Age:[ 32 ] Gender:[ F ]
My mom died seven months ago of mutliple myeloma. A rare bone cancer that is the most painful of them all. No amount of pain-killers helped. It was just awful. I don't understand why there are child-molesters and rapists allowed to live forever in prison and God called someone like Mom home. I need her here. It may sound selfish, but she was only 48 and I didn't expect to have to deal with this for many many years. I wasn't ready. We watched her die ever so slowly and painfully for three years. I thought I was prepared. I guess that you can never be prepared for something like this. If I had one wish? It would be for her to have one more day here to hold and run with her grandchildren (which she never got to do), go shopping with me, to make love to Dad one more time, one more day to just hold me and remind me that she IS here. I try not to cry, but it has absorbed me. I feel like I'm spinning out of control. I'm just going through the motions. I feel like joining her sometimes, but I have two little girls that I need to be here for. Momma-cita, I miss you sooo very much. I know you are my angel watching over me. When things are really bad, I feel your touch. Whenever I want to be close to you I put on your clothes and talk to you. I KNOW you can hear me... I just wish that there was a phone up there, so I could hear YOU. I love you, Mom. I'm sorry I wasn't there that morning you left. I know you were holding on and waiting for me to get there. Guess I showed up one day too late.
Fri Oct 20 08:12:53 2000 back to other Contributions page