized & acknowledged the death, I
became very scared. I wanted to treasure everyone around me
especially my parents. Even now I try to spend as much time with
my parents as I can and to make them happy in any way possible.
- - - - - P e r s o n a l H i s t o r y - - - - -
1st Death event occurred in my life at: Pre-Teen
How'd I do? Well
What Helped me most deal with death? Disbelief it could happen
What Hindered me most in my dealing with death? Fear of Death
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Thu Jul 15 14:26:31 1999
F27 in Kalamazoo, Mi =USA=
Email: <Beffiet-at-AOL.com>
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Found us by: [ Web Search: ]
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Most Significant Recent Death Exp was death of Father, 2 months ago.
Cause of Death: lung cancer; Aged: 63.
--Details:
This was definately the most painful experience of my life. My
dad was my best friend, my touchstone. We were unusually close. My
mom has alzheimers and he needed someone to talk to and I needed
a parent - I'm only in my mid 20's. I took care of him untill he
died. I was with him at the moment of his death. I miss him terribly.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - T O P I C A L S - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
--Death Is:
A loss of a contact that helps us to further connect with ourselves
--The first time I ever experienced someone's death, I
didn't deal with it well
--That first time, how it happened was
How it happened was...I had know distant relative that died. Even
my gradparents who I didn't know very well. But when I was about
20 my horse died - he was probably my greatest companion
--The Most Vivid memory I have of this most recent death is:
The pain lasting for longer than I expected. The actual moment of
death was peaceful. The week after that was a little chaotic. But
now I'm so sad and nothing happens to change it.
--What I think my (USA) culture needs to better learn about death is:
People who have lost someone don't tend to begin greiving for at
least a month. The first year is the hardest. Grievers don't need
your sympathies at the funeral when they are still numb - they need
it later. And they don't want to hear how well they look or how
proud you are of how they are doing- this just adds to the pressure
--One gift for which I shall always be grateful is:
I shared more with my dad because I knew he was dying than most
people ever share with thier parents
--What was of most support to me in my experience with death was:
Solitude and prayer
--And the most difficult for me in my experience with death was:
the feeling of the lack of unconditional love
--Regarding just Being There for someone dying, my advice would be:
Ask them what they want and then believe them. It may seem hard
to do what a dying person wants, for example funeral planning or
ceasing in cheer up efforts. But they are still your loved one. do
it for them - that's what it's all about
--[My Father's] death taught me so much. I'd have others know how I:
learned from his dying, grew closer to him than I dreamed possible
and ignored the world when they thought I was making bad choices
in giving up some of my live to be with my dad
--The most confusing point of death for me was when:
He was so sick that he could barely breath and had tears in his
eyes. I couldn't bear to lose him, yet I couldn't bear for him to
suffer anymore.
--Regarding Humor in the death process, I'd just say that:
Strong emotions are strong emotions whether they are happy or
sad. you will feel them both
--Not that it's a regret, but I would like to have better had time to:
Ask my dad how he would want me to deal with his death - and also
how to do that
--But some things worked out so well... I'm SO GLAD I was able to:
Be with him until the final minute
--One seemingly minor thing (yet important) which impressed me was when:
I spent about two weeks feeling like I was watching a movie about
the death of my dad
--And exactly backwards: what we didn't make a big deal of, was:
People dropping off food and doing other nice gestures right after
his death - we were just in shock
- - - - - P e r s o n a l H i s t o r y - - - - -
1st Death event occurred in my life at: Young Adult
How'd I do? How well
What Helped me most deal with death? Friends' Sensitivities
What Hindered me most in my dealing with death? Crying and Crying
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Wed Jul 14 20:03:51 1999
F22 in Columbus, Nebraska =USA=
Name: Ruth Breaker
Email: <lady_katarina77-at-yahoo.com>
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Found us by: [ Web Search: ]
Just surfing the net
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Prof/Studies: homemaker
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Most Significant Recent Death Exp was death of Mother, 2 yrs ago.
Cause of Death: Heart Attack; Aged: 46.
--Details:
She was an alcoholic and she had a bad heart.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - T O P I C A L S - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
--Death Is:
When someone leaves and never comes back. Thier body quits we
bury them in the ground and never get to see them, talk to them,
or hold them ever again.
--The first time I ever experienced someone's death, I
Was in the middle of my 4th birthday party. The phone rang and
my grandma came in the room and told everyone that my Aunt died.
We went to Kansas to bury her. I couldn't understand why I would
never see her again.
--That first time, how it happened was
How it happened was...My aunt who I was very close to died on my
4th birthday from complications of Diabetes
--The Most Vivid memory I have of this most recent death is:
The fact that everyone thought that I was the strong the one of the
family but this time it is everyone else who has had to be strong
for me.
--What I think my (USA) culture needs to better learn about death is:
The fact that it hurts and it isn't something that I can just
get over.
--One gift for which I shall always be grateful is:
That my grandma didn't have to suffer anymore. She had bone cancer
and was in a lot of pain.
--What was of most support to me in my experience with death was:
Being able to talk to my family and friends and having them be a
shoulder for me to cry on.
--And the most difficult for me in my experience with death was:
The fact that I would never see them again and in most cases the
fact that I never got to say good bye or tell them that I love them.
--Not that it's a regret, but I would like to have better had time to:
Make things right between me and my mother before she died.
The last time I saw her I was angry at her.
--But some things worked out so well... I'm SO GLAD I was able to:
See my mom one more time before she died.
--One seemingly minor thing (yet important) which impressed me was when:
Carrying my mother's ashes to the place where we were going to
spread them. I felt like it was my turn to carry her after she
had carried me all those years as a child.
--And exactly backwards: what we didn't make a big deal of, was:
Meking sure the funeral is perfect.
--I can get all teary-eyed just thinking about it all again when:
I first heard of her death.
--In another dimension of Life where this all had never happened...
I would be a better daughter and I would tell her how much I love
her everyday.
--Sometimes I think: It's just not fair...
Because I still need my mother here!
--It's sometimes so very difficult. I just wish I could
Go to where she is if a place exsists so that I don't have to be
without her anymore.
--When it really hit me... when I realized & acknowledged the death, I
I never really have found a point when I acknowledge a loved
one's death.
--Regarding MEDICINE, DOCTORS, etc:
I don't think they did enough!
--Regarding CHURCHES, RELIGION, etc:
There was no religion involved.
--Religious Affiliation:
Current - athiest Past - Nazarene
--Regarding ONENESS of SPIRIT, etc:
Almost all religions and cultures feel that the spirit goes to a
place to wait for thier loved ones to join them.
--Regarding MONEY:
We weren't financially prepared and had to do things the cheap way.
--Regarding the FUNERAL:
There was no funeral. Me, my sister, my brother, and my uncle
spread her ashes.
--The weirdest part of it all to me was:
Thinking it weird for my mother's ashes to be able to fit in such
a small box.
--SOME OF THE COMMON SIGNS OF DEATH :
Loss of weight, sickness, and saying good bye.
--SOME OF THE COMMON STAGES OF GRIEF:
I cry a lot and look at pictures.
--RE: Visions from the 'Other Side':
I feel that my mother's spirit has been in my home and even touched
me once.
--How might you deal with yet unresolved issues from a death?:
I have many unresolved issues with my mother and talking to her
eventhough she isn't here seems to help a little.
--If we were to visit one last conversation...
I would tell my mother how much I love her and that she was wrong
in saying that I don't need her anymore cause I do.
--RE: After-death visits from our loved ones:
When I felt my mother touch me at first it freaked me out then it
calmed me cause it was like she was trying to tell me that she is
watching over me.
--Regarding Rights & Wishes of the Dying:
I get upset when people fight over what should be done. When I
die I don't want anything fancy.
--Any thoughts about your own death?:
Sometimes death scares me cause I don't want to leave those who
love me but other times I wish I would die just so I can be with
those loved ones who have already died. If I knew that I was dying
soon I would make sure that all my loved ones knew how much I love
them and I would write out a will.
--Any Coping Ritual or Event you invented / devised to help you cope:
I talk to my mother as if she was still here. I have even gotten
into fights with her.
- - - - - P e r s o n a l H i s t o r y - - - - -
1st Death event occurred in my life at: Very Young Child
How'd I do? Very Difficult
What Helped me most deal with death? -none-
I still don't deal with death well
What Hindered me most in my dealing with death? Memories
It hurts to remember someone who died cause I know I won't be able
to make anymore memories with them
--As for reaching out helping others now as part of my healing process:
I wish my husband would have been there for me more but I am greatful
that my sister, brother, and father were there for me.
- - - Comments on this Questionnaire & collection GuestBook - - -
I am not quite sure it helped me. But it did make me realise that
I need to find better ways to deal with death.
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Wed Jul 14 18:51:20 1999
F23 in Spokane, WA =USA=
Email: <arodgers-at-sisna.com>
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Found us by: [ Web Search: ]
Prof/Studies: student/child care
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Most Significant Recent Death Exp was death of Father, 7 yrs ago.
Cause of Death: drug and alcohol abuse; Aged: 46.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - T O P I C A L S - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
--Death Is:
a transition
--The first time I ever experienced someone's death, I
was about 16
--That first time, how it happened was
How it happened was...First it was my Father, from heavy drug
and alcohol abuse-hepatitus C.Then my Grandma, his Mother about 3
months later.
--The Most Vivid memory I have of this most recent death is:
that i didn't get to say good-bye
--What I think my (USA) culture needs to better learn about death is:
what happens?
--One gift for which I shall always be grateful is:
it taught me the value of living every moment to the fullest
--And the most difficult for me in my experience with death was:
that i could never see him or talk to him again, and where did he go?
--Regarding just Being There for someone dying, my advice would be:
to let them go
--[My Father's] death taught me so much. I'd have others know how I:
didn't handle it well and how it could be done better
--The most confusing point of death for me was when:
was he in "Heaven", "hell", here sitting next to me,nowhere,
somewhere????
--Regarding Humor in the death process, I'd just say that:
a person can handle only so much
--Not that it's a regret, but I would like to have better had time to:
be there with him in the hospital
--But some things worked out so well... I'm SO GLAD I was able to:
see him 2 months before he passed
--One seemingly minor thing (yet important) which impressed me was when:
I had a dream a short time later that felt as if something, darkness,
i am not sure but it was pulling me in and it was so strong that
I knew if I went with it I wouldn't return
--And exactly backwards: what we didn't make a big deal of, was:
who get's the material possesions of the one who has passed
--Sometimes I think: It's just not fair...
that we should endure such pain
--It's sometimes so very difficult. I just wish I could
see him, feel him, smell him
--When it really hit me... when I realized & acknowledged the death, I
shut down
--Regarding MONEY:
everything he told me he wanted me to have his "common-law" wife
took and gave me his bath robe and a necklace
--Regarding the FUNERAL:
on hand it was nice to be with my whole family and my mother at
the same time and on the other I was numb, it was all a fog
--SOME OF THE COMMON SIGNS OF DEATH :
someone who has given up
--SOME OF THE COMMON STAGES OF GRIEF:
i haven't yet grieved fully
--RE: Visions from the 'Other Side':
the dreams of him seem to be dark, which scares me. My Mother has
the same experiences.
--How might you deal with yet unresolved issues from a death?:
Some unresolved issues are abandonment issues, why did he do the
things he did. I am the only one that can help myself
--If we were to visit one last conversation...
I would like to tell him how much I have always admired him and
saw past his weaknesses to his incredible strengths. I would like
to hear him tell me that I am doing ok and that he is proud of me.
--RE: After-death visits from our loved ones:
I have never seen him, but sometimes I really feel him, i get like
prickly and my sense of him is so strong, but I could be imagining it
--Regarding Rights & Wishes of the Dying:
PEOPLE NEED A WILL AND THINGS IN WRITING
--Any thoughts about your own death?:
i wouldn't be so scared if it wasn't for my daughter, i can't stand
the thought of being separated from her
--Any Coping Ritual or Event you invented / devised to help you cope:
I have written him letters
- - - - - P e r s o n a l H i s t o r y - - - - -
1st Death event occurred in my life at: Teen Ager
How'd I do? Very Difficult
What Helped me most deal with death? Avoiding Everything
What Hindered me most in my dealing with death? Abandonment
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Tue Jul 13 23:34:09 1999
M21 in , =Canada=
Email: <auenege-at-home.com>
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Found us by: [ Web Search: ]
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Recommended Reading-- Titles:
Portrait of Dorian Gray, A Farewell to Arms, Anna Karenina, Dear
Dead Person
Recommended Reading-- Writers:
Oscar Wilde, Hemmingway, Tolstoy, Benjamin Weissman
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Most Significant Recent Death Exp was death of GrandMother, 5 months ago.
Cause of Death: old age; Aged: 70.
--Details:
She died on Valentine's Day. 9:41 am.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - T O P I C A L S - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
--Death Is:
The body dies and energy disperses
--The first time I ever experienced someone's death, I
Listened to Gorecki.
--That first time, how it happened was
How it happened was... a friend of mine was hit by a truck.
--The Most Vivid memory I have of this most recent death is:
How demeaning it seemed that a whole lifetime can be grieved with
tears in minutes.
--What I think my (Canada) culture needs to better learn about death is:
It doesn't need answers.
--One gift for which I shall always be grateful is:
Seeing my grandmother two days before she died.
--What was of most support to me in my experience with death was:
Listening and writing music.
--And the most difficult for me in my experience with death was:
I had the chance to see her before she died, and I didn't, but I
did hear her breath on the phone.
--The most confusing point of death for me was when:
Whether I was glad her suffering was finished, or even more sad
regarding her death.
--Not that it's a regret, but I would like to have better had time to:
See her when I had the chance to.
--One seemingly minor thing (yet important) which impressed me was when:
The bag her personal belongings were put in - it didn't seem right.
--In another dimension of Life where this all had never happened...
I doubt she'd have enjoyed it - she lived a fairly boring, sad life;
in and out of the hospital constantly, always in discomfort.
--When it really hit me... when I realized & acknowledged the death, I
Cried for a couple minutes.
--Regarding CHURCHES, RELIGION, etc:
Nothing to me personally.
--Religious Affiliation:
Reincarnation.
--Regarding the FUNERAL:
Our family had a private memorial - sprinkling her ashes into
the ocean. I was shocked at how "common" ashes looked in the
water. Nothing magical, nothing surreal.
--The weirdest part of it all to me was:
I think I saw her spirit floating above me at night a couple
weeks later.
--RE: After-death visits from our loved ones:
I woke up to see a blue form floating above me. At first I thought
I was dreaming so I shook myself awake and realized I was fully
awake. The spirit started to recede slowly, but was holding a
hand out to me. Of course, the fact that it could have been my
grandmother didn't occur to me, and I tried to yell out, but I was
so scared I couldn't even open my mouth.
--Any thoughts about your own death?:
I've thought about death for a long time, long before this
happened. I've come to my terms with death, and honestly think (as
far as pre-thought can go) I am not frightened. I have an affinity
with the calm.
--Any New Friends emerge in the shared grieving process of Death?
The opposite actually. My mom's friend, a superficial friend, saw
my grandmother die. She'd always "back-stabbed" my grandmother and
then there she was mourning her like she thought she was a nun. Ever
since then I'll have nothing to do with her.
- - - - - P e r s o n a l H i s t o r y - - - - -
1st Death event occurred in my life at: Teen Ager
How'd I do? Very Well
What Helped me most deal with death? Ability to Forget
What Hindered me most in my dealing with death? Thoughts of the Afterlife
- - - Comments on this Questionnaire & collection GuestBook - - -
It frightened me actually. I have to sleep soon and I don't want
to see any more spirits.
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Tue Jul 13 09:41:47 1999
F14 in minneapolis, mn =usa=
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Found us by: [ Web Search: ]
looking up death and dying
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Most Significant Recent Death Exp was death of GrandMother, 2 1/2months ago.
Cause of Death: cancer; Aged: 80.
--Details:
she was one of mybest friends and got cancer for the second time,
she went to the hosp. and started radiation but it was hard on her
so they put her on morphine and she moved in w/my mom and i there
was a family member with her all the time sometimes me im only 14
but it helped my to know i was helping. she got really bad and i
said goodbye then i stayed with a cousin because my mom didnt want
me to see the worst
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - T O P I C A L S - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
--Death Is:
when someone is GONE never returning and all you have left is
memories and faith that they are with you on some other level
--The first time I ever experienced someone's death, I
had no idea how to react so that made me even more upset
--That first time, how it happened was
How it happened was... it was an uncle that i had just grown close
to. he died at home and was found by his best friend i was 5 and
my mom answered the phone and started sobbing
--The Most Vivid memory I have of this most recent death is:
feeling very close to my family
--What I think my (usa) culture needs to better learn about death is:
dont hide anything! dont hide your feelings and tell kids the TRUTH
completely it may seem harde but in the end its best to know
--One gift for which I shall always be grateful is:
my gramma kept saying she was in gods hands know which makes my
faith stronger
--What was of most support to me in my experience with death was:
family, books and other people that told me that the weird feelings
like numbness guilt and anger were normal
--And the most difficult for me in my experience with death was:
seeing my family especially men so upset which is another reason
guys shouldnt feel like crying is weak because it just makes death
harderle
--Regarding just Being There for someone dying, my advice would be:
let them know their feelings have been expressed and you know how
they feel about you
--The most confusing point of death for me was when:
i didnt feel aaaanything for the first few days i would sob and
sob but i didnt really feeel anything till after the funeral
--Regarding Humor in the death process, I'd just say that:
it was healthy not to shut out my other emotions and just feel
sadness all through the proccess my family was laughing because
gramma had the best sense of humor and would always make a joke at
the most serious times
--Not that it's a regret, but I would like to have better had time to:
talk more to my gramma about her past and get to know her as a
woman more than just my grammma
--One seemingly minor thing (yet important) which impressed me was when:
the closed the casket i fell apart it was the end
--It's sometimes so very difficult. I just wish I could
have one more hug
--Regarding MEDICINE, DOCTORS, etc:
hospice is one of the greatest things ever
--Regarding HOSPICE etc:
they were absolutley wonderful and helped us understand all the
weird things and they still write and send books and offer to listen
and talk
--Regarding CHURCHES, RELIGION, etc:
gramma wasnt completley gone forever
--Religious Affiliation:
disciples of christ first christian
--Regarding MONEY:
we couldnt decide how to spend her memorial
--The weirdest part of it all to me was:
b
--SOME OF THE COMMON SIGNS OF DEATH :
burst of energy loss of appetite disorientation
--SOME OF THE COMMON STAGES OF GRIEF:
first numbness then complete depression then alitte anger or guilt
--RE: Visions from the 'Other Side':
she kept repeating that she was in gods hand now
--RE: After-death visits from our loved ones:
i had a LOT of dreams and she was there once it was at the funeral
home and she got out and hugged me
--Any Coping Ritual or Event you invented / devised to help you cope:
i took out all her pictures with me and remembered something she
had said to me at that time
- - - - - P e r s o n a l H i s t o r y - - - - -
1st Death event occurred in my life at: Young Child
How'd I do? Well
What Helped me most deal with death? Passage of Time
it was explained completely by my mom she told me everything i
wanted to know
What Hindered me most in my dealing with death? -none-
- - - Comments on this Questionnaire & collection GuestBook - - -
it helped alot to put things in perspective
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Sun Jul 11 13:16:52 1999
F26 in , NC =USA=
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Found us by: [ Web Search: ]
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Most Significant Recent Death Exp was death of Friend, 1 ago.
Cause of Death: cancer; Aged: 42.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - T O P I C A L S - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
--Death Is:
the separating of our spirits from our bodies.
--The first time I ever experienced someone's death, I
was a little sad, but knew I would see them again one day in Heaven.
--That first time, how it happened was
How it happened was...Grandfather had heart attck.
--The Most Vivid memory I have of this most recent death is:
being angry that she died.
--What I think my (USA) culture needs to better learn about death is:
it is only temporary if you have faith in Jesus Christ.
--One gift for which I shall always be grateful is:
her suffering was finished.
--What was of most support to me in my experience with death was:
the Bible and prayer.
--And the most difficult for me in my experience with death was:
I thought she would be healed, but she wasn't.
--Regarding just Being There for someone dying, my advice would be:
Visit some, but also send cards or other stuff in the mail to
let them know you're thinking of them. Visits can be awkward and
tiresome sometimes...be sensitive.
--[My Friend's] death taught me so much. I'd have others know how I:
had to learn to trust God even when His decisions did not agree
with mine.
--The most confusing point of death for me was when:
I found out that she had really died.
--Regarding Humor in the death process, I'd just say that:
N/A
--Not that it's a regret, but I would like to have better had time to:
visit her sooner instead of being afraid to face her.
--But some things worked out so well... I'm SO GLAD I was able to:
pray with her and read Scripture with her, even though it was
awkward.
--One seemingly minor thing (yet important) which impressed me was when:
N/A
--And exactly backwards: what we didn't make a big deal of, was:
N/A
--I can get all teary-eyed just thinking about it all again when:
I try to figure out why I thought she would be healed instead of
accepting her condition.
--In another dimension of Life where this all had never happened...
never thought about that
--Sometimes I think: It's just not fair...
N/A
--It's sometimes so very difficult. I just wish I could
understand why I misunderstood what I thought God was saying
--When it really hit me... when I realized & acknowledged the death, I
read my Bible and asked God lots of questions.
--Regarding MEDICINE, DOCTORS, etc:
whatever
--Regarding HOSPICE etc:
not involved with this
--Regarding CHURCHES, RELIGION, etc:
loving support. However, our relationship with Jesus gave us hope
and a future.
--Religious Affiliation:
I belong to Jesus Christ.
--Regarding ONENESS of SPIRIT, etc:
we all miss our loved ones.
--Regarding MONEY:
N/A
--Regarding the FUNERAL:
I was there only for the second half because someone told me it
was going to be at the funeral home, but it was actually at the
church. (I think God did this on purpose because I really was
thinking about walking up to the casket and telling her to "get up
in the name of Jesus.")
--The weirdest part of it all to me was:
not about the death at all, but about my communication with God
and trusting what He sasys to me.
--SOME OF THE COMMON SIGNS OF DEATH :
depends on th illness.
--SOME OF THE COMMON STAGES OF GRIEF:
?
--RE: Visions from the 'Other Side':
there were none that I know of.
--RE: Near Death Experiences:
When I was almost two years old, I fell out of an upstairs window. I
don't remember it, but my parents tell me I said I saw angels. They
were surprised, because they didn't know that I knew what an angel
was. By the way, I only needed a few stitches; I was picking myself
up off the ground when my mother reached me.
--How might you deal with yet unresolved issues from a death?:
All my unresolved issues are with God. I will keep reading the
Bible and praying until I get some insight.
--If we were to visit one last conversation...
Was there any kind of healing at all? Spiritual, Emotional whatever?
--RE: After-death visits from our loved ones:
I had a dream about my grandfather. I was sitting in a church and
he came up beside me and told me a story. I never could remember the
story after I woke up, but I did remember the point he was trying to
make: Did I love Jesus more than anything else? More than myself and
what I wanted? More than I loved what other people thought about me?
--Regarding Rights & Wishes of the Dying:
I should make sure my wishes regarding living wills, power of
attorney, guardians of children, etc are clearly known and legally
binding.
--Any thoughts about your own death?:
I think about it often. I sometimes think it would be much easier
to die than to get up and face living another day.
--Any Coping Ritual or Event you invented / devised to help you cope:
Just sharing good memories about the deceased, and knowing that if
they knew Jesus then they are in a better place.
--Any Coping Rituals or Events which have carried over into your life?
Look for the positive in everthing.
--Any New Friends emerge in the shared grieving process of Death?
nope. I tend to avoid my friend's family members.
- - - - - P e r s o n a l H i s t o r y - - - - -
1st Death event occurred in my life at: Very Young Child
How'd I do? Well
What Helped me most deal with death? Lack of Awareness
close family
What Hindered me most in my dealing with death? -none-
--As for reaching out helping others now as part of my healing process:
N/A
- - - Comments on this Questionnaire & collection GuestBook - - -
This was interesting, but not much I haven't thought of before.
- - - Any other questions you feel we should have asked here?
What do you think will happen after you die?
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Sat Jul 10 16:59:16 1999
M17 in healesville, victoria =australia=
Name: Nick
Email: <wuadruped-at-xoommail.com>
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Found us by: [ Web Search: ]
yahoo
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Prof/Studies: High school
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Most Significant Recent Death Exp was death of Friend, 15 yrs ago.
Cause of Death: drowning; Aged: 2.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - T O P I C A L S - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
--Death Is:
When the body ceases to function. It is completely unknown whether
or not there is some higher 'consciousness' that goes on being
aware after death, although many believe so.
--The first time I ever experienced someone's death, I
was much too young to really understand the circumstance. Children,
in their innocence, are not afraid of, or frightened by death.
A lesson?....
--That first time, how it happened was
How it happened was...one of my young friends drowned in a swimming
pool
--What I think my (australia) culture needs to better learn about death is:
it is a natural part of life
--One gift for which I shall always be grateful is:
I think it may have brought some of our parents closer together
--What was of most support to me in my experience with death was:
My youth
--And the most difficult for me in my experience with death was:
losing a friend
--Regarding just Being There for someone dying, my advice would be:
get them out of the bloody pool
--[My Friend's] death taught me so much. I'd have others know how I:
was too damn young to remember it
--The most confusing point of death for me was when:
my friend was no longer there
--Regarding Humor in the death process, I'd just say that:
I was a baby for god's sake
--Not that it's a regret, but I would like to have better had time to:
...
--But some things worked out so well... I'm SO GLAD I was able to:
...
--One seemingly minor thing (yet important) which impressed me was when:
...
--And exactly backwards: what we didn't make a big deal of, was:
...
--I can get all teary-eyed just thinking about it all again when:
.........
--In another dimension of Life where this all had never happened...
good question. Would I still be friends with this girl 15 yrs down
the track? Would we be living near each other? Would it matter?
--Sometimes I think: It's just not fair...
That I never got to know my friend as a more grown-up person
--It's sometimes so very difficult. I just wish I could
...
--When it really hit me... when I realized & acknowledged the death, I
can't remember
--Regarding MEDICINE, DOCTORS, etc:
...
--Regarding HOSPICE etc:
..
--Regarding CHURCHES, RELIGION, etc:
...
--Religious Affiliation:
I am at a stand-off with religion. I don't annoy it, and it doesn't
annoy me
--Regarding ONENESS of SPIRIT, etc:
quite true. Of course everyone dies.
--Regarding MONEY:
...
--Regarding the FUNERAL:
...
--The weirdest part of it all to me was:
...
--SOME OF THE COMMON SIGNS OF DEATH :
The flailing arms and legs and the look of panic on the face.
--SOME OF THE COMMON STAGES OF GRIEF:
It helped to have no idea what was going on
--RE: Visions from the 'Other Side':
I think her mother had some visions of her at one point
--RE: Near Death Experiences:
...
--How might you deal with yet unresolved issues from a death?:
...
--If we were to visit one last conversation...
remember me?
--RE: After-death visits from our loved ones:
...
--Regarding Rights & Wishes of the Dying:
...
--Any thoughts about your own death?:
Yeah, it sucks. Oh well, at least i'm secure in the knowledge that
I can swim
--Any Coping Ritual or Event you invented / devised to help you cope:
...
--Any Coping Rituals or Events which have carried over into your life?
...
--Any New Friends emerge in the shared grieving process of Death?
...
- - - - - P e r s o n a l H i s t o r y - - - - -
1st Death event occurred in my life at: Very Young Child
How'd I do? Very Well
What Helped me most deal with death? Lack of Awareness
I was so oyung that I didn't fully understand what had happened
What Hindered me most in my dealing with death? Lack of Awareness
as I said......
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Sat Jul 10 11:37:18 1999
F18 in Caswell Beach, NC =US=
Name: Jenne
Email: <AngelDust-at-starplace.com>
Web: http://zap.to/nomoreshame
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Found us by: [ Web Search: ]
Prof/Studies: Engineering
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Most Significant Recent Death Exp was death of Friend, 3 months ago.
Cause of Death: suicide; Aged: 20ish.
--Details:
He had been depressed for a very long time and finally went through
with suicide. I've always felt it was my fault for not being there
when he needed me.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - T O P I C A L S - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
--Death Is:
when life ceases to exist and a person sleeps forever.
--The first time I ever experienced someone's death, I
cried because i couldn't understand
--That first time, how it happened was
How it happened was...my grandfather died from a heartattack. I
was too young to go to the funeral but I remember him well.
--The Most Vivid memory I have of this most recent death is:
feeling it was my fault and others saying it wasnt
--What I think my (US) culture needs to better learn about death is:
it's inevitable and brings an end to pain
--One gift for which I shall always be grateful is:
nothing :/
--What was of most support to me in my experience with death was:
my psychologist, explaining how it wasn't my fault
--And the most difficult for me in my experience with death was:
the guilt and knowing we could never talk again
--Not that it's a regret, but I would like to have better had time to:
tell him i was there to listen at any time...and just maybe, maybe
give him some hope to live
--But some things worked out so well... I'm SO GLAD I was able to:
get a chance to know him
--I can get all teary-eyed just thinking about it all again when:
someone else i know is on the verge of committing suicide. i feel
a strong urge to prevent it since i couldnt the last time.
--In another dimension of Life where this all had never happened...
I might not have the realization that someone close to me could
possibly commit suicide. I wouldnt be able to value friends as i
do now.
--Sometimes I think: It's just not fair...
it should have been me, not him
--It's sometimes so very difficult. I just wish I could
turn back time
--When it really hit me... when I realized & acknowledged the death, I
cried uncontrollably and searched for all the old letters i had
gotten from him to read
--Regarding MEDICINE, DOCTORS, etc:
The medical community is so underdeveloped in areas of psychology,
they are useless! If the doctors were more observant, rather
than caring only when they get paid, they could have noticed he
was suicidal!
--Religious Affiliation:
Christian (methodist)...none now
--Regarding MONEY:
it was no issue
--The weirdest part of it all to me was:
people who didn't know him saying the hoped he was in a better
place and that they'll miss him.
--RE: Near Death Experiences:
I came close to getting killed in a car accident where my car
flipped. I don't know if it really changed my point of view...i've
never valued life much.
--How might you deal with yet unresolved issues from a death?:
there are no way to resolve the issues
--If we were to visit one last conversation...
That his death was the only option he had and he felt no more pain
from life.
--Any thoughts about your own death?:
finally
--Any Coping Ritual or Event you invented / devised to help you cope:
Self-injury. It would punish me for not preventing his death.
- - - - - P e r s o n a l H i s t o r y - - - - -
1st Death event occurred in my life at: Very Young Child
How'd I do? Adequate
What Helped me most deal with death? Lack of Awareness
What Hindered me most in my dealing with death? Lack of Awareness
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