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See Current contributions.
See Mar 02 contributions.
See Feb 02 contributions.
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Sat Apr 27 20:12:04 2002
F14 in texas = ?? =
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Found us by: [ Web Search: ]
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Most Significant Recent Death Exp was death of Great GrandMother, Weeks ago.
Cause of Death: was already old; Aged: 97.
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1st Death event occurred in my life at: Still has not
What Helped me most deal with death? Distractions
What Hindered me most in my dealing with death? Family's Sensitivities
F14 in texas = ?? =
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Sat Apr 27 12:39:22 2002
F14 in keynsham, bristol =england=
Name: louise
Email: <seymore_cat=at=btopenworld.com>
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Found us by: [ Stumbled on it ]
i like filling in questionnares so i typed in questionnares on
yahoo and this one came up
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Prof/Studies: evans
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--Death Is:
the end of this life into another or absoloute eternal peace
--One gift for which I shall always be grateful is:
the poem death is not the end by some old bugger
--Regarding just Being There for someone dying, my advice would be:
make sure you go up
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1st Death event occurred in my life at: Teen Ager
How'd I do? Well
What Helped me most deal with death? Other:
he didnt actually die which isnt very useful,but i know that if
someone like a grandparent dies il b ok because im not afraid
of death.
What Hindered me most in my dealing with death? Nothing at all
nothing.i found out for myself what death is all about and iv never
really been afraid of it
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Thu Apr 18 22:59:58 2002
M37 in Apple Valley, Ca =USA=
Name: Becky
Email: <happygirl64=at=charter.net>
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Found us by: [ Web Search: ]
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Prof/Studies: student, nursing
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Most Significant Recent Death Exp was death of Mother, 17 Years ago.
Cause of Death: cancer; Aged: 56.
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--Death Is:
when our bodies cease to live, but our spirit, the thing that makes
us who we are, goes to heaven
--The first time I ever experienced someone's death, I
felt like all of life was plastic, nothing was sure or real
--That first time, how it happened was
My Grandfather shot himself in the head...I did not see this, but it
was surreal to me that someone I had all my life was suddenly gone.
--The Most Vivid memory I have of this most recent death is:
I remember I was glad that my Mom was no longer in pain, but that
my life would be so lonely without her on my side.
--What I think my (USA) culture needs to better learn about death is:
is to celebrate the person's life instead of being so sad
--One gift for which I shall always be grateful is:
understanding that God is in control and knowing he holds me in
his hand
--What was of most support to me in my experience with death was:
support groups
--And the most difficult for me in my experience with death was:
awkward friends who don't know what to say...some people avoid you
when you're mourning
--Regarding just Being There for someone dying, my advice would be:
listening, listening, listening
--[My Daughter's] death taught me so much. I'd have others know how I:
grew closer to God
--The most confusing point of death for me was when:
my daughter died, when we were great, willing parents and the couple
down the hall were hurtful, uncaring parents and had a living baby
--Not that it's a regret, but I would like to have better had time to:
talk more with my grandfather, been closer to him.
--But some things worked out so well... I'm SO GLAD I was able to:
talk to my grandmother and cousins about him.
--One seemingly minor thing (yet important) which impressed me was when:
I noticed how we were "supposed" to deal with it all...people
seemed angry
--I can get all teary-eyed just thinking about it all again when:
someone elses' loved one dies
--In another dimension of Life where this all had never happened...
I think about what would life be like with My mom and having her
here to love my kids.
--Sometimes I think: It's just not fair...
ditto
--When it really hit me... when I realized & acknowledged the death, I
(grandfather) this must be a mistake
--Regarding MEDICINE, DOCTORS, etc:
neutral
--Regarding HOSPICE etc:
great...it is wonderful
--Regarding CHURCHES, RELIGION, etc:
christianity
--Religious Affiliation:
Christianity
--Regarding MONEY:
if you don't have it, your loved one will not be buried...we were
lucky to have my Mother in law pay for our daughter's funeral.
with out her, we couldn't have had a funeral
--Regarding the FUNERAL:
It's always so sad, and the professionals are always wonderful.
--The weirdest part of it all to me was:
wanting to hold my baby after we had already buried her
--SOME OF THE COMMON SIGNS OF DEATH :
to understand the final process...the breathing and that they won't
be struggling for air
--RE: Visions from the 'Other Side':
When my Grandmother died, she came to be in a dream with her "no
gray" hair and said "Hi" in her squeaky voice and did back flips
through the grass in heaven. I usually don't believe it when people
tell me stories like this, but I knew she was really there.
--Regarding Rights & Wishes of the Dying:
I'm not sure yet
--Any thoughts about your own death?:
I hope it's not a car accident
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1st Death event occurred in my life at: Teen Ager
How'd I do? Adequate
What Helped me most deal with death? Passage of Time
What Hindered me most in my dealing with death? Other:
my mom was insensitive...she thought I wasn't close to him and
didn't understand my tears
--As for reaching out helping others now as part of my healing process:
I am becoming a nurse so I can help bereaved parents of newborns
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Thu Apr 18 07:52:29 2002
Anon Guest in =Unknown Locale=
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Found us by: [ Class Project ]
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Most Significant Recent Death Exp was death of Aunt, 7 Years ago.
Cause of Death: car accident; Aged: 18.
--Details:
it was very traumatizing because she was so young and we are so
close in age
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--Death Is:
a person's body is no longer able to function
--The first time I ever experienced someone's death, I
really didn't understand what was going on
--The Most Vivid memory I have of this most recent death is:
my heart pounding so loudly and feeling weak
--What I think my () culture needs to better learn about death is:
finding other ways to deal with death besides going out here and
getting drunk and high when someone dies
--And the most difficult for me in my experience with death was:
trying not to cry everytime I thought about the person who passed
--Sometimes I think: It's just not fair...
why did they have to die.
--When it really hit me... when I realized & acknowledged the death, I
just couldn't believe it
--Regarding CHURCHES, RELIGION, etc:
a lot of support and prayer
--Regarding MONEY:
it was not an issue, not of importance at the time
--The weirdest part of it all to me was:
trying to remain calm at the funeral
--Any Coping Ritual or Event you invented / devised to help you cope:
no ritual, just time
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1st Death event occurred in my life at: Young Child
How'd I do? Adequate
What Helped me most deal with death? Knew it was coming
What Hindered me most in my dealing with death? Helping Other People cope
- - - Comments on this Questionnaire & collection GuestBook - - -
i think it is good, I have thought about death in a totally different
way until going through these statements
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Wed Apr 17 21:41:47 2002
Anon Guest in =Unknown Locale=
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Found us by: [ Read About it: ]
I read it in the book, "Urgent Whispers."
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Wed Apr 17 15:38:03 2002
F18 in Denton, Texas =USA=
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Found us by: [ Class Project ]
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Prof/Studies: Student- psychology
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Most Significant Recent Death Exp was death of GrandFather, 2 Months ago.
Cause of Death: old age; Aged: 83.
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--Death Is:
the end of Life.
--The first time I ever experienced someone's death, I
didn't really understand that he was never coming back so it didn't
hit me too hard. Then when I understood I was never going to touch
my dad again I had a tough time with it.
--That first time, how it happened was
IT was my father. He had diabeties and that somehow caused him to
have a heart attack and then while he was in the hospital a stroke.
--The Most Vivid memory I have of this most recent death is:
It was my grandfather's death. The nursing home and my aunt knew
he was dying for three weeks and did not tell us. I hate her for
not allowing us to say good-bye to him.
--What I think my (USA) culture needs to better learn about death is:
What happens to the Soul afterwards.
--One gift for which I shall always be grateful is:
Nothing dealing with Death.
--What was of most support to me in my experience with death was:
Time. Nothing is going to make me feel any better about the fact
that I am never going to touch my Pop-pop again except for time.
--And the most difficult for me in my experience with death was:
That I did not get to tell him how much I loved him before he died.
Also that he had no one else by his side telling him that. Just a
bunch of nurses.
--Regarding just Being There for someone dying, my advice would be:
Tell them that you love them and always will.
--[My GrandFather's] death taught me so much. I'd have others know how I:
wish I had made more time to show him I cared.
--The most confusing point of death for me was when:
I saw him in the open casket and he wasn't waking up
--Regarding Humor in the death process, I'd just say that:
I didn't laugh
--Not that it's a regret, but I would like to have better had time to:
see him more often and make him feel more loved.
--But some things worked out so well... I'm SO GLAD I was able to:
have him as a grandfather for 18 years
--I can get all teary-eyed just thinking about it all again when:
I see a picture of him.
--In another dimension of Life where this all had never happened...
If he were still here, I would be at his side at least every other
weekend.
--It's sometimes so very difficult. I just wish I could
Give him one more hug and kiss.
--When it really hit me... when I realized & acknowledged the death, I
devestated. All I could do was cry.
--Regarding MEDICINE, DOCTORS, etc:
I am real disappointed with the nursing home staff for not contacting
us that he was on hospice. They said they did not know how to
contact us. Funny, but they had no trouble knowing where to send
the bill every month.
--Regarding CHURCHES, RELIGION, etc:
hopefully, he was in a better place
--Religious Affiliation:
Baptist
--Regarding MONEY:
nothing really. Everything was already paid for.
--Regarding the FUNERAL:
that it was very poorly organized. The Masons did not seemed to
know what they were doing. The pastor forgot the music and some of
the people showed the fact that they HAD to be there on thier faces.
--The weirdest part of it all to me was:
Seeing my first dead person.
--SOME OF THE COMMON STAGES OF GRIEF:
it is okay to cry.
--How might you deal with yet unresolved issues from a death?:
The last thing that I said to him was "I'll see you at 4." and I
did not go back to the nursing home to see him. I feel like I left
him waiting and he died expecting to see me again.
--If we were to visit one last conversation...
I would want him to say that he understood why I didn't go back at
4 to see him and that he knew how very much I loved him. This would
make me feel alot less guilty about standing him up
--Regarding Rights & Wishes of the Dying:
I think that the burial and funeral arrangments should be taken care
of while the person is still alive and can make decisions about this.
--Any thoughts about your own death?:
I try not to think about myself dying because it makes me very sad.
If I knew i would die soon, I would quit worrying about the silly
things around and I would make amends with those things needing it.
It really worries me that one day, there won't be a me anymore and
the world will go on without me.
--Any Coping Ritual or Event you invented / devised to help you cope:
Nothing really other than crying
--Any New Friends emerge in the shared grieving process of Death?
not really
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1st Death event occurred in my life at: Pre-Teen
How'd I do? A bit rough
What Helped me most deal with death? Passage of Time
What Hindered me most in my dealing with death? Lack of Awareness
--As for reaching out helping others now as part of my healing process:
I wish my boyfriend had not been such an ass while this was all
going on. He really should have put our problems aside and been
there for me more.
- - - Comments on this Questionnaire & collection GuestBook - - -
This questionnaire just brought back some of the painful feelings
that i had during this time. It also made me feel worse about not
going back to see him.
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Wed Apr 17 14:36:53 2002
F19 in Collinsville, TX =u.s.a.=
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Found us by: [ Class Project ]
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Prof/Studies: ot
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Most Significant Recent Death Exp was death of Father-in-Law, 2 Years ago.
Cause of Death: heartattach; Aged: 49.
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--Death Is:
Something that is a part of life. It happens just as common as
birth. Everyone will be born live then die. It is nothing bad,
expecially if you are spiritual and belief in God and Heaven.
--The first time I ever experienced someone's death, I
was to young to understand the significance
--The Most Vivid memory I have of this most recent death is:
the fact that it was my boyfriends dad and that I've never seen
anything more saddining in my life my heart breaks to even think
about it and all the saddness.
--What I think my (u.s.a.) culture needs to better learn about death is:
that Death is not always bad, sometimes people suffer to much with
they are living
--One gift for which I shall always be grateful is:
God and Heaven
--What was of most support to me in my experience with death was:
Having a family who loved me
--And the most difficult for me in my experience with death was:
Having loved ones suffer so much
--Regarding just Being There for someone dying, my advice would be:
Don't be selfish and only think of yourself think of what that
person who is dying is going through
--[My Father-in-Law's] death taught me so much. I'd have others know how I:
Was supportive and just being in the presences of my boyfriend
helped him greatly
--Not that it's a regret, but I would like to have better had time to:
get to know him better
--But some things worked out so well... I'm SO GLAD I was able to:
be there for derek
--I can get all teary-eyed just thinking about it all again when:
I visit the grave site
--In another dimension of Life where this all had never happened...
sometimes. It would have been more benificial for my boyfriend to
still have his father. He had to quit school and go to work
--Sometimes I think: It's just not fair...
but I know there is a reason for everything
--When it really hit me... when I realized & acknowledged the death, I
didn't believe it
--Regarding HOSPICE etc:
I didn't have much contact with the hospitals
--Religious Affiliation:
babtist
--Regarding ONENESS of SPIRIT, etc:
I'd rather have my faith than to be lonely in my heart
--Regarding MONEY:
death shouldn't be so expensive. first of all you have the loss
of a loved one and then a loss in your money
--Regarding the FUNERAL:
how nice people were
--The weirdest part of it all to me was:
looking at the dead
--If we were to visit one last conversation...
I'd like to know how they felt about me.
--RE: After-death visits from our loved ones:
by best friend was staying the night with me and I heard her talking
to my dad so i woke up and it was still dark outside. I heard my
friend crying and asked her what was wrong and she said she just
saw her grandpa. I heard his voice and thought it was my dad,
but it wasn't
--Regarding Rights & Wishes of the Dying:
I want people to know what i want and respect my wishes
--Any thoughts about your own death?:
I have faith that I am going to heaven so I am prepared to die now
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1st Death event occurred in my life at: Young Child
How'd I do? Well
What Helped me most deal with death? Knew it was coming
What Hindered me most in my dealing with death? Distractions
--As for reaching out helping others now as part of my healing process:
having someone to talk to and listen
- - - Comments on this Questionnaire & collection GuestBook - - -
I respect death
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Wed Apr 17 11:10:37 2002
Anon Guest in =Unknown Locale=
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Found us by: [ Stumbled on it ]
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Most Significant Recent Death Exp was death of GrandFather, 8 Years ago.
Cause of Death: lung cancer; Aged: 50.
--Details:
he was a 2 pack a day smoker and a painter with his own business.
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--Death Is:
when someone's body dies and their soul goes on to care for the
people they loved even though you can't see them.
--The first time I ever experienced someone's death, I
cried nonstop even though i was supposed to be brave and not
--That first time, how it happened was
my fav grandpa died when i was 7
--The Most Vivid memory I have of this most recent death is:
my aunt became an alcolic and mymom and grandma and other aunt and
uncle were kinda depressed. and my uncle decided it was time to
quite smoking and drinking.
--What I think my () culture needs to better learn about death is:
the person is still with you and always will no matter what. they
are in your heart and their spirit is all around you.
--One gift for which I shall always be grateful is:
most of myfamily got closer adn my uncle quite smoking and drinking
--What was of most support to me in my experience with death was:
i need my mom and my music.
--And the most difficult for me in my experience with death was:
the fact that graps was not physically there anymore
--Regarding just Being There for someone dying, my advice would be:
telling them you love them
--[My GrandFather's] death taught me so much. I'd have others know how I:
can help them adn i know what it's like to lose the person that
was closest to you
--The most confusing point of death for me was when:
grandpa died .... i didn't know people died and i thought he was
going to live forever
--Not that it's a regret, but I would like to have better had time to:
to be with him one more timeto tell him i loved him before he died
--But some things worked out so well... I'm SO GLAD I was able to:
be with him asmuch as i could when he was alive
--When it really hit me... when I realized & acknowledged the death, I
*crying* when?? why??
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1st Death event occurred in my life at: Young Child
How'd I do? Well
What Helped me most deal with death? Music
What Hindered me most in my dealing with death? Other:
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Tue Apr 16 16:40:26 2002
F20 in Cleburne, TX =USA=
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Found us by: [ Class Project ]
I am writing a reaction paper to this website as a class project
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Most Significant Recent Death Exp was death of Great GrandMother, Jan Years ago.
Cause of Death: cancer; Aged: 85.
--Details:
She was a very active individual and was diagnosed shortly before
her death with cancer and deteriorated very rapidly after that point.
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--Death Is:
Somthing that happens some time in life for everyone. It is very
sad if you really know the person and is a great loss and void in
your life. Sometimes though it can be a relief if the person is in
a lot of pain or something like that.
--The first time I ever experienced someone's death, I
Was 9 years old. My greatgranfather died and I really didn't know
what it was all about. But I soon found out.
--The Most Vivid memory I have of this most recent death is:
When I was actually at the funeral, I got sick to my stomach. I
remember looking at my mother and she was crying and I sincerely
asked why she was crying. Everyone seemed to be really supportive
though.
--What I think my (USA) culture needs to better learn about death is:
That we need to focus on the the life that they lived instead of
their death and that one day we will all unite again in heaven.
--One gift for which I shall always be grateful is:
The encouraging thoughts at the funeral. There was a great spirit
and death is not that end of someones life, they are just resting
in the arms of Jesus
--And the most difficult for me in my experience with death was:
Them not being there anymore.
--[My Great GrandMother's] death taught me so much. I'd have others know how I:
That her legacy lives on. She was a valued part of the community
and very talented, so she is not forgotten.
--Not that it's a regret, but I would like to have better had time to:
Spend more time getting to know him before he got to such a state
that he would not recogize me or anything.
--One seemingly minor thing (yet important) which impressed me was when:
My Greatgrandmother had died several years prior but I just could
not really grasp the whole concept and so one day I was just reading
something and it hit me that she had died. I just began to sob and
I think for me it just took that long for it to really sink in.
--When it really hit me... when I realized & acknowledged the death, I
Since I was so young I knew that death was an unpleasant thing so
the first thing that I did was run to a different room and I began
to cry.
--Regarding HOSPICE etc:
My relative did not go into hospice she wanted to die at home and
I think that she was happeiest there.
--Regarding CHURCHES, RELIGION, etc:
That death isn't a final destination. There is hope that we will
all meet in heaven again.
--Religious Affiliation:
Seventh day Adventist
--Regarding ONENESS of SPIRIT, etc:
I think different than most on the whole spirit of the dead thing. I
believe that once someone dies their spirit does not go to heaven
but rather they are just asleep in the grave until Jesus comes
again and then the wake up as if no time had passed for them.
--If we were to visit one last conversation...
I would tell them how much they meant and still mean to me. I
would thank her for teaching me the piano and how to paint and just
sharing her life with me.
--Any thoughts about your own death?:
I don't think that I am really ready to die or prepared. It really
scares me. I know that is why God doesn't necessarily inform us
because we would be too overwhelmed by it all.
--Any Coping Ritual or Event you invented / devised to help you cope:
Just being alone to digest the whole experience was good for me.
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1st Death event occurred in my life at: Young Child
How'd I do? Adequate
What Helped me most deal with death? Family's Sensitivities
I was very young and so did not completely know what was going on
What Hindered me most in my dealing with death? Ability to Forget
He died on Christmas Eve which was his favorite holiday so everytime
Christmas comes aroung I think about that
- - - Comments on this Questionnaire & collection GuestBook - - -
At first it was a hard thing to grasp. I thought that I would never
get over the fact that they weren't there anymore. But over time, things
go back to normal with just a void replacing the one that was once there.
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Mon Apr 15 22:33:31 2002
F17 in Sydney, Nsw =Australia=
Name: Lara
Email: <sweet_summerblu_Lara=at=Hotmail.com>
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Found us by: [ Web Search: ]
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Prof/Studies: student
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Most Significant Recent Death Exp was death of Uncle, 4 Years ago.
Cause of Death: cancer; Aged: 55.
--Details:
caused by smoking
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--Death Is:
Losing somebody, you may be close to. They are gone untill you
die. It causes intense pain and anguish. However in the end you
learn o deal with it.
--The first time I ever experienced someone's death, I
Was 13-14 years old. I didn't cope with it too well, I just denied
to myself it had happened, because he lived far away from me and
I didn't see his body I could't accept it.
--The Most Vivid memory I have of this most recent death is:
The pain and tears. Every thought or memory of him would bring me to
tears. It took me 3 years to accept it. Even though we knew it was
comming it was still a shock because he was there one day laughing
and smiling and the next day gone untill the day I die.
--What I think my (Australia) culture needs to better learn about death is:
How to accept it. I think our culture is pretty good at support
though. However you can just "get over it and move on" like they
say in the movies, it is a lot harder than that.
--One gift for which I shall always be grateful is:
Reading a book on death. I wish so hard that I could remember what it
was called but I can't. It took you step by step on dealing with-out
them. Also I had a beautiful dream. At first it was a nightmare
and as I was about to be killed the deam stopped and my uncle was
standing there next to me I was 3 years old yet had the mind-set that
I do now. He said how sorry he was to leave me and that he was fine,
and misses everyone. And I finally got to say goodbye to him. After
that the memories didn't hurt anymore they finally made me smile.
--What was of most support to me in my experience with death was:
Able to get closure in my dream, I was able to say goodbye. Also
I read some grief books which helped.
--And the most difficult for me in my experience with death was:
Accepting that they are gone. And knowing you will never see them
again. It is hard
--Regarding just Being There for someone dying, my advice would be:
Tell them how much you really love them, and let them have a clear
mind when they die. (ie not seeing you fall to peices, they will
feel guilty) And hold that moment. It is the last time you will ever
see them again, say goodbye! You have no idea how much it hurts if
you don't.
--Not that it's a regret, but I would like to have better had time to:
Say goodbye properly. The last time I saw him I had stayed up all
night at my best friends bithday party. So I had had no sleep... So
I slept the whole time I was with him. I couldn't have possably
have known that it was the last time I would ever see him. I never
got to say goodbye because of it.
--One seemingly minor thing (yet important) which impressed me was when:
People would look at me and in their eyes tell me how they felt or
hugged me without saying a thing. Because I wanted to punch the
people in the head who sad "I'm sorry for your loss" they just
weren't words that I wanted to hear yet. I didn't want to accept
it on their account I wanted to take my time and accept it when I
was ready. That helped alot when people just hugged me insted of
uttering those words.
--I can get all teary-eyed just thinking about it all again when:
I have to reflect on the feelings that I had when I was going through
it. How what helps me an umbelieveable amount is remembering what
we had together. The summers we spent together, things he used to
say etc.
--In another dimension of Life where this all had never happened...
I wouldn't know how to approach the thought of death. Although he
would still be here.. I would know that I wouldn't be able to cope
with my grandmothers death, through my uncles death I learned how
to cope and how important saying goodbye is so I was able to say
it to my nanna.
--It's sometimes so very difficult. I just wish I could
Have one moment of us together agian. One moment.
--When it really hit me... when I realized & acknowledged the death, I
shocked, even though I knew it was going to happen, to hear those
words is heart wrenching.
--Regarding CHURCHES, RELIGION, etc:
A bit. He wasn't a religious man but however he knew his wife
was. So when he died he left her a note in the bible, because he
knew she would find it there.
--RE: Visions from the 'Other Side':
Yeah I was having a bad dream and right before I was to be be-headded
my uncle came to me in my dream and told me that he was fine and
he misses all of us and I got to say goodbye. That is what helped
me to accept his death.
--If we were to visit one last conversation...
refer to above questions
--RE: After-death visits from our loved ones:
refer to above questions
- - - - - P e r s o n a l H i s t o r y - - - - -
1st Death event occurred in my life at: Pre-Teen
How'd I do? Adequate
What Helped me most deal with death? Memories to hold
it was a long process
What Hindered me most in my dealing with death? Knew it was coming
- - - Comments on this Questionnaire & collection GuestBook - - -
I just have one last thought that I had, one difficlut thing
I found was that my uncle died at 7:30am on christmas morning,
I said goodbye to my grandmother at 9:30am on christmas day, it
hurt to lose them both on "the happiest day of the year" to see
everyone running around laughing and playing while I lost 2 people
I love hurt so bad but I learnt to deal with it however now I am
a bit cautious about losing someone on christmas day now.
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Mon Apr 15 20:32:15 2002
Anon Guest in =Unknown Locale=
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Found us by: [ Web Search: ]
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Most Significant Recent Death Exp was death of GrandMother, Years ago.
Aged:
--Details:
Has not passed away yet.. She is now at Hospice.. expected to go
at anytime
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - T O P I C A L S - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
--Death Is:
Going away to a better place to be with our loved ones.. Never
to return
--The first time I ever experienced someone's death, I
was a young mother to be..
--The Most Vivid memory I have of this most recent death is:
My Uncle not taking it well.. It caused him to really go off the
deep end.
--What I think my () culture needs to better learn about death is:
LET GO
--One gift for which I shall always be grateful is:
He went to a better place.. Where he will not hurt anymore
--What was of most support to me in my experience with death was:
understanding that grandma's and grandpa's don't last forever. They
lived a long wonderful life
--And the most difficult for me in my experience with death was:
never seeing them again
--Regarding just Being There for someone dying, my advice would be:
They know your there.. They will go knowing you were by their side
--The most confusing point of death for me was when:
She is just hanging on.. Doctors say they don't even know how she
is still breathing.. Why wont she just let go?
--But some things worked out so well... I'm SO GLAD I was able to:
I just lost my job about a week and a half ago.. I spent everyday
of the week with her.. Playing around and cleaning for her.. I'm
so gld I have had that time
--Regarding HOSPICE etc:
They were great with my grandmother. And it was a beautiful place
- - - - - P e r s o n a l H i s t o r y - - - - -
1st Death event occurred in my life at: Young Adult
What Helped me most deal with death? Passage of Time
What Hindered me most in my dealing with death? Family's Sensitivities
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Mon Apr 15 18:11:31 2002
F20 in Graham, North Carolina =USA=
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Found us by: [ Class Project ]
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Recommended Reading-- Titles:
the Bible
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Most Significant Recent Death Exp was death of GrandMother, 13 Years ago.
Cause of Death: heart problems; Aged: 68.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - T O P I C A L S - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
--Death Is:
very difficult when you lose someone you love. Especially if it
is unexpected and you don't have time to say good-bye
--The first time I ever experienced someone's death, I
was about 9 years old. My grandmother past away from heart problems
unexpectedly. It was hard for me.
--The Most Vivid memory I have of this most recent death is:
My momma went through a big depression because it was her mother.
She had a lot of guilt because she had left the hospital after
Granny's surgery because the doctor's said she would be fine.
Mom was only leaving for a few minutes because she had been there a
while and she needed a
"breather", but when she got back they told
her Granny was dead. That was hard for me and my dad to deal with.
--What I think my (USA) culture needs to better learn about death is:
it's not always a bad thing. I am a Christian and for me if I know
someone is going to heaven then I can deal with it better. I know
they aren't suffering anymore. They are in a much better place.
The pain is still there, but it does help.
--One gift for which I shall always be grateful is:
if Granny did come through and started to breathe on her own then
there was a chance she would have a major heartattack and be in a
vegetative state. I would not want that for her. She's in heaven
now and has no pain.
--What was of most support to me in my experience with death was:
my church and my beliefs.
--And the most difficult for me in my experience with death was:
I went through a denial state.
--Regarding just Being There for someone dying, my advice would be:
don't cry a lot as if they were already gone. Enjoy every moment
you're with them.
--[My GrandMother's] death taught me so much. I'd have others know how I:
cherish the time you have with your loved ones because you never
know when they'll be gone.
--The most confusing point of death for me was when:
I didn't have time to say good-bye, and I was mad at God for a
short while for taking her.
--Not that it's a regret, but I would like to have better had time to:
say I love you one last time.
--One seemingly minor thing (yet important) which impressed me was when:
I realized God had a reason for it, and a reason for everything
in life.
--I can get all teary-eyed just thinking about it all again when:
I reminiss about things we did together and times we shared.
--In another dimension of Life where this all had never happened...
I know I would cherish every second I am with her.
--Sometimes I think: It's just not fair...
why her. why now. I didn't even get to say good-bye
--It's sometimes so very difficult. I just wish I could
wake up and it be a bad dream. Not reality.
--When it really hit me... when I realized & acknowledged the death, I
didn't believe it.
--Regarding MEDICINE, DOCTORS, etc:
they did all they could
--Regarding CHURCHES, RELIGION, etc:
the world to me.
--Religious Affiliation:
Baptist
--Regarding ONENESS of SPIRIT, etc:
I believe if you're saved you go to heaven. You're soul anyway.
--Regarding MONEY:
it didn't really matter
--Regarding the FUNERAL:
people won't to be there even when they don't know how.
--SOME OF THE COMMON STAGES OF GRIEF:
i had to cry until i couldn't cry any more and then some
--How might you deal with yet unresolved issues from a death?:
we had a great relationship.
--If we were to visit one last conversation...
I would just want them to be proud of what i have become
--Any Coping Ritual or Event you invented / devised to help you cope:
just time
- - - - - P e r s o n a l H i s t o r y - - - - -
1st Death event occurred in my life at: Young Child
How'd I do? Adequate
What Helped me most deal with death? My Belief System
and prayer
What Hindered me most in my dealing with death? Denial
- - - Comments on this Questionnaire & collection GuestBook - - -
it was good to reflect again. I think I view death in a different
light now.
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Mon Apr 15 15:12:29 2002
F19 in Burlington, Northcarolina =united states=
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Found us by: [ Teacher ]
I had to do these studies for a research paper for Psycology
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Prof/Studies: nursing program
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Recommended Reading-- Titles:
The Holy Bible
Recommended Reading-- Writers:
King James Version
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Most Significant Recent Death Exp was death of GrandFather, july Years ago.
Cause of Death: surgery; Aged: 72.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - T O P I C A L S - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
--Death Is:
When we take our last breath and our hearts beat for the last time
and we close our eyes and descend into another life up in heaven.
--The first time I ever experienced someone's death, I
was 4 years old and my great grandmother died with me in the room
but I was too young for it to effect me.
--The Most Vivid memory I have of this most recent death is:
That I tried to kill myself and didn't eat or want to talk to
anyone. I felt life had ended.
--What I think my (united states) culture needs to better learn about death is:
The plac ethat you go to after you die,Heaven. I f you aren't saved
you will go to hell.
--One gift for which I shall always be grateful is:
My mom met Mike, my step-dad and they got married.
--What was of most support to me in my experience with death was:
The support that I had from all my friends and family and my dad
came to see for the first time in 3 years.
--And the most difficult for me in my experience with death was:
I loved him more than the world and he wasn't there to see me in
Homecoming or graduate or my senior prom.
--Regarding just Being There for someone dying, my advice would be:
Listening to them is the best, and tell them your experiences
of death.
--[My GrandFather's] death taught me so much. I'd have others know how I:
Became a stronger individual and became more independent.
--The most confusing point of death for me was when:
God took him away even though I prayed for him not too.
--Regarding Humor in the death process, I'd just say that:
Thats what I needede at the time to just let all out.
--Not that it's a regret, but I would like to have better had time to:
tell my grandfather that I loved him and hug him, and tell him
that I would miss him.
--But some things worked out so well... I'm SO GLAD I was able to:
go through a wonderful year at high school with all A's my senior
year.
--One seemingly minor thing (yet important) which impressed me was when:
things seem to fall into place.
--And exactly backwards: what we didn't make a big deal of, was:
what are we going to do with the house.
--I can get all teary-eyed just thinking about it all again when:
a certain song plays and when people talk about it and when i
feel depressed.
--In another dimension of Life where this all had never happened...
I would be a much happier person and still living at my other house.
--Sometimes I think: It's just not fair...
that he has to die, why can't someone else die??
--It's sometimes so very difficult. I just wish I could
go to heaven and be with him.
--When it really hit me... when I realized & acknowledged the death, I
didn't believe it happened I thought it would all go away.
--Regarding MEDICINE, DOCTORS, etc:
they suck
--Regarding CHURCHES, RELIGION, etc:
all the world. It helped to have people praying for you.
--Religious Affiliation:
baptist
--Regarding ONENESS of SPIRIT, etc:
helpful and makes you realize whats there.
--Regarding MONEY:
we had none but it seemed to be there when we needed it.
--Regarding the FUNERAL:
all the people that attended and cared about him.
--The weirdest part of it all to me was:
seeing them inthat casket.
--SOME OF THE COMMON SIGNS OF DEATH :
decrease in heart rate and pressure and going into a coma.
--SOME OF THE COMMON STAGES OF GRIEF:
I was mad then sad then depressed,then okay at times.
--RE: Visions from the 'Other Side':
I have seen my loved one on several occassions, even now.
--If we were to visit one last conversation...
they would say they were proud of me and loved me still and that
they saw mw at all those events I was in.
--RE: After-death visits from our loved ones:
I was sitting on my chair and I caought a glimpse of himon the
couch and then he came to me a dream.
--Regarding Rights & Wishes of the Dying:
take care of all the funeral needs and make a will.
--Any thoughts about your own death?:
I would not be scared but I would make sure all people that I loved
knew it.
--Any Coping Ritual or Event you invented / devised to help you cope:
I wrote poems about it and spent time to myself.
--Any New Friends emerge in the shared grieving process of Death?
I gained a boyfriend out of it for 10 months but we broke up and
my mom got a husband otu of it.
- - - - - P e r s o n a l H i s t o r y - - - - -
1st Death event occurred in my life at: Teen Ager
How'd I do? Adequate
What Helped me most deal with death? Friends' Sensitivities
prayer and the lord
What Hindered me most in my dealing with death? People's Stories, etc.
bringing back the memories
--As for reaching out helping others now as part of my healing process:
I needed my mom to be strong for me and be there for me.
- - - Comments on this Questionnaire & collection GuestBook - - -
yes and it was well-written up.
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Sat Apr 13 12:19:28 2002
F36 in Mebane, NC =US=
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Found us by: [ Class Project ]
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Recommended Reading-- Titles:
Bible
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Most Significant Recent Death Exp was death of GrandMother, 18 Years ago.
Cause of Death: cancer; Aged: 48.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - T O P I C A L S - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
--Not that it's a regret, but I would like to have better had time to:
Say good-bye.
--I can get all teary-eyed just thinking about it all again when:
Her favorite song is sang in church.
--Regarding CHURCHES, RELIGION, etc:
Peace
--Religious Affiliation:
Baptist/Christian
--RE: Visions from the 'Other Side':
she said, "I can hear the angels singing. It's the most beautiful
sound I have ever heard."
- - - - - P e r s o n a l H i s t o r y - - - - -
1st Death event occurred in my life at: Teen Ager
How'd I do? Very Difficult
What Helped me most deal with death? Religion/Clergy
What Hindered me most in my dealing with death? Viewing the Body
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Sat Apr 13 10:33:23 2002
F19 in Burlington, NC =USA=
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Found us by: [ Class Project ]
Teacher
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Most Significant Recent Death Exp was death of GrandMother, 14 Years ago.
Cause of Death: Pancreatic cancer; Aged: 86.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - T O P I C A L S - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
--Death Is:
a sad time of physical loss but it happens & we have 2 find our
way of coping
--The first time I ever experienced someone's death, I
was sad
--That first time, how it happened was
It was my Grandma
--The Most Vivid memory I have of this most recent death is:
missing my grandma
--What was of most support to me in my experience with death was:
Parents
--And the most difficult for me in my experience with death was:
that person not being there
--Regarding just Being There for someone dying, my advice would be:
loving them & letting them know u love them by going 2 c them &
cheering them up
--The most confusing point of death for me was when:
How i will cope w/ n when it happens 2 someone else close
--Not that it's a regret, but I would like to have better had time to:
be closer
--But some things worked out so well... I'm SO GLAD I was able to:
understand although i was young
--And exactly backwards: what we didn't make a big deal of, was:
i was sad but i don't remember crying at the funeral
--When it really hit me... when I realized & acknowledged the death, I
sad i wish i had gotten closer
--Regarding MEDICINE, DOCTORS, etc:
i was young
--Regarding CHURCHES, RELIGION, etc:
a type of coping
--Religious Affiliation:
Baptist
--Regarding ONENESS of SPIRIT, etc:
the body of the person is gone but they r still w/ u
--The weirdest part of it all to me was:
her not being there for me & mostly my MOM
- - - - - P e r s o n a l H i s t o r y - - - - -
1st Death event occurred in my life at: Young Child
How'd I do? Adequate
What Helped me most deal with death? Memories to hold
Prayers
What Hindered me most in my dealing with death? The Funeral
Missing that person
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Fri Apr 12 23:08:28 2002
Anon Guest in =Unknown Locale=
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Found us by: [ Class Project ]
psy class
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Most Significant Recent Death Exp was death of Cousin, 8 Years ago.
Cause of Death: disease; Aged: 3.
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--Death Is:
it is when a person goes on to another place other than earth.
it hurts the people around them b/c they don't see them anymore.
--The first time I ever experienced someone's death, I
cried and asked a lot of questions
--The Most Vivid memory I have of this most recent death is:
my cousin telling me to stop crying b/c she is going to a 'better
place' now
--What was of most support to me in my experience with death was:
time passing away
--And the most difficult for me in my experience with death was:
the funeral
- - - - - P e r s o n a l H i s t o r y - - - - -
1st Death event occurred in my life at: Young Child
How'd I do? Adequate
What Helped me most deal with death? Ability to Forget
What Hindered me most in my dealing with death? Memories to hold
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Thu Apr 11 23:06:05 2002
F19 in MPLS, MN =USA=
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Found us by: [ Stumbled on it ]
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Prof/Studies: College Student
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Most Significant Recent Death Exp was death of GrandMother, 8 Weeks ago.
Cause of Death: Congestive Heart Failure; Aged: 64.
--Details:
VERY UNEXPECTED!!!
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - T O P I C A L S - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
--Death Is:
The beginning of what life is all about. Peace, happiness and no
more pain.
--The first time I ever experienced someone's death, I
was very young. I remember a couple other times vaguely. Very sad.
--The Most Vivid memory I have of this most recent death is:
it brought my entire family together so closely.
--What I think my (USA) culture needs to better learn about death is:
there is no death. Death is the beginning to life with Jesus.
--One gift for which I shall always be grateful is:
Heaven is not far away.
--What was of most support to me in my experience with death was:
being with my family and the ones I loved.
--And the most difficult for me in my experience with death was:
it was so unexpected and we were so close. It was a shock.
--Regarding just Being There for someone dying, my advice would be:
Show you care. Talk to them, hold their hand. You never know when
that last moment will happen. Do not take a second for granted!
--[My GrandMother's] death taught me so much. I'd have others know how I:
Don't take life for granted. Call people to tell them that you love
them. Let them know that you are thinking about them. You may never
have that chance again.
--The most confusing point of death for me was when:
She was in the coma for two weeks. I didn't understand why she was
sick, why she was in the hospital, why she wouldn't wake up.
--Regarding Humor in the death process, I'd just say that:
we all needed a laugh over those two weeks in the hospital. We had
to keep our hopes up one way or another! Plus, my grandma would
have been mad if we all sulked around crying the whole time!
--Not that it's a regret, but I would like to have better had time to:
do our "spring cleaning" like we had planned. Or even to just be
able to get to talk to her one more time and give her a hug and
tell her I love her.
--But some things worked out so well... I'm SO GLAD I was able to:
be at peace knowing that she was going to be in peace.
--One seemingly minor thing (yet important) which impressed me was when:
we all stood around her bed and prayed that night in the hospital.
--And exactly backwards: what we didn't make a big deal of, was:
it was all very important.
--I can get all teary-eyed just thinking about it all again when:
I see a picture of her or hear a voice like hers. Just thinking
about that whole situation in the hospital.
--In another dimension of Life where this all had never happened...
I would constantly take time out to go over and hang out with my
grandparents, or just call her to chat with her about life. Grow
an even closer bond.
--Sometimes I think: It's just not fair...
that she is so young and was taken at the age of 64. I don't
understand how other people live to be so old, and yet are
unhealthy. My grandma was very young!
--It's sometimes so very difficult. I just wish I could
see her again. In my dreams. I will someday, when we meet again in
heaven. I wish I could erase time and skip over the time she got
sick and went into the hospital. At least change how she was in
the hospital. She was so critically sick, I wish she would have
been able to once open her eyes in those two weeks, or squeezed
our hands or have said I love you. I wish I could change that.
--When it really hit me... when I realized & acknowledged the death, I
I was very sad at the same time, I knew she had gone to be in a
painless heaven and would be much happier! I was standing there
when she died.
--Regarding MEDICINE, DOCTORS, etc:
They were so-so. They kept telling us two different stories. They
didn't know why she was so sick, why she wasn't waking up. But in
the end, I didn't worry, just as long as grandma was in peace!
--Regarding CHURCHES, RELIGION, etc:
prayers galore.
--Religious Affiliation:
I am religious.
--Regarding ONENESS of SPIRIT, etc:
Heaven is for everyone who believes in Christ Jesus.
--Regarding the FUNERAL:
it was beautiful. Her flowers and angels were everywhere. Couldn't
have been better. She loved it, I know it!
--The weirdest part of it all to me was:
Sensing peace the moment she took her last breath. Peace from God.
--SOME OF THE COMMON SIGNS OF DEATH :
I don't know. It was sudden.
--SOME OF THE COMMON STAGES OF GRIEF:
I remained close in contact with my family, relatives and friends. I
prayed a lot!
--How might you deal with yet unresolved issues from a death?:
My grandma and I left on perfect terms. I wish I could have said
good bye to her though.
--If we were to visit one last conversation...
Just to say we love each other and that every moment we ever spent
together was totally worth it. It would make me feel better if
I could have said good bye. I would have told her how much Jesus
loves her.
--RE: After-death visits from our loved ones:
I have had a couple dreams about my grandma being back. She is in
her rocking chair and we are talking a normal conversation, mainly
about memories, like "Remember grandma when.." and we would laugh.
--Any thoughts about your own death?:
I know that if I were to die, it would be because it was my time. I
would go to a much happier place called heaven and live a perfect
eternal life with everyone I love.
--Any Coping Ritual or Event you invented / devised to help you cope:
Prayers.
--Any Coping Rituals or Events which have carried over into your life?
I pray more often now.
--Any New Friends emerge in the shared grieving process of Death?
My whole family has grown closer. Especially between my dad and
I. And my boyfriend and I.
- - - - - P e r s o n a l H i s t o r y - - - - -
1st Death event occurred in my life at: Young Adult
What Helped me most deal with death? Prayers
Knowing heaven is there
What Hindered me most in my dealing with death? Denial
- - - Comments on this Questionnaire & collection GuestBook - - -
It was nice reliving the memories I have of my grandma.
- - - Any other questions you feel we should have asked here?
Add favorite memories shared together.
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Tue Apr 9 18:11:49 2002
F19 in =Unknown Locale=
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Found us by: [ Class Project ]
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Recommended Reading-- Titles:
none
Recommended Reading-- Writers:
none
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Most Significant Recent Death Exp was death of GrandFather, 2 1/2 Years ago.
Cause of Death: sickness; Aged: 82.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - T O P I C A L S - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
--Death Is:
leaving earth and going to a better place.
--The first time I ever experienced someone's death, I
was scard and very upset
--The Most Vivid memory I have of this most recent death is:
holding my paw-paw's hand as he took his last breath
--What I think my () culture needs to better learn about death is:
there is a better place to go and that is heaven
--One gift for which I shall always be grateful is:
if you go to heaven you will live forever doing things that you
have always wanted to do. no more crying, hurting, worring,or any
thing else that is bad
--What was of most support to me in my experience with death was:
knowing that everyone will die one day and that no longer will this
person suffer from anything. also knowing that we will meet again
in a better place
--And the most difficult for me in my experience with death was:
maybe never seeing the person again and missing them being around
--Regarding just Being There for someone dying, my advice would be:
making them happy by doing things that they ask you to do
--[My GrandFather's] death taught me so much. I'd have others know how I:
was there when he squeezed my hand for the last time when he took
his last breath. I talked to him the whole time telling him that it
is ok for him to go. i said over and over that everything will be ok
--The most confusing point of death for me was when:
my grandmother died from an instant heart atack, she was not sick
or anything, she just fell back on her bed and died
--Not that it's a regret, but I would like to have better had time to:
tell my grandma how much i loved her and thank her for everything
that she has done for me and the family
--But some things worked out so well... I'm SO GLAD I was able to:
be there during the time of my grandma and paw-paw's time of passing
--And exactly backwards: what we didn't make a big deal of, was:
money and selling the house
--I can get all teary-eyed just thinking about it all again when:
i see something that reminds me of them
--Sometimes I think: It's just not fair...
to take them away so quick or its not fair to make them suffer
--It's sometimes so very difficult. I just wish I could
see them or go visit them and talk to them
--When it really hit me... when I realized & acknowledged the death, I
am shocked and can't believe what is going on
--Regarding HOSPICE etc:
they were very helpful and supportive
--Regarding CHURCHES, RELIGION, etc:
alot, praying and bring god in the picture helped me the most
--Religious Affiliation:
christian
--Regarding ONENESS of SPIRIT, etc:
free and unconditional love and help
--Regarding the FUNERAL:
you see who your true friends are. everyone was very nice and sinsere
--The weirdest part of it all to me was:
my family arguing over the money and house
--SOME OF THE COMMON SIGNS OF DEATH :
differance in attitude, health decline, color of skin, alertness
--SOME OF THE COMMON STAGES OF GRIEF:
it was very hard because i always see the person as i seen them
when they were dying, what they looked like then
--Any Coping Ritual or Event you invented / devised to help you cope:
thinking of the good times and knowing that we will meet again
- - - - - P e r s o n a l H i s t o r y - - - - -
1st Death event occurred in my life at: Pre-Teen
How'd I do? A bit rough
What Helped me most deal with death? Passage of Time
keeping busy and praying
What Hindered me most in my dealing with death? Disbelief it could happen
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Tue Apr 9 11:18:36 2002
Anon Guest in =Unknown Locale=
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Found us by: [ Stumbled on it ]
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Most Significant Recent Death Exp was death of GirlFriend, 1.5 Years ago.
Cause of Death: suicide; Aged: 15.
- - - - - P e r s o n a l H i s t o r y - - - - -
1st Death event occurred in my life at: Pre-Teen
How'd I do? Very Difficult
What Helped me most deal with death? Zoning Out
What Hindered me most in my dealing with death? Denial
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Tue Apr 9 10:03:04 2002
F18 in Durham, nc =usa=
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Found us by: [ Class Project ]
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Most Significant Recent Death Exp was death of Best Friend, 1 Months ago.
Cause of Death: car accident; Aged: 17.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - T O P I C A L S - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
--Death Is:
When a person stops breathing forever
--The first time I ever experienced someone's death, I
took it very hard.
--The Most Vivid memory I have of this most recent death is:
seeing her lying in the casket
--What I think my (usa) culture needs to better learn about death is:
it happens and you have to deal with it
--One gift for which I shall always be grateful is:
my schooling
--What was of most support to me in my experience with death was:
Talking to my friends about Leslie (the girl who died)
--And the most difficult for me in my experience with death was:
Not ever being able to see her again
--Regarding just Being There for someone dying, my advice would be:
Everything works out for the best
--[My Best Friend's] death taught me so much. I'd have others know how I:
Loved her so much
--The most confusing point of death for me was when:
i learned she was dead and thought why at such an young age
--Regarding Humor in the death process, I'd just say that:
its a good idea to laugh
--Not that it's a regret, but I would like to have better had time to:
apologize for being harsh to her at the beach the weekend before
--But some things worked out so well... I'm SO GLAD I was able to:
Go to the beach with her one time
--One seemingly minor thing (yet important) which impressed me was when:
Building freiendships
--And exactly backwards: what we didn't make a big deal of, was:
money
--I can get all teary-eyed just thinking about it all again when:
i see pictures of that person
--In another dimension of Life where this all had never happened...
We would be closer than we were before.
--Sometimes I think: It's just not fair...
that she dies at such a young age
--It's sometimes so very difficult. I just wish I could
Go to sleep and forget about it forever
--When it really hit me... when I realized & acknowledged the death, I
No that cant be true
--Regarding MEDICINE, DOCTORS, etc:
Good
--Regarding HOSPICE etc:
They do a great job
--Regarding CHURCHES, RELIGION, etc:
nothing
--Religious Affiliation:
Baptist
--Regarding ONENESS of SPIRIT, etc:
nothing
--Regarding MONEY:
money is nothing compared to friendship
--Regarding the FUNERAL:
How her fiance cried and yelled
--The weirdest part of it all to me was:
knowing ill never see her again
--SOME OF THE COMMON SIGNS OF DEATH :
stuff coming out of mouth
--SOME OF THE COMMON STAGES OF GRIEF:
you have to take it one step at an time
--RE: Visions from the 'Other Side':
never happened
--RE: Near Death Experiences:
i do not want to disceuss it
--How might you deal with yet unresolved issues from a death?:
That there is so much that i needed to tell her
--If we were to visit one last conversation...
Id tell her one more time to leave the loser she was with before
he killed her
--RE: After-death visits from our loved ones:
nope
--Regarding Rights & Wishes of the Dying:
nothing
--Any thoughts about your own death?:
Everyone has their time
--Any Coping Ritual or Event you invented / devised to help you cope:
working on my scrapbook of leslie
--Any Coping Rituals or Events which have carried over into your life?
you take life to the fullest now
--Any New Friends emerge in the shared grieving process of Death?
No
- - - - - P e r s o n a l H i s t o r y - - - - -
1st Death event occurred in my life at: Young Adult
How'd I do? Very Difficult
What Helped me most deal with death? Helping Other People cope
What Hindered me most in my dealing with death? Memories to hold
--As for reaching out helping others now as part of my healing process:
Talked to my friends
- - - Comments on this Questionnaire & collection GuestBook - - -
its good
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Tue Apr 9 07:22:25 2002
M56 in St-Andrews, Fife =Scotland=
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Found us by: [ CrossLink from: ]
searching psychology experiments
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Most Significant Recent Death Exp was death of Best Friend, 33 Years ago.
Cause of Death: suicide; Aged: 24.
--Details:
breakup with his girlfriend
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - T O P I C A L S - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
--Death Is:
the complete cessation of the ability to undertake any activity,
to become totally inert.
--The first time I ever experienced someone's death, I
was a child and although death had been explained to me I didn't
really understand it.
--The Most Vivid memory I have of this most recent death is:
Disbelief, guilt, and denial.
--What I think my (Scotland) culture needs to better learn about death is:
Why is death necessary.
--One gift for which I shall always be grateful is:
It made me aware of my own mortality and that nothing was that
important to deliberately end life.
--What was of most support to me in my experience with death was:
Friends and family
--And the most difficult for me in my experience with death was:
Coming to terms with the ending of a life far to soon.
--Regarding just Being There for someone dying, my advice would be:
Be calm peaceful and positive.
--[My Best Friend's] death taught me so much. I'd have others know how I:
Realized just how valuable life is and that you never know what
the next day will bring.
--The most confusing point of death for me was when:
I first heard that my friend was dead, I could not accept that it
was not some gastly mistake.
--Regarding Humor in the death process, I'd just say that:
N/A
--Not that it's a regret, but I would like to have better had time to:
Have had the time to talk him out of it.
--But some things worked out so well... I'm SO GLAD I was able to:
N/A
--One seemingly minor thing (yet important) which impressed me was when:
N/A
--And exactly backwards: what we didn't make a big deal of, was:
N/A
--I can get all teary-eyed just thinking about it all again when:
Certain music comes on the radio
--In another dimension of Life where this all had never happened...
N/A
--Sometimes I think: It's just not fair...
That someone who had so much to live for would find it necessary
to take his own life
--It's sometimes so very difficult. I just wish I could
N/A
--When it really hit me... when I realized & acknowledged the death, I
total disbelief
--Regarding MEDICINE, DOCTORS, etc:
There was no involvement of the medical services, this was a
private act.
--Regarding HOSPICE etc:
N/A
--Regarding CHURCHES, RELIGION, etc:
Nothing
--Religious Affiliation:
None
--Regarding MONEY:
N/A
--RE: Visions from the 'Other Side':
N/A
--RE: Near Death Experiences:
I have had a near death experience when I seemed detached from my
body. I found it a curious experience.
--If we were to visit one last conversation...
No one, no matter how close to you, is worth the ending of your
life. I have become an optimist in my life and beleive that no
matter how bad things may seem at the moment there are always better
things ahead.
--RE: After-death visits from our loved ones:
My mother claimed that my farther returned to visit her and to
assure her that he was OK. She found a great deal of comfort in this.
--Regarding Rights & Wishes of the Dying:
My only wish is that those I leave behind will be able to come to
terms with my no longer being there.
--Any thoughts about your own death?:
Death holds no fear for me, I will continue to live life as fully
as possible until my time arrives when I will go contentedly.
--Any Coping Ritual or Event you invented / devised to help you cope:
Just the act of saying goodbye
- - - - - P e r s o n a l H i s t o r y - - - - -
1st Death event occurred in my life at: Pre-Teen
How'd I do? Adequate
What Helped me most deal with death? Passage of Time
What Hindered me most in my dealing with death? Nothing at all
--As for reaching out helping others now as part of my healing process:
By being willing to listen and to allow other people to express
their thoughts and feelings.
- - - Comments on this Questionnaire & collection GuestBook - - -
My experience of death (I have lost many friends and relatives over
the years) has made me come to value life and to fully experience
all that I can.
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Sun Apr 7 19:07:40 2002
F42 in Brockville, Ontario =Canada=
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Prof/Studies: buyer/Planner Telecommunications
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More personal info:
do you think I have some strange ideas about him and what happened??
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Most Significant Recent Death Exp was death of Brother, 6 Years ago.
Cause of Death: car accident; Aged: .
--Details:
it seemed like he knew he was going to die....he paid all his bills
and debts the day before....wierd...
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - T O P I C A L S - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
--Death Is:
going to a beautiful place...where others that you have known and
loved are there waiting for you...
--The first time I ever experienced someone's death, I
devastated....my husbands best friend was walking to our house and
got hit by a car crossing the road on a foggy night...he was 31
--The Most Vivid memory I have of this most recent death is:
my brother was at my house at 1:00 in the afternoon.....something
made me really look at him.....every curve of his face....his
hair....his smile.....I didn't realize this until after the
fact...but I did...and I still do...
--What I think my (Canada) culture needs to better learn about death is:
I like to belive we celebrate their life.....and how they were when
they were with us.....we miss them...but they will always be with
us as long as we have a memory of them....and we have many.....
--One gift for which I shall always be grateful is:
there is nothing grateful about death unless someone has a terrible
disease that is incurable and they are suffering....then death is
a blessing.....ime
--What was of most support to me in my experience with death was:
time.....it heals all wounds...
--And the most difficult for me in my experience with death was:
anger... and the sense of loss.....of my best friend...
--Regarding just Being There for someone dying, my advice would be:
go to the light.....
--[My Brother's] death taught me so much. I'd have others know how I:
how much I admired him and respected him....but they knew that
anyway.....
--The most confusing point of death for me was when:
he used to wake me up in the night.....for at least 3 months.....and
I kept feeling like there was something he wanted me to do......I
still don't know what that is....
--Regarding Humor in the death process, I'd just say that:
ok Rob I know your witts are sharp ....what in hell did that car
look like that drove you off the road!!
--Not that it's a regret, but I would like to have better had time to:
handcuff him to the chair and keep him here...
--But some things worked out so well... I'm SO GLAD I was able to:
have a brother like him.....he was so special....
--One seemingly minor thing (yet important) which impressed me was when:
he squeezed my hand
--I can get all teary-eyed just thinking about it all again when:
like now.......... I cried for a whole year....and slowly have
progressed now down to only maybe a few times a year...but then
again...I could cry a when I think about him
--In another dimension of Life where this all had never happened...
he would do nothing but enrich my life and the life of my family
...... my father wouldn't be in an institution....he blamed himself
...and had a nervous breakdown....he's never recovered..
--Sometimes I think: It's just not fair...
why take a loving, good person at 32 years of
age....handsome...thinking about marriage....why...????
--When it really hit me... when I realized & acknowledged the death, I
shock, denial, I had to call my parents and tell them their son has
no brain activity and they are putting him on life support.....it
was my father's birthday...
--Regarding CHURCHES, RELIGION, etc:
he went to Heaven
--Religious Affiliation:
Catholic
--Regarding MONEY:
DUHHHHHHH!!!!!!!
--Regarding the FUNERAL:
my brother was loved by many people.....we were flabergasted by
the attendance at his funeral.....it was so moving.....
--The weirdest part of it all to me was:
he wanted me to do something......
--SOME OF THE COMMON STAGES OF GRIEF:
my brother didn't want to live on a life support and told me that
not 3 months prior to his accident....my parents weren't able to
make that decision......so I did.....that's what he wanted....
--RE: Near Death Experiences:
my mother died on the operating table...she saw herself lying
there....could hear the dr's and nurses talking....she said she felt
a very calming and painless and a weightlessness....and there were
ppl calling her from above her.....she said she glimipsed at the
light...but kept looking at herself on the table.....then someone
said ...you aren't finished yet.....then she said she felt pain
again.....they had her heart going again...
--How might you deal with yet unresolved issues from a death?:
I like to kick that SOB in the butt for doing this to us.....we
nor he deserved it!!!
--RE: After-death visits from our loved ones:
a friend has seen a man standing in my mother's living room....4:00
in the afternoon....she said he was very good looking wearing a
suede bomber jacket and jeans. He had brown hair and very blue
eyes....My mom looked at me and I looked at her and we both knew
it was my brother.....she described him to a T and I had the jacket
in my closet ....
--Regarding Rights & Wishes of the Dying:
I have just witnessed a dieing man suffer terribly.....I firmly
believe in euthenasia........good Lord we put our pets to sleep
when they are beyond help but we won't even do it mercifuly to our
own mankind.......give me a break!!!!
--Any thoughts about your own death?:
We live.....we love, we enjoy, we reproduce, we make the best of
what God and this beautiful earth gives us without desicrating
it.....then we leave.....we all are....here for a good time....not
a long time....
--Any Coping Ritual or Event you invented / devised to help you cope:
talk about the person....remember them.....because they are alive
as long as you remember them
--Any Coping Rituals or Events which have carried over into your life?
tell the people you love that you love them.... share good times
together...and always....always take pictures
- - - - - P e r s o n a l H i s t o r y - - - - -
1st Death event occurred in my life at: Teen Ager
What Helped me most deal with death? Passage of Time
not being with him or spending time with him..........sense of
great loss
--As for reaching out helping others now as part of my healing process:
I recluse...
- - - Comments on this Questionnaire & collection GuestBook - - -
it is good......I wouldn't want to take it immediately after I
lost someone close.... my feelings are the same today as they were
then....but..I'm a tough cookie....he he
- - - Any other questions you feel we should have asked here?
yes.....perhaps for somebody who has seen a person the day or the
day before they died.....because...I y brother came into my kitchen
at 1:00 in the afternoon and he had such a glow about him....it
made me really look at him..and I thought boy what a handsome guy
he is...and I felt very proud of him....but this was something that
I was doing subconsiously... I only realilzed it after he had his
accident.....but I do remember doing it....it was like God telling
me take a good look....because he's leaving...
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Fri Apr 5 20:51:22 2002
Anon Guest in =Unknown Locale=
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Found us by: [ Web Search: ]
Google
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Most Significant Recent Death Exp was death of Friend, 1 Years ago.
Cause of Death: suicide; Aged: 34.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - T O P I C A L S - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
--Death Is:
i cease to exist as a sentinent being.
--The first time I ever experienced someone's death, I
Wathced my mother grieve but understood so little. I was only 5.
--The Most Vivid memory I have of this most recent death is:
The shock when i first heard it. I cried for the first time in years.
--What I think my () culture needs to better learn about death is:
There is no afterlife. Realize.
--One gift for which I shall always be grateful is:
The memory remains
--What was of most support to me in my experience with death was:
Thinking about the good old times
--And the most difficult for me in my experience with death was:
That i would never see my old dear friend again.
--[My Friend's] death taught me so much. I'd have others know how I:
My friend committed suicide. She was a heavy drug abuser. It really
made me realize that the only thing suicide does is shorten life.
--The most confusing point of death for me was when:
Everything was clear. Crystal clear.
--Regarding Humor in the death process, I'd just say that:
I didn't laugh. But now i'm laughing my ass off.
--Not that it's a regret, but I would like to have better had time to:
spend some more time with her
--But some things worked out so well... I'm SO GLAD I was able to:
forget it.
--And exactly backwards: what we didn't make a big deal of, was:
all the fuzz
--When it really hit me... when I realized & acknowledged the death, I
cried. I felt sad. And a bit confused.
- - - - - P e r s o n a l H i s t o r y - - - - -
1st Death event occurred in my life at: Very Young Child
What Helped me most deal with death? Nothing at all
I just didn't care.
What Hindered me most in my dealing with death? Family's Sensitivities
But i still didn't care.
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Thu Apr 4 15:19:49 2002
F28 in Toronto, Ontario =Canada=
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Found us by: [ Stumbled on it ]
Yahoo games has a section for psychological experiments under which
I found your site.
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Prof/Studies: child caregiver and student
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More personal info:
As a person born with a condition known as Bi-Polar or
manic-depression, I have had many times throughout my life when
death has been contemplated at great length.
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Most Significant Recent Death Exp was death of , Years ago.
Aged:
- - - - - P e r s o n a l H i s t o r y - - - - -
1st Death event occurred in my life at: Very Young Child
How'd I do? Very Well
What Helped me most deal with death? My Belief System
i believe that everyone is here with a lesson to learn and upon
completion we "die" or move on the next level of our learning. This
may result in many "lives" here on Earth, in many forms (human,
Animal) but ultimately we achieve a state of higher being that goes
beyond what any can understand but what many try to explain through
the varying beliefs in and honouring of God(s) that occur in one
form or another the whole world over.
What Hindered me most in my dealing with death? Silence & Taboos
Of course there is always that everpresesnt fear of the unknown.
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Thu Apr 4 15:16:00 2002
M29 in chicago, il =usa=
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Found us by: [ Web Search: ]
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Prof/Studies: Consulting
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Most Significant Recent Death Exp was death of Father, 4 Years ago.
Cause of Death: cancer; Aged: 44.
--Details:
see above
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - T O P I C A L S - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
--Death Is:
Is when or body cease to function, and the spirit leaves to be
with God.
--The first time I ever experienced someone's death, I
was so young I barely was aware of what was happening. I think
that is why I have had a hard time in my adult life with my
father's death. If he had lived I wouldn't be who I am, and I
guess I wonder who I would grown to become if had lived.
--That first time, how it happened was
My father was diagnosed with a rare form of cancer of the small
intestine, the dawadwin(spelled phonetically) At the time there
were only two other known cases in the world. My sister asked her
doctor about this type of cancer and he had never heard of it.
The doctor asked others in his practice and they had did not have
any knowledge of it.
I was not to involved being so young.
I can remember images but that is about it. I did see his body
the morning he died, but did not attend the funeral.
--The Most Vivid memory I have of this most recent death is:
Is that we acted like it didn't happen.
--What I think my (usa) culture needs to better learn about death is:
Don't hide, don't delay, and enjoy every stage of life we have the
privelege to live from childhood, young adult, middle, and old age.
It seems our culture sees no value in getting old, and wants to stay
25 forever. Maybe we would handle our mortality differently if we
didn't get stuck at 25. What is so wrong with losing your hear,
or gaining experience.
--One gift for which I shall always be grateful is:
How close most of my family has become. My oldest brother is
distant, but I think that is from the stress of the responsiblity
put on him
--What was of most support to me in my experience with death was:
I am looking for something to help me put my fathers death aside.
Maybe that is my problem. I think I can put it in box, but I can't,
and I need to accept that.
--And the most difficult for me in my experience with death was:
The loss of the opportunity to know the man that gave me my last
name. A learn first hand what were his passions.
--Regarding just Being There for someone dying, my advice would be:
Let your feelings out. Use what little time you have left to deepen
your love while you can.
--I can get all teary-eyed just thinking about it all again when:
I am in high stress situations, or starting a new relationship.
When I was on wall st, people were amazed at how calm I always am.
I can't believe you don't get upset about this or that, but I learned
from my Dad's death to bottle up emotions and move on. Deal with
what needs to be dealt with. However, when I start dating a woman,
or in hi personal stress situations I cocoon even more so.
--It's sometimes so very difficult. I just wish I could
Be with my Dad and see what advice he would have.
--Regarding MEDICINE, DOCTORS, etc:
They try, but they are trained to believe they know more they
everyone else, and often times there arogance costs lives.
--Regarding CHURCHES, RELIGION, etc:
Attend church on sunday, and having the priest consul the family.
--Religious Affiliation:
Roman Catholic
--Regarding ONENESS of SPIRIT, etc:
That the dead are not really dead. They are here somehow, or
watching the events of our lives.
--Regarding the FUNERAL:
I wish more of my Dad's friends would of stayed engaged. It seemed
like a lot of them disappeared. I would of liked to talk to them,
and see what they thought of him, memories they had of spending
time with him.
--How might you deal with yet unresolved issues from a death?:
It is still unresolved, and it always will be. I want to have a
relationship with my Dad. I never had the chance, and I never will.
--Any thoughts about your own death?:
In some ways I look forward to it. I am not suicidal, but I think
I will get the opportunity to get to know my Father when it happens.
Hopefully many years from now.
--Any New Friends emerge in the shared grieving process of Death?
I think that is one of things I lacked. Both of my grandfathers
were already dead, and my older brothers left for college when I
started becoming aware of wanting a father figure.
- - - - - P e r s o n a l H i s t o r y - - - - -
1st Death event occurred in my life at: Very Young Child
How'd I do? Very Difficult
What Helped me most deal with death? Other:
I have found anything to help, maybe time. It happened 25 years ago,
and I had tried to bury my emotions. However, that has not worked.
It may have but the stress of my home office getting blown up
brought it out.
What Hindered me most in my dealing with death? Abandonment
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Thu Apr 4 12:16:44 2002
F43 in Graham, NC =USA=
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Found us by: [ Class Project ]
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Most Significant Recent Death Exp was death of Mother, 3 Years ago.
Cause of Death: car accident; Aged: 78.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - T O P I C A L S - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
--Death Is:
is the passage from this realm of physical existence as we know it
into the spiritual realm
--The first time I ever experienced someone's death, I
grieved
--The Most Vivid memory I have of this most recent death is:
How the Holy Spirit gave me joy in the midst or grief and how
grateful I was to know Jesus and my mother's relationship to Him.
--What I think my (USA) culture needs to better learn about death is:
not to be afraid of it and talk about it
--One gift for which I shall always be grateful is:
God's gift of joy and the love of family present
--What was of most support to me in my experience with death was:
Trusting God and his promises
--And the most difficult for me in my experience with death was:
missing my mother
--Regarding just Being There for someone dying, my advice would be:
Let them express doubts and fears and love them through them
--[My Mother's] death taught me so much. I'd have others know how I:
how God is true and He walks you through
--The most confusing point of death for me was when:
how grief wiped away the pretense in other relationships
--Not that it's a regret, but I would like to have better had time to:
have talked to mom when they brought her into the emergency room
before they had her intubated.
--But some things worked out so well... I'm SO GLAD I was able to:
know there's hope and that death is just a transition
--One seemingly minor thing (yet important) which impressed me was when:
spending time at moms house alone
--I can get all teary-eyed just thinking about it all again when:
I need my mom
--In another dimension of Life where this all had never happened...
I hope I would appreciate my mother more and talk alot more about
the important things
--Sometimes I think: It's just not fair...
that good people have to suffer
--It's sometimes so very difficult. I just wish I could
go off by myself for a couple of days with no justification for it
--When it really hit me... when I realized & acknowledged the death, I
I wanted to be there for her
--Regarding MEDICINE, DOCTORS, etc:
The balance between meeting physical needs of the patient and the
emotional needs of the family is tenuous. If they know a patient
is likely to die, they need to allow the family more time with them
--Regarding CHURCHES, RELIGION, etc:
home to my mother and it felt like carrying her home for the funeral
--Religious Affiliation:
Methodist
--Regarding ONENESS of SPIRIT, etc:
God loves everyone and is available to everyone, it feels whole
--Regarding MONEY:
my mother's estate had enough to cover expenses so it wasn't an
issue eventhough I think funeral homes need to make known lesser
expensive options to everyone
--Regarding the FUNERAL:
I appreciated everyone who came and everyone mattered
--The weirdest part of it all to me was:
The air of divine providence that surrounded the whole process
--SOME OF THE COMMON SIGNS OF DEATH :
blueing of extremities
--SOME OF THE COMMON STAGES OF GRIEF:
trust god and pray and cry
--How might you deal with yet unresolved issues from a death?:
I believe people on the otherside get to see all truth therefore
everything is finished
--If we were to visit one last conversation...
I'm sorry I failed you in so many ways, I love you, you were a good
mother, It would offer a cleansing of unfinished business
--RE: After-death visits from our loved ones:
I was grieving and thinking through what my mom's last day must
have been like, when words describing her day and words of joy and
celebration flowed through me in such a way I knew they were not
my words. They were being given to me through the Holy Spirit.
I believe they were the words my mother needed for us to hear.
I wrote them down and shared them at her funeral. The poem was
very powerful
--Regarding Rights & Wishes of the Dying:
Let your wishes be known, let them know you are ready to go when
the time comes and that you love them so they won't feel a need to
keep you hanging on to talk with them one last time
--Any thoughts about your own death?:
I want to have a personal relationship enough with Jesus that he
will show up to see me through like I know he did for my mother
--Any Coping Ritual or Event you invented / devised to help you cope:
taking time to explore and clean out her house
--Any Coping Rituals or Events which have carried over into your life?
I celebrate life and thank God for it more
--Any New Friends emerge in the shared grieving process of Death?
I depended on a friend that resurfaced during this time to carry
me through because I believed he knew my heart.
- - - - - P e r s o n a l H i s t o r y - - - - -
1st Death event occurred in my life at: Young Child
How'd I do? Very Well
What Helped me most deal with death? My Belief System
not having someone I could share my innermost thoughts with
--As for reaching out helping others now as part of my healing process:
Just love me and share her life with me
- - - Comments on this Questionnaire & collection GuestBook - - -
Somewhat
- - - Any other questions you feel we should have asked here?
The wording feels a little cumbersome in the beginning
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Wed Apr 3 20:21:14 2002
Anon Guest in =Unknown Locale=
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Found us by: [ Web Search: ]
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Most Significant Recent Death Exp was death of Father, 20 Years ago.
Aged:
- - - - - P e r s o n a l H i s t o r y - - - - -
1st Death event occurred in my life at: Young Adult
How'd I do? A bit rough
What Helped me most deal with death? Therapy
What Hindered me most in my dealing with death? Denial
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Wed Apr 3 15:18:28 2002
M22 in =Unknown Locale=
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Found us by: [ Web Search: ]
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Most Significant Recent Death Exp was death of Father, 2 Years ago.
Cause of Death: heart attack; Aged: 52.
--Details:
My father was out mowing the lawn and just collapsed. My mother
did not find him for about half an hour later and there was nothing
that could be done. He died instantly.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - T O P I C A L S - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
--Death Is:
the end. There is no coming back, no taking back anything said,
no saying things that should have been said. You no longer exist
on the earth, but you exist in the hearts of those who loved you.
--The first time I ever experienced someone's death, I
was a snot nosed 20 year old. I know it's only been two years but
I grew up a lot in those two years and am finally able to appreciate
everything that my father did for me in my life.
--The Most Vivid memory I have of this most recent death is:
the excruciating pain that I felt when I was first told.
I'll never forget how much that hurt and when I think of it, I have
difficulty breathing it hurts so much.
--What I think my () culture needs to better learn about death is:
never to leave things unsaid. I wish I could have thanked my father
for the sacrifices he made for us, but I was too selfish to realize
that at the time.
--One gift for which I shall always be grateful is:
the fact that my brother and I were able to become best friends from
my father's passing. We were able to look upon the one person we
loved the most and build a friendship upon that relationship.
--What was of most support to me in my experience with death was:
being able to talk with my brother and fiancee about my pain
--And the most difficult for me in my experience with death was:
the same feeling of not having anyone to talk to...I felt as if no
one could ever understand my pain.
--Regarding just Being There for someone dying, my advice would be:
to tell them that you really love them.
--[My Father's] death taught me so much. I'd have others know how I:
was finally able to make decisions that would make me happy.
I wanted to make my father so proud that I would have done anything
for him. After he passed, I didn't have that and was finally able
to make decisions for myself.
--The most confusing point of death for me was when:
my father first passed away and my family ripped each other apart.
My mother and I still do not get along because of the hateful things
that were said.
--Not that it's a regret, but I would like to have better had time to:
thank my father for being such a wonderful father.
--But some things worked out so well... I'm SO GLAD I was able to:
finally make decisions to make myself happy. I was able to pick
a major in college that I wanted, not what others were pressuring
me in to.
--I can get all teary-eyed just thinking about it all again when:
it's the simple things..I would love to call my dad and tell him
about a good grade I got on a midterm, or just for advice. I would
give anything just to hear his voice again, or give him a hug one
last time.
--In another dimension of Life where this all had never happened...
I would have followed the same major and would probably failed out
of school. I have no idea where I would be then.
--Sometimes I think: It's just not fair...
that my father had to die when there are so many lousy parents out
there that don't deserve to live.
--When it really hit me... when I realized & acknowledged the death, I
can't believe this is happening. My brother told me over the phone
and I thought he was joking. I was actually starting to get upset
because I just could not believe that this was the truth.
--Regarding MEDICINE, DOCTORS, etc:
negativitity. More should have been done so that my father would
have lived past 52. Better medication, better advice...
--Regarding CHURCHES, RELIGION, etc:
nothing. I don't have a religion.
--Religious Affiliation:
Atheist. I'm still too angry with God.
- - - - - P e r s o n a l H i s t o r y - - - - -
1st Death event occurred in my life at: Young Adult
How'd I do? Very Difficult
What Helped me most deal with death? Passage of Time
It simply got easier over time. When he first pased away, I was
suicidal but from talking with others, it has ease my pain greatly.
What Hindered me most in my dealing with death? Family's Sensitivities
After my father passed, my family collapsed. We tore at each other
and were unable to speak for a couple of months after. It was only
after time were we able to come together to support each other.
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Tue Apr 2 11:20:51 2002
M19 in HOUSTON, TEXAS =USA=
Name: KENNY
Email: <bullriderregix=at=yahoo.com>
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Found us by: [ Web Search: ]
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Prof/Studies: CRIMINAL JUSTICE
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Most Significant Recent Death Exp was death of Acquaintance, 2 Years ago.
Cause of Death: CAR ACCIDENT; Aged: 18.
--Details:
HE WAS A VERY INTELLIGENT, VERY TALENTED PERSON THAT HAD A LOT
AHEAD OF HIM. HE HAD A MOTHER AND FATHER THAT WERE TWO OF THE
BEST PARENTS A PERSON COULD ASK FOR, AND HIS BROTHER WAS ALSO ONE
OF THE BEST THAT YOU COULD ASK FOR.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - T O P I C A L S - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
--Death Is:
AN EXPERIENCE WHERE YOU GET TO MEET YOUR CREATOR, YOUR EARTHLY BODY
IS NO LONGER ALIVE, BUT YOUR SOUL LIVES ON FOREVER, IN THE PLACE
THAT YOU HAVE MADE THE DECISION TO LIVE, (HEAVEN OR HELL)
--The first time I ever experienced someone's death, I
COMPLETELY LOST IT, I HAD NO CLUE WHAT TO THINK, HE WAS THE LAST
PERSON THAT I TALKED TO BEFORE I LEFT THE RODEO THAT DAY, IT HURT
WORSE THAN ANYTHING THAT I HAD EVER FELT BEFORE
--That first time, how it happened was
a FRIEND OF MINE WAS LEAVING A RODEO AND WAS KILLED IN A CAR ACCIDENT
--The Most Vivid memory I have of this most recent death is:
THE FUNERAL, OVER 5,000 PEOPLE TRIED TO ATTEND THE FUNERAL, AND
I WAS OUT OF TOWN AND MISSED IT, IT TOOK ME A VERY LONG TIME TO
FORGIVE MYSELF
--What I think my (USA) culture needs to better learn about death is:
GOD, HEAVEN, HELL, WHERE ARE YOU GOING WHEN YOU DIE, LOOK AT THE
FACTS, FIND OUT FOR YOURSELF, TALK TO PEOPLE AND MAKE THE RIGHT
DECISION
--One gift for which I shall always be grateful is:
IT MAKES YOU REALIZE JUST HOW MANY PEOPLE REALLY DO CARE ABOUT THE
PERSON, BUT IT SHOULDN'T TAKE DEATH FOR THEM TO AKNOWLEDGE YOU
--What was of most support to me in my experience with death was:
SUPPORT FROM FRIENDS AND FAMILY, NAMELY MY FATHER
--And the most difficult for me in my experience with death was:
KNOWING THAT I WOULD NEVER BE ABLE TO COMPETE AGAINST YATES MANAHAN
AGAIN, I WOULDN'T BE ABLE TO HANG OUT WITH HIM AT RODEOS, AND I
WOULD HAVE TO TALK TO HIS PARENTS, NOT KNOWING WHAT TO SAY
--Regarding just Being There for someone dying, my advice would be:
LET THEM KNOW THAT YOU CARE, LET THEM KNOW THAT THEY ARE LOVED,
ASK THEM TO FORGIVE YOU FOR ANY MISTAKES THAT YOU HAVE MADE, LET
THEM KNOW THAT YOU FORGIVE THEM FOR THEIR MISTAKES
--[My Acquaintance's] death taught me so much. I'd have others know how I:
REGRET NOT BEING MORE OPEN, AND LETTING HIM KNOW HOW I FELT
--The most confusing point of death for me was when:
HE DIED, HE HAD SO MUCH AHEAD OF HIM
- - - - - P e r s o n a l H i s t o r y - - - - -
1st Death event occurred in my life at: Teen Ager
How'd I do? A bit rough
What Helped me most deal with death? My Belief System
What Hindered me most in my dealing with death? Memories to hold
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Mon Apr 1 11:55:28 2002
F15 in =Unknown Locale=
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Found us by: [ Web Search: ]
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Most Significant Recent Death Exp was death of dog, 6 Years ago.
Cause of Death: seizures; Aged: 10.
--Details:
It hurt.
--That first time, how it happened was
My grandmother had triple bypass surgery and went into a coma.
She woke up about a week later, but was never the same. I distanced
myself from her, and dealt with her "death." Soon she passed from
complications from Gangreen surgery.
- - - - - P e r s o n a l H i s t o r y - - - - -
1st Death event occurred in my life at: Teen Ager
How'd I do? Very Well
What Helped me most deal with death? Knew it was coming
What Hindered me most in my dealing with death? Guilt
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See Mar 02 contributions.
See Feb 02 contributions.
See Current contributions.
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