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See Current contributions.
See Feb 06 contributions.
See Jan 06 contributions.
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Fri Mar 31 13:28:01 2006
F21 in Springfield, Illinois =USA=
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Found us by: [ Web Search: ]
yahoo
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Prof/Studies: Student
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Recommended Reading-- Titles:
Letters from the Afterlife
Recommended Reading-- Writers:
Elsa Barker
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Most Significant Recent Death Exp was death of Father, 14 Years ago.
Cause of Death: car accident; Aged: 27.
--Details:
Fell asleep at the wheel, was not wearing seat belt, while coming
home from work one night.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - T O P I C A L S - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
--Death Is:
an extension of life. We are here on Earth for our own personal
journey and death comes when we have gathered all the knowledge
and growth that is neccessay for our best interest here on Earth.
--The first time I ever experienced someone's death, I
was very young and only remember being scared about seeing the body.
--The Most Vivid memory I have of this most recent death is:
that it is still affecting me and those around me even though it
has been 14 years. My father's death affects me everyday in my
relationships and my inability to express emotion. My grandparents
(my father's parents) are going through a divorce that has been in
the making since my father's death. No one really talks about the
accident or my father...so in that way it is still affecting all
of us as well.
--What I think my (USA) culture needs to better learn about death is:
that it is not scary and there doesn't have to be a mourning when
someone dies but rather a celebration of life.
--One gift for which I shall always be grateful is:
the unity of family left behind when someone dies.
--What was of most support to me in my experience with death was:
searching my soul for inner strength and finding it in helping
others.
--And the most difficult for me in my experience with death was:
depression.
--[My GrandMother's] death taught me so much. I'd have others know how I:
became the person of support in my family. I never pegged myself
as a strong person but when my grandma died suddenly I saw that I
was the strongest person in the family and it gave me great joy to
know that I could be there for them.
--The most confusing point of death for me was when:
I couldn't be there in the room with my grandma for her last
breaths. My aunt, uncle, grandpa, mom and step-dad were all there
but my sisters and I could not and I would have liked to be.
--Regarding Humor in the death process, I'd just say that:
it was definitely a way to relieve stress. My sister and I, after
our grandma's death, sat on our front porch, just down the road
from where our family was gathering after the funeral, and we made
up stupid songs and just laughed and laughed and laughed. I don't
think I've ever laughed that hard in my life.
--Not that it's a regret, but I would like to have better had time to:
spend more time with my dad. My mom and dad were divorced when I
was very young and my dad moved away. I saw him a total of maybe
five or six times before he died. I can't remember his voice or if
he ever told me he loved me so for that I wish I could have spent
more time with him.
--But some things worked out so well... I'm SO GLAD I was able to:
talk to my grandma before she died. I was two hours away at college
when she was put in the hospital (from cancer) but the semester
had just ended so I was able to come home. The semester ended on
a Tuesday for me. I was home on Wednesday and she died on that
Friday. It was like she waited for all our family to be there.
--One seemingly minor thing (yet important) which impressed me was when:
my grandma died in the hospital the song they play over the loud
speaker when a baby is born sounded.
--And exactly backwards: what we didn't make a big deal of, was:
the funeral.
--I can get all teary-eyed just thinking about it all again when:
I dream about my grandma because I feel as though she is really
visiting me and it makes me miss her here.
--In another dimension of Life where this all had never happened...
I wonder those things all the time but I am strong enough in my
faith to know that things worked out for the best. For some reason
I lost my father at a young age and for some reason he won't be
walking me down the aisle at my wedding. Perhaps it's because it
allows someone else to take his place as my father. Whatever the
reason I know it was in his best interest and mine.
--Sometimes I think: It's just not fair...
to not know if they are FOR SURE okay and some place better.
--It's sometimes so very difficult. I just wish I could
disconnect from the world and be where they (my departed loved
ones) are.
--When it really hit me... when I realized & acknowledged the death, I
feel like I am dreaming.
--Regarding MEDICINE, DOCTORS, etc:
nothing really. I don't recall the medical community being of
significance in any of my loved ones' deaths.
--Regarding HOSPICE etc:
I wouldn't particularly call it hospice but it was great how my
grandma was able to pass with her family around her and in no pain.
--Regarding CHURCHES, RELIGION, etc:
little. Organzied religion wasn't so much as important as
spirituality. Everybody that was there for my grandma's death were
of different religious affliations but we were all spiritual and
that meant the most.
--Religious Affiliation:
Lutheran (ELCA).
--Regarding ONENESS of SPIRIT, etc:
very real.
--Regarding MONEY:
I can't recall.
--Regarding the FUNERAL:
everybody was there primarily for us and secondarily for my grandma.
--The weirdest part of it all to me was:
that when my grandma died we had not yet contacted her mother,
my great-grandma, about her death. Yet when we called her, my
great-grandma, she said she knew because my gradma came to her
in sleep.
--SOME OF THE COMMON SIGNS OF DEATH :
a lot of sleeping. My grandma also seemed to be in two worlds
almost. Sometimes when she spoke she spoke of angels and things we
didn't understand.
--SOME OF THE COMMON STAGES OF GRIEF:
there wasn't a lot of denial and I moved quickly to depression and
stayed there for a long time.
--RE: Visions from the 'Other Side':
I mentioned earlier that my grandma spoke about angels and other
things we could not understand.
--RE: After-death visits from our loved ones:
My grandma came to me in dreams frequently after she died. She still
comes but not as often. She doesn't seem to offer an messages except
for that she's there for me always. I was also visited in a dream
by my father once when I was in high school (about 5 or 6 years
after the accident). He only hugged me and when I awoke I still felt
like he was hugging me. The loved one I most frequently get visits
from is my great-grandmother on my mom's side. There is a certain
silliness about her visits, like she's there to have fun with me.
--Regarding Rights & Wishes of the Dying:
I would want the people who do not want to respect the rights and
wishes of the dying to know that that is very selfish behavior.
--Any thoughts about your own death?:
I have thought about these things. I can't say I have any fear
about my own death. I am confident that where I go when I die is
some place peaceful and beautiful and that I will enjoy it and not
lose anything that I had loved on Earth. If I were to know that
I would die very soon I think I would take special care to let my
wishes be known about how I would like my body to handled and how
I would like the remembrance services to go. I would also share my
feelings with everyone I cared about.
--Any Coping Ritual or Event you invented / devised to help you cope:
After my grandma died I had to go back to college for summer
school. I was oddly enough taking a class called "Death and Dying
in the Modern World" A lot of things came up in that class that
helped me cope with her death.
--Any New Friends emerge in the shared grieving process of Death?
After the death of my grandma, my grandpa and I became very close. I
am only his step-granddaughter and never felt particularly close
to him or my grandma for that matter but I now feel like we are
the closest.
- - - - - P e r s o n a l H i s t o r y - - - - -
How'd I do? Adequate
What Helped me most deal with death? Distractions
What Hindered me most in my dealing with death? Nothing at all
--As for reaching out helping others now as part of my healing process:
I reached out to help many people in my family when my grandma
died. I helped my mother with things around our house while my mom
was down at my grandpa's house helping.
- - - Comments on this Questionnaire & collection GuestBook - - -
It has been helpful. I didn't realize how certain and comfortable
I was about my own death.
- - - Any other questions you feel we should have asked here?
I think you need to offer more questions about the rights and wishes
of the dying. Your question on the topic isn't set up to draw out
much information.
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Sat Mar 25 08:24:03 2006
F51 in ohiousa = ?? =
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Found us by: [ Stumbled on it ]
google search on "bardo"
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Most Significant Recent Death Exp was death of Best Friend, 1 Years ago.
Cause of Death: car-pedestrian accident; Aged: .
--Details:
She was over worked in her job, came home late at night, left her
car running at the end of her drive way, and crossed the road to
the mail box to get her mail. Witness says she stood and allowed
one car to pass, and apparently was blinded by headlights of an
oncoming car, and stepped right in front of it, and was killed.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - T O P I C A L S - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
--Death Is:
a new beginning, with a period of rest, where you review what
you have accomplished, and determine what you still have to learn
to evolve, and then choose another life to come back, and do it
over again.
--The first time I ever experienced someone's death, I
was too little to fully understand.
--The Most Vivid memory I have of this most recent death is:
Is she came to me twice in the form of energy that felt like a
pleasant tingling all over my body. The first time, was shortly
after she died, and I did not know what was happening. I told mt
husband about feeling the energy. About 3 hours later, the phone
rang with news that my friend had been killed, and it was late
at night. Everyone in the house was up for a while. Later, when I
went back to bed, the energy came to me again ,and I knew it was
her saying good-bye, and letting me know it's not over.
--What I think my () culture needs to better learn about death is:
it's not an ending.
--One gift for which I shall always be grateful is:
That my friend felt I was important enough to connect with after she
moved to the next level. It has also left me wondering as rationale
for other's who have died, not leaving behind such a remembrance.
--What was of most support to me in my experience with death was:
Becoming a psychiatric-mental health nurse practitioner, who
specializes in grief ,and being able ot help others who have
suffered loses
--And the most difficult for me in my experience with death was:
Things left undone
--Regarding just Being There for someone dying, my advice would be:
to tell him/her that it is okay to move on, that I will be all right,
and go towards the light, we'll meet again
--[My Best Friend's] death taught me so much. I'd have others know how I:
received a visitation after she died, and it is proof that there
is no death
--The most confusing point of death for me was when:
people think a dead person has to be preserved in a box in some
field. Why not just cremate and spinkle? Ashes to ashes, dust to
dust - it just gets you there faster, and doesn't take up good land
that could be used for the living.
--Regarding Humor in the death process, I'd just say that:
It's the anxiety and tension of the moment, and way to release. Some
say the tears of happiness and of sadness are the same. Perhaps it
is so for laughter as well.
--Not that it's a regret, but I would like to have better had time to:
do one more fun excursion together
--But some things worked out so well... I'm SO GLAD I was able to:
get up and speak at her funeral, play a good song, and make people
laugh and cry.
--One seemingly minor thing (yet important) which impressed me was when:
Ardelle visited me after she died
--And exactly backwards: what we didn't make a big deal of, was:
having funeral. Just a time of celebrating a life is important to me
--I can get all teary-eyed just thinking about it all again when:
I see the Christmas gifts I bought for her that we had not had time
to share
--In another dimension of Life where this all had never happened...
I think it's just energy, and we are all connected by the energy
of all that is.
--Sometimes I think: It's just not fair...
life isn't fair
--It's sometimes so very difficult. I just wish I could
Go and spend a little time over there and come back with an elevated
paradym
--When it really hit me... when I realized & acknowledged the death, I
Of course, shock, dibelief, sadness that we had more to do together.
--Regarding MEDICINE, DOCTORS, etc:
Respeck - as I am a member of the medical community
--Regarding HOSPICE etc:
N/A
--Regarding CHURCHES, RELIGION, etc:
nothing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
--Religious Affiliation:
I am a spiritual person, always seeking to elevate my consciousness.
--Regarding ONENESS of SPIRIT, etc:
We are all of us in the Mississippi River, and we can choose to
take many paths on tributaries, creeks, etc., but eventually, we are
all back in the Mississippi, and heading out to the Atlantic Ocean.
--Regarding MONEY:
It is ridiculous how much funeral costs!!!! I would rather spend
the money on the person when he/she is still alive.
--Regarding the FUNERAL:
How funerals are so much better when there is no
minister/priest/clergy to preach, and just people standing up
and reminiscing
--The weirdest part of it all to me was:
wanting the world to slow down, but life goes on.
--SOME OF THE COMMON SIGNS OF DEATH :
Mottling of the lower extremities.
--SOME OF THE COMMON STAGES OF GRIEF:
it is important to be there at the end
--RE: Visions from the 'Other Side':
My grnadmothe saw nd talked with my dead cousning before her passing
--RE: Near Death Experiences:
I have twice been in tunnel during self healing processes, and saw
beautiful colors and symbols.
--How might you deal with yet unresolved issues from a death?:
I knwo she has plently of time to prepare our next adventure,
and it's going to be good
--If we were to visit one last conversation...
I accomplished this by way of a psychic
--RE: After-death visits from our loved ones:
See above
--Regarding Rights & Wishes of the Dying:
DO NOT put O2 on me, and I want to be cremated and sprinkled.
--Any thoughts about your own death?:
I would like to be around if/when I have any grandchildren, but
I'm ready
--What might you like your obit to say of you:
My favorite color is green, the color of the heart chakra, and that I
loved people, and tried to stop the pain where ever I encountered it.
--Any Coping Ritual or Event you invented / devised to help you cope:
Spoke with psychic
--Any Coping Rituals or Events which have carried over into your life?
Meditation to create a gap - Eckart Tolle
--Any New Friends emerge in the shared grieving process of Death?
The universe allowed me to connect with someone about qa year before
Ardelle passes, with whom I can pass on all that I learned from her.
- - - - - P e r s o n a l H i s t o r y - - - - -
How'd I do? Well
What Helped me most deal with death? Passage of Time
Having to be responsible for care and upbringing of 3 younger
sisters, as mother went into deep depression, and did not emerge
from her bedroom for any long period of time for 3 years.
What Hindered me most in my dealing with death? Helping Other People cope
--As for reaching out helping others now as part of my healing process:
I have been in service ot people most of all my life, and just
be there.
- - - Comments on this Questionnaire & collection GuestBook - - -
Sad for my loss, but happy for the one who has crossed over, and
gets their reward
- - - Any other questions you feel we should have asked here?
N/S
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Mon Mar 20 10:45:24 2006
F28 in Marietta, Georgia =USA=
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Found us by: [ Stumbled on it ]
dogpile search for "dying process"
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Prof/Studies: Homemaker
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Recommended Reading-- Titles:
The Bible
Recommended Reading-- Writers:
The Lord God through his prophets and disciples.
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Most Significant Recent Death Exp was death of GrandFather, 1 Days ago.
Cause of Death: complications from stroke; Aged: 79.
--Details:
My grandfather suffered a hemorraghic stroke after his daily
swim on a Monday afternoon. After monitoring in ICU for 5 days,
he was moved to a regular room on Saturday. When we went to visit
him on Sunday, he was in a coma and his breathing was labored and
quick at first, then throughout the day, he lost kidney and liver
function. His breathing became more shallow and the time between
breaths lengthened. Finally, he drew his last breath, and we watched
his pulse in his neck as his heart stopped beating.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - T O P I C A L S - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
--Death Is:
the opposite of birth. Our bodies take 9 months to go from single
cell to complete human beings. While organs are switched on the womb,
they turn off at death. In my experience where the heart has been
the first organ to work, it has been the last organ to turn off.
--The first time I ever experienced someone's death, I
was relieved that the suffering was over, that they were being
reunited with loved ones who had gone before. I was sad for my
remaining family and anxious about the after death responsibilities.
I cried, I felt guilt for not spending enough time with them before
they passed.
--The Most Vivid memory I have of this most recent death is:
The awesomeness of life itself, and the design of our Creator.
We spent time as a family during the final hours of my grandfather,
just holding his hand and stroking his head telling him that it was
o.k. We were all there with him and loved him so much. He was in a
coma, but I believe that he heard us...my father said a prayer aloud
in the room thanking God for our grandfather and his testimony and
example and thanking Him for our time with him on earth. We praised
the Lord for him, and as soon as my dad said "amen", my grandfather
took his last breath. I held his hand as his heart stopped beating,
and just knew that he was in heaven.
--What I think my (USA) culture needs to better learn about death is:
death is graceful, it is powerful, it is beautiful when the wishes
of the dying are carried out. When the body is allowed to work as
it was created, death is amazing and awe-inspiring.
--One gift for which I shall always be grateful is:
The grace with which my grandfather passed, and the priviledge of
being there with him when he died.
--What was of most support to me in my experience with death was:
The love of my family and the hope that comes from the faith that
we have that we will see him again with bodies that do not get sick!
--And the most difficult for me in my experience with death was:
missing his bodily presence with us and sharing our lives with him.
--Regarding just Being There for someone dying, my advice would be:
Talk to them, even if they don't respond, I believe they can hear
are longing to hear you say that it's ok to go. The same affection
you give to a baby who has just entered the earth, is the same
affection someone needs who is leaving it.
--[My GrandFather's] death taught me so much. I'd have others know how I:
am no longer afraid of facing my own death. It does not hold the
same power of fear or uncertainty over me anymore...I have looked
it square in the eye, and it is not the worst thing that can happen
to me.
--The most confusing point of death for me was when:
I realized I would have to explain this phenomenon to my children,
and wondering why I cry when I talk about his passing even though
I am so happy for him.
--Regarding Humor in the death process, I'd just say that:
death is so much a part of life, and our bodies are amazing...we
laugh and enjoy each other's company and our bodies and minds protect
us even in our emotional states. I really believe that our spirit
knows that we are only passing through on earth, and our sadness
is out of selfishness, our true self is happy for those who go Home.
--Not that it's a regret, but I would like to have better had time to:
spend a bit more time just visiting and listening to my
grandfather. Even though we were close, the last year we had both
been very busy, and I wish we had just had more opportunities
together.
--But some things worked out so well... I'm SO GLAD I was able to:
be there in the end for him.
--One seemingly minor thing (yet important) which impressed me was when:
Just the timing of the end of our final prayer and his last
breath...it confirmed my faith to me in an even more concrete way.
--When it really hit me... when I realized & acknowledged the death, I
realized that my parents were now the patriarch/matriarch of my
family and that I would be caring for them and watching them go
one day too.
--Regarding CHURCHES, RELIGION, etc:
Our belief in God and His Son Jesus who by dying on the cross became
a sacrifice for our sins, making it possible for us to have personal
relationship with God and ensuring that if we accept this truth on
faith alone we will live with Him for eternity in heaven after our
death or upon his return.
--Religious Affiliation:
Christian - non denominational
--Regarding MONEY:
my grandfather was a good planner and had a healthy estate that
was untouched because of his investment in a good supplemental
insurance plan.
- - - - - P e r s o n a l H i s t o r y - - - - -
How'd I do? Adequate
What Helped me most deal with death? My Belief System
I know that she is with our Heavenly Father and she wanted to go...
What Hindered me most in my dealing with death? Guilt
I wished that I had spent more time with her.
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Tue Mar 14 13:11:28 2006
F42 in atlanta, georgia = ?? =
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Found us by: [ Class Project of: ]
research and assessment
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More personal info:
I would loke to have the results of the study sent to my email
address of kimberlybowen.at.yahoo.com
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Recommended Reading-- Titles:
Recommended Reading-- Writers:
Joyce Meyers, T.D. Jakes, and Bishop Eddie Long
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Most Significant Recent Death Exp was death of Sister, 15 Years ago.
Cause of Death: cancer; Aged: 25.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - T O P I C A L S - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
--Death Is:
a gateway into eternal life.
--The first time I ever experienced someone's death, I
was very determined to be strong but fell apart after the death
--The Most Vivid memory I have of this most recent death is:
giving up on life
--What I think my () culture needs to better learn about death is:
Just because you cry doesn't mean you are not being strong
--One gift for which I shall always be grateful is:
my sister and I were able to talk to eath other alot and tell each
other how we appreciated each other
--What was of most support to me in my experience with death was:
God
--And the most difficult for me in my experience with death was:
the separation
--Regarding just Being There for someone dying, my advice would be:
if they want to talk about the death, allow them to
--[My Sister's] death taught me so much. I'd have others know how I:
was able to talk about the death and after death
--The most confusing point of death for me was when:
why my sister had to die so young
--Regarding Humor in the death process, I'd just say that:
It was strange
--Not that it's a regret, but I would like to have better had time to:
take more pictures or vidoe tape my sister more
--But some things worked out so well... I'm SO GLAD I was able to:
go to the morge and help assessorize my sister for the funeral
--One seemingly minor thing (yet important) which impressed me was when:
My sister came to gripps with her death and sang victory songs
--And exactly backwards: what we didn't make a big deal of, was:
her appearance in the hospital
--I can get all teary-eyed just thinking about it all again when:
I think about how much we loved each other
--In another dimension of Life where this all had never happened...
we would live happily in heaven and never have sorrows and death
again
--Sometimes I think: It's just not fair...
that my sister died so young
--It's sometimes so very difficult. I just wish I could
die myself
--When it really hit me... when I realized & acknowledged the death, I
extreme shock and sadness
--Regarding MEDICINE, DOCTORS, etc:
satisfaction
--Regarding HOSPICE etc:
they were awesome
--Regarding CHURCHES, RELIGION, etc:
everything
--Religious Affiliation:
Christian
--Regarding ONENESS of SPIRIT, etc:
peaceful
--Regarding MONEY:
there was too little of it
--Regarding the FUNERAL:
my sister was greatly loved
--The weirdest part of it all to me was:
that I really wanted to die with her
--SOME OF THE COMMON SIGNS OF DEATH :
the last minute sounds of dying
--SOME OF THE COMMON STAGES OF GRIEF:
I didn't see any othe stages until after the death
--RE: Visions from the 'Other Side':
that she went to heaven at the same time that she would have been
up and attending church service.
--RE: Near Death Experiences:
my sister had visions of sitting on her tomb stone watching people
who came to visit her
--How might you deal with yet unresolved issues from a death?:
my state of affairs were awesome. We made peace with each other
and shared all the way to the end
--If we were to visit one last conversation...
I don't have any last minute things that I wished I had said
--RE: After-death visits from our loved ones:
nothing
--Regarding Rights & Wishes of the Dying:
If I have to be on life support in order to keep breathing, I would
rather be dead.
--Any thoughts about your own death?:
I would make sure my relationship with the Lord is in tact
--What might you like your obit to say of you:
Her is a girl who truly loved God.
--Any Coping Ritual or Event you invented / devised to help you cope:
praying
--Any Coping Rituals or Events which have carried over into your life?
no
--Any New Friends emerge in the shared grieving process of Death?
none
- - - - - P e r s o n a l H i s t o r y - - - - -
What Helped me most deal with death? Prayers
What Hindered me most in my dealing with death? Avoiding Everything
--As for reaching out helping others now as part of my healing process:
I reached out by helping others that were in the hospital at the
same time
- - - Comments on this Questionnaire & collection GuestBook - - -
It brought back hidden feelings
- - - Any other questions you feel we should have asked here?
no
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Sun Mar 12 19:54:32 2006
Anon Guest in =Unknown Locale=
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Found us by: [ Web Search: ]
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Most Significant Recent Death Exp was death of Aunt, 9 Years ago.
Cause of Death: murder; Aged: 36.
--Details:
She was on a lake with her husband, who was charged with her murder
after hitting her on the head and knocking her into the water,
causing her to drown.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - T O P I C A L S - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
--Death Is:
Taking away someone we love, and never getting them back. It is
bittersweet, but mostly bitter. Knowing they are in heaven is
comforting, but it doesn't usually take away the pain of losing
someone.
--The first time I ever experienced someone's death, I
was young and didn't fully understand.
--What I think my () culture needs to better learn about death is:
That our lives will go on, in a different way than we may have
planned, and our loved ones are in a better place.
--Sometimes I think: It's just not fair...
I sometimes get jealous of my older brother and sister for getting
to spend more time with my grandpa when we wasn't sick. I only have
one memory of him being alive and it makes me sad.
- - - - - P e r s o n a l H i s t o r y - - - - -
How'd I do? Adequate
What Helped me most deal with death? Family's Sensitivities
Being too young to really understand
What Hindered me most in my dealing with death? Memories to hold
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Fri Mar 10 21:54:23 2006
F25 in Kingston, Tasmania =Australia=
Name: Renee Lawler
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Found us by: [ Web Search: ]
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Prof/Studies: Bachelor of Arts 2nd Year(psych aim)
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Recommended Reading-- Titles:
Healing with the Angels, The Lightworkers Way, Messages from Your
Angels/Crossing Over etc/ The Other Side and Back, Life on the
Other Side etc
Recommended Reading-- Writers:
Doreen Virtue (Psychology PhD/Spiritualist) John Edward(Spirit
Medium) Sylvia Brown(Spirit Medium/Clairvoyant) Raymond Buckland
(The Complete Witches Handbook) Ralph Blum's rune Stones and
Book. all writers with many books on their lives/guidance/teachings
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Most Significant Recent Death Exp was death of Mother-in-Law, 1 1/2 Months ago.
Cause of Death: cancer; Aged: 45?.
--Details:
this person was no longer my mother in law, but had been three
years ago for six years. i had kept in constant contact woth her
and the family.this death was impending and i was too frightened
to see her because i didnt think she wanted anyone around much. i
later find this to be untrue. i knew thought that i would watch
her die, from cancer specifically... i just KNEW. but my reasoning
for this was that she held on to so much negativity and became
hysterical everytime she couldnt control everyone and everything
in her life. she created excessive stress in her life.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - T O P I C A L S - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
--Death Is:
when the job you have come down to earth is complete; when you have
learned all the lessons you set for yourself to learn and experienced
all those things you wanted to when you came here. its like going
to school, and then graduating. death is the time that you (your
soul) decides to depart the physical body and return to where all
spirits abide.... a dimension our humanly eyes cannot see becuse
the frequency of this place is too fast. this is where we came from
before this incarnation, and, apart from certain circumstances,
this is where we will reunite with all those who have returned
before us and all the other "people" we have ever known who arent
currently in an incarnation. so death is a celebratory thing for
those who have "died" for it means that you achieved your learning
goal. those who wish to come back can.... nothing is imposed upon
you. you are free to choose whatever happens next, in a sense. haha
i could go on for ages..sorry.
--The first time I ever experienced someone's death, I
well, a persons death.... that would be my pop. i totally dissociated
from it, like i did and still do with most things. the shock was
just so severe, i couldnt face it or think about it. didnt cry
at the funeral. i became very good at that. i wondered what had
happened. where was he?? i hadnt seen his body, so it seemed so
surreal that i wasnt sure if he would just turn up one day. how
could he go when i needed him?? i had lived with him and my nan
for a lot of my life (mentally sick mother) so he was the only
father figure i had ever known. it made me feel more unstable.i
wouls talk to him a fair bit after he died.this would be the same
for my dog. they happened not very far apart when i was around 14.
--The Most Vivid memory I have of this most recent death is:
my mother being more devastated than my heart and mind could
handle. i hurt for her. she had been closest to him, and because
of her mental state (axis 1 in psychology) she couldnt cope with
that sort of thing. particularly when he was the closest to her,
and he also was the most like her for he had paranoid schizophrenia,
which had been under control since i was little.
--What I think my (Australia) culture needs to better learn about death is:
is not what they think it is. this comes from personal beliefs. they
need to realise that death is not the end and that they should
not feel bad for the person who has died. where they are now is
a better place. this is because they are no longer in any pain or
doscomfort... no longer plagued by negativity, hate, blame etc. all
they see is love and they can see/visit whoever they like whenever
they like. they are more concerned with how you down here are doing
and getting on with your life. also that when it is their time
to cross over, they will see them again. and in the entirety of
eternity, even if 20 humanly years have passed, on the other side,
it will seem like a mere nanosecond.
--One gift for which I shall always be grateful is:
i dont understnad what this question is asking.... i will attempt.
you truly learn to appreciate someone once they are gone and you
realise how much you really love them. death teaches you many
lessons. it can teach one to "validate and appreciate the time you
have today with your loved ones" (John Edward, Crossing Over TV
Show and Book)
--What was of most support to me in my experience with death was:
my books and John Edwards TV Show. it all makes you feel closer to
the other side/heaven/whatever the name its all the same.
--And the most difficult for me in my experience with death was:
realising that they are no longer there. when my ex mother in
law died, the hardest part for me was watching the utter apin
and despair that my ex, his father and the rest of the family was
in. apart from when my dog died, i am seriously in agony about the
way in which i can see it affecting the ohters who love them too
rather than myself first.
--Regarding just Being There for someone dying, my advice would be:
tell them you love them. treat them the same. be open to discuss
whatever they want to talk aboput. if they wish to talk about their
impending death, let them. just let them know theya re not alone
and be with them as much as you can. but do not let them aware if
you feel sorry for them. that they might not appreciate.
--[My Mother-in-Law's] death taught me so much. I'd have others know how I:
yes, i actually just realised that i have learned something from
this death.... this woman was the most controlling, vindictive
person i had ever and will ever meet, although she was good to
me and i loved her. i held strong grudges toward her for thge way
she treated others and lived her life, bu tnow i realise it is all
wasted energy. it didnt change anything. it only hurt me by causing
stress. she would have learned her lesson from this now she has
crossed over.i loved her so why hold a grudge. now i just feel
guilty. DON'T HOLD GRUDGES. RATHER SIMPLY ADMIT YOU DON'T AGREE
AND THEN FORGET ABOUT IT.
--The most confusing point of death for me was when:
they die, and are gone. they dont move, talk, anything. a lifeless
carcass. where are they? you wonder. there they are, but also there
they arent.
--Regarding Humor in the death process, I'd just say that:
i didnt laugh at any point. i find this rather odd..... poor people
dont know how to organise and deal with their emotions in a big
way i suppose.is it only certain personality types which display
this behaviour i wonder...
--Not that it's a regret, but I would like to have better had time to:
spend more time with her. i wanted to talk to her about death because
i knew that she wanted to have that conversation with me. there wasnt
ime. luckily she got to have her conversation with our clairvoyant
friend, who was the next best person. so im glad.
--But some things worked out so well... I'm SO GLAD I was able to:
oh my god this was definately divinely inspired i thought.... the
day of the funeral, my ex's new wife mentioned to by best mate that
i could come to their house with them for the afterparty because
she wanted to put all our stuff behind her (we had been in constant
battle ever since they got together. she was just so spiteful and
asggressive. i didnt like her personality and it caused problems
coz we have all the smae friends and were young so out all the
time. it caused problems for many). after hearing what she said,
i initiated contact, hugged her and made up. i also grabbed my ex
and told him we have to make up. it was great.
--One seemingly minor thing (yet important) which impressed me was when:
i put the piece of lavendar in her grave.
--And exactly backwards: what we didn't make a big deal of, was:
what she was wearing in her coffin and what we wore to respect her
--I can get all teary-eyed just thinking about it all again when:
i recall how her husband sat at the side of the grave in front of
everyone, spoke to her out loud and just started bsalling. thqat
will haunt me for the rest of my life. her death alone does not
illicit tears in me. but that image if him does.
--In another dimension of Life where this all had never happened...
?
--Sometimes I think: It's just not fair...
that no one is noticing how much i am hurt and want to help all
the others who are hurt. im angry you all dont notice how close "Ï"
am/was to her. our relationship wass o special!!!!! i was mad coz
i wanted everyone to know this, although they did, but they didnt
show me it. i think i actuallly wanted more attention and i think
i know why.
--It's sometimes so very difficult. I just wish I could
?
--When it really hit me... when I realized & acknowledged the death, I
oh my god. feelings that deep are difficult to put on paper. there
are no words. felt as if my body would fall limp to the
floor. the world has ended. the poor family. i hope they dont
harm themselves. all i want to do is go to them, hug them and not
let them, go so they know that they are safe. my ex didnt like me
anymore and we werent talking. i care about him so deeply because
we were together so long he felt like a part of me and i knew him so
well. i knew how he would be feeling and how it would affect him. i
was so concerened. all i wanted and felt like i needed to was rush
and hug him all better. bu ti couldnt do that. the sight of him
broke my heart in this instance. i felt as if he needed me and he
was de4nying his need for me. therefore he wouldnt be allright.
--Regarding MEDICINE, DOCTORS, etc:
respect for how she was looked after in the whittle ward. it was a
beautiful ward and im glad they care enough to create a beautiful
environment.
--Regarding HOSPICE etc:
scared.
--Regarding CHURCHES, RELIGION, etc:
nothing at all. they lie and twist the words of the holy masters. and
they are vdery judgemental of others regardless of what they
say. they believe their way is the only true way. but it meant
something to her so...
--Religious Affiliation:
it is obvious already it think haha. sometimes i call myself
a witch, but i am more of just a spiritualist now. open to all
things basically with a belief in the spirit world and a reason
for everything
--Regarding ONENESS of SPIRIT, etc:
completely right and healthy. it is good for people. it lessens
the impact of death i feel.
--Regarding MONEY:
we all donated money toward the wake and he got almost enough to pay
for the ot. worked out well. whole funeral was preplanned and paid.
--Regarding the FUNERAL:
everyone drops grudges and unites. everyone is allowed to cry and
do not judge, even if just for that day. all the friends we know
were ther.
--The weirdest part of it all to me was:
that i couldnt hear her voice anymore and i dont see her in the
street.
--SOME OF THE COMMON SIGNS OF DEATH :
i wasnt ther.
--RE: Visions from the 'Other Side':
i did not expect you to say anything like that. this is exactly
my belief system. im sure she was greeted in this manner. she has
visited my sister twice because she is the most sensitive of us all
and i think she is busy watching over her husband.she believed to a
degree this stuff too. we were both withches at a time but i think
she forgeot abouti t a bit
--RE: Near Death Experiences:
my clairvoyant friend. an unseen face... grabbed her hand gently
(she was not sick though). a white bright light with a buzzing sound
she says is the soiund of the universe. the unseen person ewas going
to take her. she was aware that she didnt know who this person was,
so was unsure, but it was so beautiful that she wanted to go. a
knowingness cam e over her, telling her that if she didnt want to
go, all she had to do was to speak, so she did because she would
only go if she knew who the person was and that she knew that if
she went she wouldnt be comung back.
--How might you deal with yet unresolved issues from a death?:
the way she controlled people and even me, [articularly her son.
--If we were to visit one last conversation...
tell her how much i love her and how influential she had been in my
life. that she was a uniquely sdpaecial person whose life purpose
was to teach to many .... on many levels
i woulnt feel so much
guilt about the grudges i held
--RE: After-death visits from our loved ones:
there is so much. if you want to know more, i give permission for you
to contact me renee lawler rllawler.at.postoffice.sandybay.utas.edu.au
i have experiencved many as have most of the people i know. i
mentioned my dog before.... he came to me before the mentioned
time. i had balled yself to sleep over his death. i had recently
gotten a new puppy, prior to his death. with mind to mind
transference, he said "dont worry about me...just worry about raja"
which was the puppy. the one imentioned before was actually a little
different to what i said.he came to us and showed us how he died
because we didnt know and were distraught. it was confirmed by dog
pound.... 1080 poison.
--Any thoughts about your own death?:
i cannot think abput that. its not something i can cope with. if i
died, how would my loved ones be affected?? that is my great concern.
--What might you like your obit to say of you:
she truly had good intentions beneath her stressful exterior. if
she had it her way, everyone who was needy in any way would have
been taken care of.
--Any Coping Ritual or Event you invented / devised to help you cope:
yep. with mother in law, wrote special things in a card. didnt
feel right putting it in her grave because relatives might have
gotten upset, so i took it home and burned it in the fireplace to
symbolically send it to her.
--Any Coping Rituals or Events which have carried over into your life?
i do things all the time. mainly i just talk to the deceased,
the angels and my guides. i also do magic in the form of creative
visualisation, tarot and runes to name but a few.
--Any New Friends emerge in the shared grieving process of Death?
yep. my ex's wife.
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How'd I do? A bit rough
What Helped me most deal with death? Crying and Crying
my dog "visited" myself, my mum and my sister simultaneously with
a message for us to not worry about him.
What Hindered me most in my dealing with death? Knew it was coming
i knew for months he would go. i had been dreaming of it and had
concious intuitions that i felt were preparing me for it.
--As for reaching out helping others now as part of my healing process:
i wanted to be able to cry about it to my boyfriend, but it didnt
end up happening because we were fighting and he moved out on
the day of the funeral, so at that time we werent as close so i
couldnt. by the time we felt better about each other i felkt too
m=cuch time had passed and i had sort of healed.
- - - Comments on this Questionnaire & collection GuestBook - - -
it has made me sad, but not necessarily in abd way. it mad eme
realise a few things abput myself and be honest with myself. it
helped to deal a bit better with things.
- - - Any other questions you feel we should have asked here?
a few questions on the lower half of the middle were a little
vague and not very clear what was being asked. slight rewording
perhaps. other than that, good and helpful.
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See Feb 06 contributions.
See Jan 06 contributions.
See Current contributions.
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