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See Current contributions.
See Sep 06 contributions.
See Aug 06 contributions.
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Mon Oct 30 20:02:15 2006
F56 in Hanover, PA =USA=
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Found us by: [ Web Search: ]
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Prof/Studies: CNA/GNA
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Most Significant Recent Death Exp was death of GrandMother, 13 Years ago.
Cause of Death: old age; Aged: 94.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - T O P I C A L S - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
--Death Is:
when our physical body shuts down and turns off.
--The Most Vivid memory I have of this most recent death is:
The viewing and how un alive she looked. My Grandmother was never
a make up user and they tried to make her look un naturally young.
--What I think my (USA) culture needs to better learn about death is:
The actual process. What things are sure signs and ways to better
comfort the dying.
--One gift for which I shall always be grateful is:
my grandmothers smile and the assurance she was in a better place
than I'm in.
--What was of most support to me in my experience with death was:
working through it on my own.
--And the most difficult for me in my experience with death was:
the loss of a very dear role model/friend.
--Regarding just Being There for someone dying, my advice would be:
touching them and talking to them and assuring them that it's ok
for them to move on.
--Not that it's a regret, but I would like to have better had time to:
spend more quality time with her.
--Regarding CHURCHES, RELIGION, etc:
assurance that she wasn't suffering and would be with The Lord.
--Religious Affiliation:
Methodist
--Regarding the FUNERAL:
The amount of people who claimed to be Christians but who were
crying and carrying on like it was awful.
--The weirdest part of it all to me was:
My Grandmothers nic name was "Cricket" (which I didn't learn until
the funeral). At the viewing, I was standing in the parking lot
with other family members, and a cricket jumped onto my shoulder. I
didn't think much of it then, but when a cousin read a list of little
known facts about Mimi (my Grandmother) and told about her nic name,
I nearly passed out.
--RE: After-death visits from our loved ones:
I want to believe that the cricket incident, was Mimis way of
telling me goodbye and it was ok.
--Regarding Rights & Wishes of the Dying:
A Living Will and open frank discussions with your family and doctor
about your wishes.
--Any thoughts about your own death?:
I don't fear death per say. I am reluctant about the unknown of the
whole dying process, but I believe God has everything pre arrainged.
--Any Coping Ritual or Event you invented / devised to help you cope:
Just reliving good memmories.
- - - - - P e r s o n a l H i s t o r y - - - - -
How'd I do? Adequate
What Helped me most deal with death? Passage of Time
My family explained death and dying to me.
What Hindered me most in my dealing with death? Ability to Forget
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Sun Oct 29 11:06:41 2006
F33 in Rochester, NY =USA=
Name: Anita English
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Found us by: [ Web Search: ]
google search
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Prof/Studies: Registered nurse
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More personal info:
I am doing research on how nursing students are prepared to deal
with the death of a patient. I hope to develop a seminar to help
the students learn how to support the families of the patient and
deal with their own sense of loss
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Most Significant Recent Death Exp was death of , Years ago.
Aged:
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How'd I do? Well
What Helped me most deal with death? My Belief System
What Hindered me most in my dealing with death? Nothing at all
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Wed Oct 25 00:14:28 2006
F54 in near Kenora, Ontario =Canada=
Name: val
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Found us by: [ Stumbled on it ]
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Prof/Studies: education
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Most Significant Recent Death Exp was death of Mother, 50 Years ago.
Cause of Death: cerebral hemmorhage; Aged: 42.
--Details:
I only recently found out how she died. Over the years, her death
was never discussed with me. Various people told me various causes
of death as the years went by. Gradually, her death became an event
that happened to someone else, not me.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - T O P I C A L S - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
--Death Is:
being gone forever, no more seeing, touching, talking with, holding,
and feeling the love from that person.
--The first time I ever experienced someone's death, I
dont remember.
--The Most Vivid memory I have of this most recent death is:
how the following year and a half is completely blank in my mind,
how my mother's death was never real for me.
--What I think my (Canada) culture needs to better learn about death is:
that death has to be discussed with children, that the child's
grief has to be recognized and expressed in a supportive and loving
environment.
--One gift for which I shall always be grateful is:
I do not remember the horror of that night.
--What was of most support to me in my experience with death was:
no help from the adults and other family members in those days. It
was not a natural thing back them to discuss death with a child. What
supported me the most was denial, dissociation, and living in a
fantasy world.
--And the most difficult for me in my experience with death was:
my loss of self.
--Regarding just Being There for someone dying, my advice would be:
To let them know how much they are loved, how special they are and
have been, how they are free to leave when they are ready, and to
reassure them that you will be okay.
--[My Mother's] death taught me so much. I'd have others know how I:
finally got into therapy and although it is taking many years,
I am finally becoming alive, and coming to terms with the death of
my mother, then 6 years later, my father, then the loss of my aunt
and uncle who took me in.
--The most confusing point of death for me was when:
they, the person you love with all of your being, is gone, that
you will never see them, or laugh with them, or talk with them
again. It is very difficult to get your mind around that fact.
--Regarding Humor in the death process, I'd just say that:
I don't ever remember laughing.
--Not that it's a regret, but I would like to have better had time to:
been told of what had happened and been allowed to grieve with
others, to get through this terrible loss together.
--But some things worked out so well... I'm SO GLAD I was able to:
find a wonderful therapist who has retraced my childhood steps and
brought me back into the present, and allowed me to start accepting
and processing all of the losses of my childhood.
--One seemingly minor thing (yet important) which impressed me was when:
I was given pictures of my mother.
--And exactly backwards: what we didn't make a big deal of, was:
?
--I can get all teary-eyed just thinking about it all again when:
another death occurs in my present life. I relive my earlier losses
each time I lose someone in my present life.
--In another dimension of Life where this all had never happened...
I would be full and complete. I would have gotten to know my
mother. I would have a history, I would know what she was like,
and why I and my own daughters are the way we are, what features
and personality features we share with her.
--Sometimes I think: It's just not fair...
that love does not last forever.
--It's sometimes so very difficult. I just wish I could
wave a magic wand and start it all over from when I was 4. No one
would ever die, not until we were all really old, and we were all
ready to leave.
--When it really hit me... when I realized & acknowledged the death, I
was devastated, I was afraid, I was so alone, I retreated into my
own world.
--Regarding MEDICINE, DOCTORS, etc:
sheer disappointment, disgust, anger, and pain.
--Regarding HOSPICE etc:
n/a
--Regarding CHURCHES, RELIGION, etc:
not much at the time. It does play a large part in my understanding
and acceptance of my early losses in my present day life.
--Religious Affiliation:
Anglican
--Regarding ONENESS of SPIRIT, etc:
definite. Our loved ones do watch over us, and sometimes let us know
in different ways that they are there. We just have to be open to
the signs. These events bring comfort and hope.
--Regarding MONEY:
n/a
--Regarding the FUNERAL:
I was not allowed to attend. I did not even know where my mother
was buried. I had to find all of this out when I grew older and
stronger and ready to deal with finding out all of this.
--The weirdest part of it all to me was:
Learning to recognize and not fear the signs.
--SOME OF THE COMMON SIGNS OF DEATH :
?
--SOME OF THE COMMON STAGES OF GRIEF:
?
--RE: Visions from the 'Other Side':
n/a
--RE: Near Death Experiences:
n/a
--How might you deal with yet unresolved issues from a death?:
My therapist was helping me deal with issues regarding my aunt who
passed away. I am still working through many of these issues. These
issues include ones of alcoholism, emotional abuse, control, and my
own feelings of love, acceptance, and forgiveness. My own feelings of
inadequacy in my actions and behaviors towards her. The definitions
of love and forgiveness, and making peace with all of that.
--If we were to visit one last conversation...
To my mother, I would say I love you mama. I wish you had not left. I
wish I knew you, what you liked to eat, what you liked to read, what
colour was your favorite, what made you laugh. I want to know what
it feels like to have you hug me. I still need you.
To my aunt
who passed, I would say, I forgive you for what happened when you
were drinking (I did say this to her when she was in a coma before
she died, I don't know if she heard me,I also told her while she
was still alert that my mom, her sister, would have been very proud
of the great mom she was to me. I would ask her if she was happy
where she was, and if her and my mom were together, and if they
were doing some fishing together. I would tell the both of them,
that when I get there, I will fish with them too.
--RE: After-death visits from our loved ones:
My mother has never come to visit me until just recently. On a
day when I least expected it, a long-lost friend surprised me by
sending in the mail, a picture of my mother when she was young. I
discovered while researching how my mother died, that her birthday
was the same as my 22 year old daughter. We did not know that until
last year. My aunt that raised me who died over two years ago has
visited both me and my daughter in dreams. The first Christmas
after she was gone, we were both very lonely and missing her. By
sheer accident, and in the oddest place, my daughter found my aunt's
handwritten recipe for shortbread cookies, her Christmas specialty.
--Regarding Rights & Wishes of the Dying:
?
--Any thoughts about your own death?:
Although for years, I was suicidal, I now am not ready yet to
die. I have children and grandchildren that I need to see grow up,
and I want to be here for them as long as God sees fit. I want them
to be prepared for my own death and to be part of saying good bye,
and to not be afraid and grieving for a long time.
--What might you like your obit to say of you:
?
--Any Coping Ritual or Event you invented / devised to help you cope:
Individual therapy with a wonderful and skilled counsellor. Attending
a 12 week grief group. Talking with others who have lost their
parents at a young age. Reading several books on the loss of parents
when a child.
--Any Coping Rituals or Events which have carried over into your life?
?
--Any New Friends emerge in the shared grieving process of Death?
I am more open, understanding, and patient with anyone who suffers
a loss of a loved one. I do try to do what is best for that person.
- - - - - P e r s o n a l H i s t o r y - - - - -
How'd I do? Very Difficult
What Helped me most deal with death? Dissociation
I have just recently begun to deal with her death and the death of
my father 6 years later.
What Hindered me most in my dealing with death? Silence & Taboos
Not being part of the funerals of either parent.
--As for reaching out helping others now as part of my healing process:
?
- - - Comments on this Questionnaire & collection GuestBook - - -
It has been very helpful for me, in that it has helped me in my
processing of my early losses. It has allowed me to set down in
print what has been on my mind. It will allow me to further process
and heal further from these early losses.
- - - Any other questions you feel we should have asked here?
If you were a young child when you lost a loved one, what should have
been done that was not done, that would have helped you cope with
your loss? What was done that did help you cope with your early loss?
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Sun Oct 22 12:46:46 2006
M55 in Phoenix, Arizona =USA=
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Found us by: [ Web Search: ]
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Prof/Studies: DC
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More personal info:
Thanks for the opportunity to get some feelings off my chest
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Recommended Reading-- Titles:
Bardo Thodol, Book of Living and Dying, Guidebook to the Bardo,
countless books revealing the ideas of Buddhism, Hinduism and the
Veda (Mahabarata, Bhagavad Gita e.g.).
Recommended Reading-- Writers:
Many
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Most Significant Recent Death Exp was death of Mother, 10 Years ago.
Cause of Death: COPD; Aged: .
--Details:
She had a rough time for many years even as her O2 was increased,
then, she died. She was unhappy in life and very angry at just
about everybody and everything.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - T O P I C A L S - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
--Death Is:
after life. The two are part of existance. However, my
understanding stops here.
--The first time I ever experienced someone's death, I
First year dissection in chiropractic school. We were all pretty
tense about that first cut. Then there was the great big "bucket
o' heads" we later used for EENT and techniques of head surgery
(I know, it's not what we're licensed to do, but it was necessary
for differential diagnosis). The queasyness was mostly gone by the
second week but larger questions remained for most of us I think.
I had actually had this exact same experience in dental school
before this and was amazed at the inertness of the corpse...it's
utter lifelessness and irrelevence to it's previous owner (or so
I imagined at the time).
--That first time, how it happened was
Mother passed away because of COPD
--The Most Vivid memory I have of this most recent death is:
Initially, anger and betrayal. I thought I had tried hard to
understand both mt parents and when my mother gave all our childhood
possessions and inheritable estate to complete strangers, my brother
and I were very much displaced by strong emotions. The fact that
she passed away didn't seem to matter much but, now I see that this
was our own tragic way of dealing with the passing of a parent.
--What I think my (USA) culture needs to better learn about death is:
that it is part and parcel of living. Seperating the two is like
rendering a coin valueless by tearing the face from the obverse part.
This seperation is part of an intellectual model of thinking that
insists that every expressible thing or idea must have two parts-our
culture stands on the legs of dualism.
--One gift for which I shall always be grateful is:
the realization of impermanence when my father died. He had
priceless papers, books and musical instruments that he jealously
guarded and sequestered from our childish, prying fingers. When he
was gone, for all the world, I could have pissed on it all and it
would have made no difference to him even if he were on his way
back via rebirth.
--What was of most support to me in my experience with death was:
I'm not Buddhist (not in the least), but the Dalai Lama spoke to
me through several of his wonderful books.
--And the most difficult for me in my experience with death was:
It won't go away.
--Regarding just Being There for someone dying, my advice would be:
Keep quiet and meditate on generosity and compassion for the
departing soul. There is nothing else to do.
--[My Parents's] death taught me so much. I'd have others know how I:
Impermanence and the sublimation (avoidance) of emotional reactions
which lead us away from reality.
--The most confusing point of death for me was when:
no response
--Regarding Humor in the death process, I'd just say that:
This never happened to me.
--Not that it's a regret, but I would like to have better had time to:
Be more consistant in my patience and unqualified acceptance and love
of my parents. I was too often drawn into tests of will with them.
--But some things worked out so well... I'm SO GLAD I was able to:
No response
--One seemingly minor thing (yet important) which impressed me was when:
No response
--And exactly backwards: what we didn't make a big deal of, was:
?
--I can get all teary-eyed just thinking about it all again when:
I never get teary eyed about my parents (or my terrific Mother-In-Law
or sister, both of whom have passed away).
--In another dimension of Life where this all had never happened...
Never occurs.
--Sometimes I think: It's just not fair...
No, what's fair? What's not fair? Email me your answer ASAP.
--It's sometimes so very difficult. I just wish I could
?
--When it really hit me... when I realized & acknowledged the death, I
See above
--Regarding MEDICINE, DOCTORS, etc:
marginal respect/disrespect. Too many horror stories to indulge
in here. Hospice was excellent, however.
--Regarding HOSPICE etc:
Above
--Regarding CHURCHES, RELIGION, etc:
Nothing to me, but, I know that it carries many people through the
death experience in one piece, so to speak.
--Religious Affiliation:
Gnostic Realist
--Regarding ONENESS of SPIRIT, etc:
A way of thinking or reacting to the unknown is very, very important
to everyone.
--Regarding MONEY:
I was my father's executor and straightening out his bills was
daunting. It caused me to curse him now and then. In retrospect,
I see how money forms many barriers in life and in death, although,
this doesn't need to be the case. I have learned a lot about this.
--Regarding the FUNERAL:
It is really for the benefit of undertakers.
--The weirdest part of it all to me was:
No response
--SOME OF THE COMMON SIGNS OF DEATH :
Read Sogyal Rinpoches' Book of Living and Dying. It WILL answer
many questions.
--SOME OF THE COMMON STAGES OF GRIEF:
No response
--RE: Visions from the 'Other Side':
I have never had a spiritual experience of this kind. I'm not sure
I want to. We'll get a crack at it when our number's up.
--RE: Near Death Experiences:
N/A
--How might you deal with yet unresolved issues from a death?:
I mentioned them already but, this aspect to death is really the most
perplexing since it's natural to want to go back and say 'I'm sorry',
even if you can't. And you can't-period...I just got over it.
--If we were to visit one last conversation...
N/A
--RE: After-death visits from our loved ones:
N/A
--Regarding Rights & Wishes of the Dying:
I have to think about this one.
--Any thoughts about your own death?:
N/A
--What might you like your obit to say of you:
Buy low, sell high, collect early and pay late...and make sure you
get a lot of fishing in.
--Any Coping Ritual or Event you invented / devised to help you cope:
An Irish wake is still the best thing for mourning there is (in my
humble estimation).
--Any Coping Rituals or Events which have carried over into your life?
I now meditate and I treat my own family as if every day were
the last. I even take the garbage out without complaining (that's
amazing to me).
--Any New Friends emerge in the shared grieving process of Death?
No, mostly my relationship with my brother took a toll
- - - - - P e r s o n a l H i s t o r y - - - - -
How'd I do? Adequate
What Helped me most deal with death? Nothing at all
Disinterest is my response to a thing that is either beyond
my experience or which I find to be darkly mysterious or plain
threatening.
What Hindered me most in my dealing with death? Lack of Awareness
None
--As for reaching out helping others now as part of my healing process:
We have a big family. There's lots of 'reaching out'.
- - - Comments on this Questionnaire & collection GuestBook - - -
Definetly. Anger is toxic and I think I've left some of it behind
here.
- - - Any other questions you feel we should have asked here?
I don't think so, you're addressing the world and the questionnaire,
while parts are irrelevent to me, are probably very important to
someomne else. Good job.
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Sun Oct 15 08:43:33 2006
Anon Guest in =Unknown Locale=
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Found us by: [ Web Search: ]
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Most Significant Recent Death Exp was death of GrandMother, 12 Years ago.
Cause of Death: cancer; Aged: 75.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - T O P I C A L S - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
--Death Is:
Death is something that we all know the existance of but can never
pinpoint exactly what it is, why it has happened, or what we can do
about it. Death happens to all of us, but ironically we never truly
grasp the idea that we will die, or that those close to us will,
until it actually happens. Death is one of the few things we can
absolutley never avoid. It deeply scares us, but logically makes
sense. It is the root for all religions and we try desperately to
understand it although it inherently cannot be understood.
--The first time I ever experienced someone's death, I
hardly understood what death itself was, and was shocked at the
concept that I, myself, would die someday and that those I loved
and cared about would also die.
--That first time, how it happened was
My Grandmother died from cancer when I was five years old. I
wasn't old enough to really comprehend what had happened, but I did
understand that she was gone and not coming back. My parents were
very supportive in helping me deal with the realization of death,
and I believe I handled it very well.
--The Most Vivid memory I have of this most recent death is:
that I could never see or get that person back again.
--What I think my () culture needs to better learn about death is:
that it may not necessarily be such a horrible thing. Maybe we
need to embrace the beauty of death and the concept that while
it is difficult to understand, death is something that happens to
everyone. That being the case, perhaps it is not a force of evil...
--One gift for which I shall always be grateful is:
that death helps us to appreciate life and what we do still
have. Without death, we would take for granted the people in our
lives and the importance of making the most of our own life.
--What was of most support to me in my experience with death was:
taking time alone, just to think about it.
--And the most difficult for me in my experience with death was:
the day to day idea that someone is not coming back. Ever, ever,
again.
--Regarding just Being There for someone dying, my advice would be:
To try to be happy and make jokes, reminesce about the past, ad
just try to make their last moments good ones.
--[My GrandMother's] death taught me so much. I'd have others know how I:
I have learned that people will always continue to exist in our
memories.
--The most confusing point of death for me was when:
I knew that I could never see or talk to them again.
--Regarding Humor in the death process, I'd just say that:
Don't have time to finish this.
--Not that it's a regret, but I would like to have better had time to:
Don't have time to finish this.
--But some things worked out so well... I'm SO GLAD I was able to:
Don't have time to finish this.
--One seemingly minor thing (yet important) which impressed me was when:
Don't have time to finish this.
--And exactly backwards: what we didn't make a big deal of, was:
Don't have time to finish this.
--I can get all teary-eyed just thinking about it all again when:
Don't have time to finish this.
--In another dimension of Life where this all had never happened...
Don't have time to finish this.
--Sometimes I think: It's just not fair...
Don't have time to finish this.
--It's sometimes so very difficult. I just wish I could
Don't have time to finish this.
--When it really hit me... when I realized & acknowledged the death, I
Disbelief
--Regarding MEDICINE, DOCTORS, etc:
Don't have time to finish this.
--Regarding HOSPICE etc:
Don't have time to finish this.
--Regarding CHURCHES, RELIGION, etc:
Don't have time to finish this.
--Religious Affiliation:
Don't have time to finish this.
--Regarding ONENESS of SPIRIT, etc:
Don't have time to finish this.
--Regarding MONEY:
Don't have time to finish this.
--Regarding the FUNERAL:
Don't have time to finish this.
--The weirdest part of it all to me was:
Don't have time to finish this.
--SOME OF THE COMMON SIGNS OF DEATH :
Don't have time to finish this.
--SOME OF THE COMMON STAGES OF GRIEF:
Don't have time to finish this.
--RE: Visions from the 'Other Side':
Don't have time to finish this.
--RE: Near Death Experiences:
Don't have time to finish this.
--How might you deal with yet unresolved issues from a death?:
Don't have time to finish this.
--If we were to visit one last conversation...
Don't have time to finish this.
--RE: After-death visits from our loved ones:
Don't have time to finish this.
--Regarding Rights & Wishes of the Dying:
Don't have time to finish this.
--Any thoughts about your own death?:
Don't have time to finish this.
--What might you like your obit to say of you:
Don't have time to finish this.
--Any Coping Ritual or Event you invented / devised to help you cope:
Don't have time to finish this.
--Any Coping Rituals or Events which have carried over into your life?
Don't have time to finish this.
--Any New Friends emerge in the shared grieving process of Death?
Don't have time to finish this.
- - - - - P e r s o n a l H i s t o r y - - - - -
How'd I do? Very Well
What Helped me most deal with death? People's Stories, etc.
This is just a question I have: Why do you capitalize the word
"death"? It's as if you're making it into something larger or more
ominiously powerful than it actually is, as if it were a sentient
being or something. I just think that it makes the whole concept of
death worse--as if you're trying to turn it into this mystical being.
What Hindered me most in my dealing with death? The Funeral
--As for reaching out helping others now as part of my healing process:
Don't have time to finish this.
- - - Comments on this Questionnaire & collection GuestBook - - -
Don't have time to finish this.
- - - Any other questions you feel we should have asked here?
Don't have time to finish this.
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See Sep 06 contributions.
See Aug 06 contributions.
See Current contributions.
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