Date: Sun, 18 Aug 1996 19:22:33 -0700
From: Steve Knowland [bfarside=at=bright.net]
My Beloved Wife

By Steve Knowland
Location: Ohio US

Age:[ 30 ] Gender:[ M ]

Comments:

	My Beloved Wife. I first heard this song by Natalie Merchant
several months after my wife died, hence the name of the post here.
She was 27 and died 5 days after Christmas and 9 days before her 28th
birthday. Julie always did have lousy timing. 

Julie did many things for me in the six years < four married > we were 
together. She became my best friend virtualy overnight, little did I 
know at the time that she was interested in more than friendship.
It wasn't long before I fell for her big time. She had the most 
beautiful brown eyes, so deep and revealing. Her eyes were the first 
thing I noticed about her, how honest they were, how open.

She's been gone almost a year a half and in that time I've gone 
through a lot of changes. A new job, a stronger relationship with 
my in-laws, a new girlfriend. 

When she died a popular song at the time was "Forever Autumn" by 
Justin Hayward. I thought that song summed up everything. It described 
me, my wife and how I felt about it all. Fortunately I have many 
people in my life who continue to push me to not allow my life to 
become forever autumn, but to look to spring and rebirth of the 
spirit. I have much life ahead of me and shouldn't try to live in 
the past. 

Julie and I never shared the same religous beliefs; her being
Christian and me being Buddhist, but we agreed that they were
seperate paths leading to the same place. She has reached that place
before me and I hope that when my time comes I get the opportunity
to see her again, to thank her for the wonderful gifts she gave me.
She taught me love, devotion, compassion. She taught me to fight for
what I believe and to never compromise on my beliefs. 

I bought this computer after Julie died, it was something we always 
wanted. So, I have dedicated my web page to her memory, an 
everlasting tribute to the woman I loved. 


-- Steve Knowland . . . [ bfarside=at=bright.net ]

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