Date: Sun, 6 Oct 1996 02:01:30 -0700
From: [husker1=at=firstnethou.com]
Missing Piece
By [husker1=at=firstnethou.com]
Location: US

Age:[ 17 ] Gender:[ f ]

Comments:

	
					Missing Piece

	A jerk of the wheel, a screech of the tires, and a deafening clamor of crashing
metal.  The fate of an innocent soul, altered forever.

	The two proceeding weeks after the accident, I got to know the inside of a
hospital far better than I ever wanted to.  I, along with Chrisís other friends stood by and
watched him slowly fade away.  Seeing him lay on the hospital bed, he looked so small
and helpless, a side I never thought I would ever see of Chris.  Everyday we received
the same indefinite news from the doctors, but then he somehow slipped away.

	The moment I had heard that Chris had died, my body felt a jolt that it has never
felt.  It was as if someone had taken away the air and I could not breathe.  Then all I did
was cry for hours on end while images and memories of him devoured my mind.

	Chris was the most special and individualistic person one could meet and I feel
so blessed to have known him during the short time he was here.  The one thing I
regret the most is not really realizing how incredible he was until it was too late.  His
presence was incomparable to anyone elseís.  Chris could make you feel  enraged,
cheerful, and completely flattered at any given moment and even all at the same time. 
He had this inconceivable charm and charisma that was noticed by all who were in his
presence.  He had a way with words in which he could talk practically anyone into
doing anything for him.  He could flatter even the most self conscious of girls, even
when they pretended to be completely offended and appalled.  When you got to really
know Chris, you learned that he would do absolutely anything for his friends and you
knew you could trust him with your life.

	You could talk to Chris about anything and he was always there to listen to and
understand every word and feeling.  I would sometimes talk to him for hours which went
by like minutes because he was such an easy person to talk to.  I felt like I could tell
him anything and I could trust him with what I said.  

	Chris also had the greatest sense of humor you could find and with his one of a
kind laugh and widespread smile, you could not help but be sucked in by his hilarity.  I
recently went through the dozens of pictures I have of Chris from the past  few years
and noticed that there was not one picture in that stack that did not have his beautiful
smile in it.   Chrisís smile was the most angelic thing about him and the way I most
often remember him.  His smile would completely light up his face and when you looked
into those dough brown eyes of his, you couldnít help but get the greatest feeling
inside.  What I would not give to see that heavenly smile one last time.

	So many things begin to run through your head when you lose someone close. 
You begin a cycle of emotions from pain to regret, emptiness to reminiscence.  You
long for one last chance to tell them all the things unsaid and undone.  You yearn for
that one last moment  to hold them close.  But when you retain those desires too long,
they begin to eat inside of you.  

	The morning of the accident, Chris had called me while I was still asleep. 
Nothing has ever festered inside of me more then the regret of not being up that
morning.  If I had only been awake I would have been able to tell him goodbye, even if I
would not have known it would be the last time.  There are so many things left unsaid
between me and Chris and so many things I regret.  Itís just another hole in my heart
that will never be completely filled.  Chris took a part of me with him when he died, but
it comforts me to know that this way we will always be a part of each other for eternity.

	There are not enough words or feeling to describe how incredible a person Chris
was.  He had accomplished so much and touched so many peopleís hearts during the
time that he was here.  His innocent and loving soul was taken away from us far too
soon, but in all our hearts he left a piece of him behind and because of this, Chris will
live on forever.                          

-- . . . [ husker1=at=firstnethou.com ]

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