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See Current contributions.
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Wed Apr 26 09:44:21 2006
F40 in bangor, ME =USA=
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Found us by: [ Web Search: ]
looking for surveys to take online
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Prof/Studies: disabled
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Most Significant Recent Death Exp was death of Mother, 8 Years ago.
Cause of Death: cigarettes; Aged: 55.
--Details:
her lungs stopped functioning and she died of oxygen starvation
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--Death Is:
a transition from existance in this form and place to the next form
and place. A place where our bodies do not decay and our spirits
never depart from them.
--The first time I ever experienced someone's death, I
was too young to really understand. And I was not close enough to
the person to truly mourn.
--The Most Vivid memory I have of this most recent death is:
how few of her relatives came to her funeral and the fact that they
didn't even send flowers.
--What I think my (USA) culture needs to better learn about death is:
it is not an ending, but a transition.
--And the most difficult for me in my experience with death was:
not being able to contact the person any more.
--Regarding just Being There for someone dying, my advice would be:
tell them you love them, even if they are in a coma. Let them see
your pain; that you are sad that they are leaving.
--Not that it's a regret, but I would like to have better had time to:
get to know him better. Be his friend as well as his sister.
--Regarding MEDICINE, DOCTORS, etc:
disgust and anger.
--Regarding HOSPICE etc:
gratitude.
--Regarding CHURCHES, RELIGION, etc:
belief that we will meet again in heaven.
--Religious Affiliation:
Baptist
--Regarding ONENESS of SPIRIT, etc:
stupid
--Regarding the FUNERAL:
more friends attended than family.
--Any thoughts about your own death?:
I would feel happy and relieved. (I have suicidal tendencies)
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What Helped me most deal with death? Religion/Clergy
I know we will meet again
What Hindered me most in my dealing with death? Other:
wanting to call her and share interesting information/jokes/stories
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Sun Apr 23 18:09:31 2006
F17 in Flushing, NY =U.S=
Name: natalie
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Found us by: [ Web Search: ]
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--Death Is:
when it becomes impossible to breathe
--The first time I ever experienced someone's death, I
thought i was going to be fine, that no grieving would occur at all
--That first time, how it happened was
My father had cancer for 13 years, was introduced to a new treatment,
the new treatment caused him to have a seizure, died from body
shutting down
--The Most Vivid memory I have of this most recent death is:
sitting in a specific hall way at school writing poems
--One gift for which I shall always be grateful is:
i learned that death is tragically final. theres no other way around
it, and i am greatful i learned this because i had a very immature
and naive view on death previously
--What was of most support to me in my experience with death was:
writing poems that meant something, and that expressed in exact
words how i felt.
--And the most difficult for me in my experience with death was:
going back to school, my father was my go-to guy on any question
reguarding life, so school was terribly difficult to get through
--[My Father's] death taught me so much. I'd have others know how I:
thought i was going to commit suicide because the pain was so intense
but i chose not to and i feel that i am now healed from the pain.
--The most confusing point of death for me was when:
it came time to going back to everyday life. i was confused about
how "normal" was no longer going to be the old normal but now the
new normal
--Not that it's a regret, but I would like to have better had time to:
visit on that last day before he died, my mom and brothers went
but i chose to go to work.
--But some things worked out so well... I'm SO GLAD I was able to:
continue working, work helped me get through
--I can get all teary-eyed just thinking about it all again when:
i re-read the poems i have written
--It's sometimes so very difficult. I just wish I could
stay home, until i feel the need to leave, i dont want to deal with
people and school work.
--When it really hit me... when I realized & acknowledged the death, I
went to work. didnt even bother to recognize what had actually
happened for about 3 weeks.
--Regarding MEDICINE, DOCTORS, etc:
amazing gratitude, his thirteen years would have been 3 or 4 if
not for them.
--Regarding MONEY:
we now realized that we were broke and had to give up our house.
--Regarding the FUNERAL:
there were alot of people that i didnt know and i felt resentment
towards them.
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How'd I do? A bit rough
What Helped me most deal with death? Nothing at all
writing poetry about how exactly i felt at the moment, everyday
What Hindered me most in my dealing with death? Avoiding Everything
the expectation of doing well in school because"thats what my father
would have wanted me to do"
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Sat Apr 22 11:35:14 2006
F57 in =South Africa=
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Found us by: [ Web Search: ]
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Most Significant Recent Death Exp was death of Brother, 22 Years ago.
Cause of Death: vehicle accident; Aged: 37.
--Details:
younger brother died at 16 of brain cancer (I was 18)
elder brother killed in accident aged 37 (I was 34)
father died 3 years ago aged 79 (I was 55)
I am now 57
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--Death Is:
We still exist on a different realm, however our bodies are now an
empty shell
--The first time I ever experienced someone's death, I
Had a morbid interest in what his last few minutes were like.
Whether he spoke at all, what he may have said.
--That first time, how it happened was
Brother, brain cancer killed him
--The Most Vivid memory I have of this most recent death is:
When my second brother was killed, I felt I should have been taken
instead.
--One gift for which I shall always be grateful is:
memories
--What was of most support to me in my experience with death was:
family
--And the most difficult for me in my experience with death was:
not having the loved ones around with me anymore
--Regarding just Being There for someone dying, my advice would be:
Allow them to talk about their impending death.
My younger brother told me he was dying (just hours before he died) and I replied "Don't
be silly, of course you're not!" I have deep regret that I did that.
--[My Brother's] death taught me so much. I'd have others know how I:
With both my brothers' and my father's death, I am most grateful
that they knew how much I loved them.
--The most confusing point of death for me was when:
I was with my younger brother when he died. I was with my father
just hours before he died and saw his body before he was moved at
the hospital. When my elder brother was killed I did not see his
body - I did not even see his coffin or his ashes, though I was at
a memorial service. I have never lost the feeling that perhaps he
wasn't killed at all and is still around somewhere.
--Regarding Humor in the death process, I'd just say that:
The day of my father's funeral, we all laughed a lot, great gut
belly laughs - it was what he would have wished for us. It was a sad,
but joyous day.
--Not that it's a regret, but I would like to have better had time to:
Be with my father as his point of death.
--But some things worked out so well... I'm SO GLAD I was able to:
Draw support (and give support) from my mother, husband, children
and close friends and family
--One seemingly minor thing (yet important) which impressed me was when:
It stand out for me that the person I mourned the most was the one
I did not see the body of after death.
--In another dimension of Life where this all had never happened...
Only when I see my brother's now grown up daughter and her little
boy.
--Sometimes I think: It's just not fair...
yes, I've yelled "It's not fair" "Why me?" etc.
--When it really hit me... when I realized & acknowledged the death, I
1. Great sadness for the brother who died of cancer, but relief
that his suffering was over.
2. Absolute shock and horror, in complete denial about it for many years,
for the brother killed in an accident.
3. My father, great sadness, but also pride at a life well lived.
--Regarding CHURCHES, RELIGION, etc:
Many like minded friends supporting us.
--Religious Affiliation:
Christian
--Regarding the FUNERAL:
The crowds of people. It was some comfort to me that our family
were so well supported at all three funerals.
--The weirdest part of it all to me was:
The look of joy on my mother's face when my brother died of cancer
- she said "This is the miracle, he is whole now with the Lord!"
When my older brother was killed, at the time of his death I
was overcome with intense pain between my waist and knees. Bone
crushing pain, I couldn't talk or convey the pain to my family.
It lasted for several minutes, my family were carrying me outside to
the car when the pain left. I assured them I was now fine. I felt
very shakey, but went up to bed. I had no premonition, my brother
did not come to mind. An hour later when the phone rang, we were
told that my brother had been killed instantly from head injuries.
It later transpired that he had lived for a few minutes and been
killed from massive trauma to the mid and upper leg sections of the
body.
Minutes before the recorded death of my father, I asked my
husband to take me to the hospital, because I wanted to stroke his
hair back (something he always enjoyed), after a minute's discussion
about whether the hospital would let me in or not (this was quite
late at night) - we were driving out the driveway when the call
came to say he had died. Once again, I had no premonition - just
an intense feeling that I wanted to be with him.
--RE: Visions from the 'Other Side':
My father talked of people around him, watching him (other than
the family, doctors or nurses) for 2 days prior to his death,
but he didn't seem to recognise who they were.
--RE: After-death visits from our loved ones:
In a way I longed for this - it hasn't happened.
--Any thoughts about your own death?:
I don't fear death - but I do fear how I will die.
--Any Coping Ritual or Event you invented / devised to help you cope:
Only time
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How'd I do? A bit rough
What Helped me most deal with death? Passage of Time
Strong family
What Hindered me most in my dealing with death? Helping Other People cope
- - - Comments on this Questionnaire & collection GuestBook - - -
Yes, I think it has. There are some things not spoken about because
they are too weird - so it was good for me to write it down and
hope that someone understands.
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Wed Apr 5 16:07:46 2006
Anon Guest in =Unknown Locale=
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Found us by: [ Web Search: ]
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Recommended Reading-- Titles:
The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying
Recommended Reading-- Writers:
Sogyal Rinpoche
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Most Significant Recent Death Exp was death of , Years ago.
Aged:
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--Death Is:
a time when our lives are weighed out in a system of good intentions
and bad intentions. if we are prepared for death and have only had
good intentions for life our mind will rest in nirvana and we will
never be brought back to the suffering of life.
--What I think my () culture needs to better learn about death is:
It happens to all of us and is not morbid. We don't need to run
from it because it will happen anyhow. It is important to keep
death with us all the time to make our lives valuable. We should
prepare for death often during life.
--One gift for which I shall always be grateful is:
I am stronger as a person now that I understand death better. I know
now that life can end any time and we rarely know the circumstances.
--What was of most support to me in my experience with death was:
Buddhism class and the Christian faith
--And the most difficult for me in my experience with death was:
Realizing that yes, it will happen to me too. I am not
immortal. Birth was my death sentence.
--Regarding just Being There for someone dying, my advice would be:
compassion, compassion, compassion. not only for others but yourself
as well.
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How'd I do? Adequate
What Helped me most deal with death? Religion/Clergy
What Hindered me most in my dealing with death? Keeping Busy
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See Mar 06 contributions.
See Feb 06 contributions.
See Current contributions.
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